Waiting For So Long
by monchele
Summary: That was when he decided, right there and then, that he needed to see her. He'd been suffering for too long and he couldn't go another day without her. Future Finchel.
1. Chapter 1

They had broken up senior year. _Senior year!_ That was three freaking years ago. But why the hell wouldn't she get out of his head? Frustrated, Finn threw the shoebox violently across the bedroom, letting it hitting the wall and fall to the ground, spilling its contents all over the carpet. He ran his fingers through his hair. It had been a habit of his whenever he got mad or aggravated.

He sighed heavily and walked across the other side of the room, beginning to pick up the various things that had fallen on the floor. He sorted all the papers in a pile. He smiled. These were the notes they had exchanged in class when they were dating back at McKinley. Finn had sworn to Rachel he had thrown them out but always pocketed them when the bell had rung for the next class. He frowned at the next thing he picked up. It was the small golden heart necklace he had given her for Valentine's Day in junior year. They weren't together then, she had cheated on him. He closed his eyes tightly at the memory. But he reopened them when he realised how she had made it up to him. She wrote a song for Regionals, and she had revealed her inspiration was him. And he didn't know what happened after that. _Something_ clicked in his head. He remembered running backstage before doing their next number and kissing her until neither of them could breathe. Those were the painful memories, the ones where they were actually happy.

He remembered the day she had broken up with him. It was about a month before graduation. She had shoved the necklace in his hand and told them they were over for good. She said she was moving to New York as soon as graduation was over and that he was going to be dragging her career down. And that's exactly what she did. The day after graduation, she hopped on a plane, leaving Finn with nothing more than a short letter in an envelope:

_Finn,_

_I am so sorry you had to find out this way... but as cliché as it sounds, I'm leaving. My bags are packed, my flight's booked and in a few hours I'll be on a plane to New York City. I couldn't face you to say goodbye because... somehow, I think you would've made me stay here in Lima with you._

_We've had our... difficulties, I know Finn, but you were my best friend as well as my first love. Those feelings don't just disappear... I have a feeling they never will... but I need to focus on my career. This is about my reputation and my future, Finn, and you of all people know how important that is. _

_So please... move on from this, move on from me. You are far better off without me. Please, just... trust me._

_I love you,  
Rachel_

_P.S. I trust your number will stay the same so I will call as often as I can. I promise._

She never called. But that didn't mean Finn didn't wait for it. Oh, he waited for it. For months and months. After a couple of weeks he tried calling her number but found out it had been disconnected. He found himself needing her. Needing to hear her voice. He wanted to see her, hold her, kiss her, anything to make the pain go away.

After a few months he found out he was nothing without her. She had helped him discover who he was all those years ago, and now he was just so lost. His life just wasn't the same.

* * *

Rachel paced her apartment anxiously.

"What if they don't call? Or worse, what if they call and say I was terrible!" She put her face in her hands until she felt a familiar soothing voice calm her down automatically.

"Rach, they're not going to say you're terrible, trust me. I didn't see it, but I dare say you were the best one in that audition."

Rachel turned to her fiancée, a small smile growing on her face. "I love you," she whispered, throwing her arms around his neck.

"I love you too, Rach," he whispered in her ear and beginning to kiss down her neck.

She giggled; she loved hearing those words come out of his mouth.

Rachel really had missed Jesse St. James after sophomore year, but she never would've revealed that to anyone. Yes, he had broken her heart and cracked eggs on her head, but he had redeemed himself in her eyes. Especially when they started dating and that memorable night when he got down on one knee in front of everyone at her favourite restaurant.

She never thought about getting married this young. But there was something about Jesse. She loved him. But whenever she thought of love, another name besides Jesse came to mind. Finn Hudson. Her first and only real true love. Of course she loved Jesse, and she would never ever admit this to him but, there was a part of her that was always going to be in love with Finn. The part of her that would stay up half the night thinking about him, what he was doing, if he was with anyone. She physically shuddered at that last thought. But she wanted him to be happy... and someone should be there to pick up the pieces, especially since she left him like that.

She felt like most terrible person in the world for doing that to him.

Rachel was thinking about Finn when Jesse let her go. She knew what she was doing to Jesse was wrong, thinking about another guy. But she really missed Finn. Maybe seeing him would help...

The phone rang suddenly and snapped Rachel back to reality. Her eyes widened. "Oh my God!" She practically sprinted to the phone, picked it up and after a few 'yes'' and 'uh huh's', there was a very loud scream on her end of the phone. It took her a second to realise that it was her own scream. "Really? Oh my God, thank you so much! You have no idea how much this means to me!" She was jumping up and down at this point. "Yes, of course I'll be there. Thank you!" She hung up the phone and screamed again, jumping into Jesse's already outstretched arms.

Did she really just land the lead in her first off-Broadway show?

"I knew you could do it, babe," he whispered, his face pressed into her hair.

They stayed like that for a few minutes. Rachel's excitement left as soon as she thought of Finn again. She had imagined for years, ever since she met Finn that he would be there for this moment and would be there in the front row on opening night. Tears sprung into her eyes unexpectedly thinking about it. Jesse pulled away and asked what was wrong. She casually lied to him, saying this whole thing was making her overemotional.

She suddenly gasped. "I have to call Kurt!" She then rushed into the bedroom, shutting the door and not emerging for three hours. She would've liked to say she was talking to Kurt the entire time, but when Jesse said he had to go out, Rachel wrapped up her phone call with Kurt, and cried for an hour straight. She really needed _him_ right now.

* * *

"I'm home, Finn!" called out a voice from the kitchen of the apartment. Finn heard car keys drop on the kitchen bench and he rushed out of the bedroom. He wrapped his arms around Quinn's waist and pulled her in for a lingering kiss.

"I missed you, baby," he said, running his hands up and down her back.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and raised an eyebrow, like she always did. She didn't answer, instead she kissed him, and their lips stayed locked together until the phone rang and Finn groaned. Quinn laughed, "Answer it, I'll be right back."

Finn rolled his eyes before answering the phone. "This better be good," he said bluntly when he saw who was call.

"That's no way to talk to your brother, Finn! Just because you and Quinn were making out _just_ as I decided to call, doesn't mean you should speak to me like that," he could basically see Kurt's scolding face.

"Okay, okay. What's up?"

"I just wanted to tell you... I spoke to Rachel today," said Kurt slowly.

Finn felt the phone slip from his grasp and crash on the kitchen tiles. He quickly picked it up, pretending nothing happened. "O-Oh." Shit, he was stuttering.

"It's okay, Finn. I just wanted to tell you she landed a part in her first off-Broadway production..." Kurt replied. It was funny how the conversation changed dramatically when his ex was mentioned.

Finn's heart swelled with pride. He knew she could do it. "Oh, really? Wow, that's incredible, Kurt!"

Kurt cut him off, "You should call her, Finn."

Finn knew Kurt was right. He really wanted to congratulate her, but it didn't seem right over the phone.

"Yeah... I think I will," he lied; he was just trying to get rid of Kurt now.

"Okay, I'll let you go." _Damn Kurt and his sixth sense. He knows everything._ "I'll call you soon, Finn."

"See ya, man."

Finn rolled his eyes when he swore he could hear "Boys" come from the other end of the line.

Kurt's life had changed so much since he left high school. As soon as graduation was over, he too left for New York. But right now he was on a trip around Europe with Blaine. Yes, Blaine Anderson. They had gotten together at the end of sophomore year and had been together ever since. They really were perfect. They hardly ever fought and they agreed on everything. Finn was sort of jealous of what they had. He loved Quinn, but he knew it wasn't the same love as he felt for her back in high school. He couldn't really explain it. They're _living_ together. That's gotta mean something, right?

Quinn had gone outside when the phone rang and hadn't returned yet. He realised he still had his 'Rachel' box in the bedroom. He rushed in there and hid it in his sock draw. He knew Quinn wouldn't dare look in there. He sat down on the bed and sighed.

That was when he decided, right there and then, that he _needed_ to see her. He'd been suffering for too long and he couldn't go another day without her.


	2. Chapter 2

As soon as Quinn had left for work the next morning at the hospital, Finn went online straight away and bought himself a plane ticket to New York. He had no idea where she was living or anything. Kurt would probably know though. He'd call him when he got there. He was incredibly excited at the prospect of being able to see Rachel again. But he was also very worried, what if she didn't want to see him? He shook his head at the thought. No, they were friends... she'd want to see an old friend, right?

He knew doing this would probably ruin his relationship with Quinn. She didn't know about the plane ticket. He was about to go off to New York without telling her. He wanted to tell her. She just wouldn't take it well. What was he going to say? That his ex girlfriend has been on his mind for weeks now and he is now going to fly to New York City to see her? It was probably the worst thing to do right now, especially when his relationship with Quinn was already on the rocks. But Rachel was worth it. He had no idea why, but somehow she was worth everything to him.

He arrived at the airport a couple of hours early to catch his 6pm flight. He had left a note at home for Quinn. Not his best idea. He turned his iPhone off quickly. She would be home soon and the last thing he needed was angry phone calls from her. He sat in the waiting lounge for the longest hour of his life. Rachel was on his mind the entire time, naturally. He thought about how they first met properly. He chuckled lightly at the thought. It was his first ever Glee Club rehearsal in sophomore year and they had to sing 'You're the One That I Want'. Finn remembered staring at her wide-eyed because he thought she was some sort of crazy person. But he also remembered _feeling_ it. He knew they had musical chemistry from day one.

Finn had stopped singing a long time ago. It hurt too much. He knew Rachel would be singing all her life and was destined for greater things than being stuck like he was as a Lima loser. He smiled. She always believed he would get out of there, go to college, and find his dream job. He loved that she was really the only one that believed in him.

When he finally boarded, he took his seat and turned his phone on to check it one last time. He didn't have any missed calls or messages. But Finn knew she definitely must be home by now. He frowned. She didn't care. She really didn't care that he had just up and left to New York. He turned his phone off angrily and sat back in his seat as the plane began to ascend. The flight wasn't long at all, although Finn slept most of the way. It was well and truly dark when he landed at the airport. He quickly hailed a cab which drove him straight to the hotel he was staying in. He was amazed as he drove through the city. The _lights._ He could definitely see the appeal. No wonder Rachel wanted to get out of cow town Lima to move here. It was incredible. He finally got to his hotel, checked in and decided he needed sleep, tomorrow was when he was going to start looking for Rachel.

* * *

Rachel's first rehearsal was in the following few days. They had had group meetings and costume fittings but they hadn't rehearsed the real thing yet. Rachel was nervous and excited. She couldn't wait to be on that stage. It's where she belonged. But she was also incredibly self-conscious, she always wondered what would happen if she couldn't sing, or her acting abilities were horrible. She always thought she'd be nothing without her voice, but Finn had always told her differently. He had always told her he'd still love her without her voice. He had also said Jesse wouldn't stick around if she had lost that. She thought about that for a second, was that really true?

She really had no idea why Finn was on her mind so much lately. Before a couple of weeks ago, Finn would've been the _last_ thing on her mind with the engagement and all these auditions. But all these experiences just made her want her best friend around more. She just really missed him, and she wouldn't get the opportunity to see him again. He wouldn't want to see her after what she did to him.

"Come on, Rach, I'll drive you to rehearsals," said Jesse, walking out of the bedroom.

Rachel was just staring blankly at the wall, lost in her thoughts of Finn.

"Uh, Rachel?" he called a little louder.

"Oh, yes thank you Jesse..." she said, shaking her head and standing up to get her things.

"Is something wrong, Rach?" Jesse asked, wrapping his arm around her waist.

She leaned into him, "No... I'm just," she smiled. "I'm really excited about this."

"I'm excited for you, babe," he grinned his signature Jesse St. James grin and took her hand.

They walked downstairs to the car in silence. Rachel knew she really shouldn't lie to him. But what was she going to say? That suddenly her ex boyfriend and first love was always on her mind? Jesse didn't like Finn, and whenever he was mentioned when they were first going out, he would start yelling and Rachel really didn't need an argument from him. Not now, not ever. She knew Finn had beaten him to her heart once; and she knew he didn't want him to do it again.

* * *

Finn had no luck in the next couple of days looking for Rachel. He called Kurt and he went on for ages about how excited he was for them to see each other again. Kurt gave him the address but he still couldn't find it. He really was useless that way. He was beginning to get frustrated when he began to ask around. People had no idea who she was. Of course, the show hadn't had its opening night yet and this was her first show – people wouldn't know who she was yet.

Kurt had also given him a phone number, which he tried a few times but there was no answer. He waited until night before calling it again. He was very surprised when a male answered the phone.

"Hello?" asked the voice, it sounded so familiar to Finn.

"Uh, hi..." he said slowly, very confused. "Is Rachel Berry there?" Just saying her name made his heart beat faster.

"Yeah she sure is, hold on," said the guy and Finn could hear on the other end of the line, "Babe, it's for you."

Finn's eyes widened, she was seeing someone. His heart dropped down to his stomach. He felt physically sick. He had to sit down on the nearest bench to stop himself from falling over. And then Rachel's voice broke through his thoughts, "Hello? Who's this?"

Finn stayed silent. It was like he was frozen. He wanted to say something but it physically wouldn't come out of his mouth. So instead, he hung up.

* * *

"They hung up," Rachel said, frowning as she stared at the phone in her hands.

"Hit redial, Rach," called Jesse from the couch.

Rachel shrugged, it was worth a try. She hit the redial button and waited for a second, before realising the phone was off. It went straight to voicemail. "Hey this is Finn Hudson. Sorry I missed your call, but leave a message and I'll get back to you."

Rachel's eyes widened, "Oh my God." It was _Finn_ that called? "Jesse! What did the guy sound like, was he familiar?" she asked hurriedly.

"Hmm now that you mention it, he did sound kind of familiar..." Jesse said in deep thought. "Why? Who was it, Rach?"

She decided she wouldn't say anything to him yet. She didn't want to freak him out. "Oh, the phone was off... I just wanted to know if you knew who it was, that's all," she lied coolly. Being an actress had its perks.

Jesse didn't look convinced but he didn't press the matter. His attention went straight back to the TV. Rachel stood there for a minute, shocked, the phone still in her hands. She quickly grabbed her purse. "I'm going out for a bit, okay?" She walked over to Jesse and kissed his cheek.

"Okay, Rach, be careful, alright?" he asked. He always said that when she was going out by herself. She smiled at how protective he was, but not too overprotective.

She nodded hastily and hurried out the door, downstairs and out to the street. She took her cell phone out of her pocket and scrolled down her numbers to Carole Hummel. She dialled the number and she answered quickly.

"Carole! It's Rachel..." she heard an excited gasp from the other end of the line. She smiled, she loved Finn's mom.

"Oh Rachel! We haven't spoken in so long! How are you? Kurt told me the news that's so amazing!" she gushed like she was her own mother.

Rachel chuckled in response, "Yes, it's incredible so far... I have something to ask you..."

"Oh, what is it, honey?" She remembered how Finn would grumble whenever his mom called him honey.

"How is Finn?"

"Huh?" she sounded confused. "I thought you would know, dear, he is in New York looking for you after all."

"He's _where?_" Rachel asked incredulously. No. He couldn't be in New York. There's no way.

"Oh, he must not have caught up with you yet. He came to see you. He's missed you a lot, you know."

"I think he tried to call me but..." Oh no. Jesse answered the phone. He hung up because he found out I was seeing someone! "Umm thank you, Carole, but I'm sorry, I've got to go."

"Okay, dear, promise we'll talk soon!" she laughed.

"Definitely," she laughed as well.

"Bye!"

"Bye," she smiled and hung up the phone.

Finn was in New York City looking for _her?_ Her heart pounded just thinking about it. Jesse would have to know soon... and when she met with Finn he'd have to know that she and Jesse were getting _married._ She put her head in her hands. This wasn't going to end well for either guy, let alone her. She really didn't want to hurt Finn. Despite everything, she still loved him. She always would, she had decided a long time ago. But her and Jesse... there was just something about him. Maybe it was because they had so much in common, that he was just a male version of her. She chuckled softly at the thought.

She shook her head before heading back upstairs to her apartment. She had to meet up with Finn. She needed to. She needed him.

* * *

As soon as Finn got back to his hotel room after his phone call to Rachel, he slammed the door and threw his phone across the room. It hit the wall and fell to the ground, the back of the phone falling off. It was like déjà vu. Only a few days ago, he had thrown his Rachel box across the room in the same anger.

He had come _all the way_ to New York to discover she was with someone else. So much for his plan of professing his love to her... He growled angrily. Who did that guy think he was anyway? God, but he sounded so damn familiar though. He wanted to find out who he was and give him a piece of his mind. Wait a second, what was he thinking? He put his head in his hands. "She's not yours anymore, Hudson," he muttered to himself. He straightened up. It didn't matter, he had Quinn... right?

But he had a feeling after rushing off to New York without anything more than a note he wouldn't have Quinn for much longer.

He hated to admit it, but he had a feeling that he was just _settling_ for Quinn, even though they were only dating at the moment. He loved Rachel. He always would. That feeling would never go away and Finn didn't think the girl he was dating would appreciate the fact that he was still in love with his ex. He loved Quinn, but not the way he loved Rachel. He and Rachel shared something that neither of them would share with anyone else.

Finn smirked at that, he knew that whatever Rachel and this guy had was nothing compared to what they had... and still have at this very moment.

He was going to find her and he was going to tell her how he felt, no matter what it cost him.


	3. Chapter 3

Finn was so determined now. Not just to see Rachel, but to find out who that damn guy was. He sounded so familiar and it had been bugging Finn for three days trying to figure out whose voice it was. A good thing had happened in the past few days though, Kurt had called again as he had found out the address of the theatre Rachel rehearsed at every day.

He had to hold the phone tightly to stop it from falling out of his hands like last time when he told him big news.

"I can't believe this Kurt! You're the best," Finn had replied to him when Kurt told him the address.

"Yeah, yeah I know. Tell her I said hi," Finn could practically see Kurt's grin on the other end of the line.

The line then went dead and Finn still clutched his phone tightly. Did this mean he was finally going to see her? He suddenly felt sick to the stomach. She had hurt him. So much. She left with him with nothing more than a letter and he hadn't seen her for three years. _Three years._ In senior year, never in his wildest dreams would he think he'd be able to survive that long without her in his life. Well, he was barely surviving now. She was on his mind 24/7 and sometimes he got so frustrated at it. They needed to fix things, and seeing her was the only way he could do that.

He decided he wouldn't go to the address just yet. He needed at least a day to prepare himself.

* * *

Rachel was on edge the entire day. The day before she had found out that her ex boyfriend, who she still cared for deeply, was in the city looking for _her._ What did he want? She really had no clue. The only way to find out though was to see him and Rachel didn't know if she was up to it. Little did she know that Finn was going to take her by surprise at rehearsal the next day.

Rachel had realised by this point that she had to tell Jesse what was going on. She had to tell him that she was going to eventually meet up with Finn. She was scared though. She had seen Jesse get angry over Finn before and the last thing she wanted was to make Jesse mad. But she still did it, and he didn't take it well at all.

"Jesse?" she asked cautiously, moving slowly over to the couch where he was reading.

"Hm?" he asked, looking up at her and instantly seeing the worry on her face. "What's up babe?"

"I need to tell you something," she said, sitting down quickly, twisting her fingers around in her lap.

He suddenly sat upright, a lot more interested this time. Concern was written all over his face. "What...?"

"It's Finn."

Rachel could notice Jesse's fists clench at the name. Oh, this wasn't going to end well.

"He's... he's in town, Jesse," she bit her lip, awaiting his reaction.

"What?" he yelled. Jesse was never one to bottle up his emotions. He always let them out straight away.

"And I'm going to meet with him," Rachel said firmly, ignoring his outburst. She was gaining confidence now.

"No, you aren't," said Jesse, shaking his head. "I forbid it."

Rachel rolled her eyes, "You can't tell me what to do, Jesse, you're not my mother." She instantly regret saying that, bringing up her mother, and in front of _Jesse_ was definitely going to cause some problems.

Just like Finn, Rachel hadn't seen or spoken to her mother since senior year. She lived in New York but when Rachel moved there she was always too afraid to get in contact with her. Jesse still had her number and always encouraged her to give her a call, especially for the wedding, but she kept putting it off, saying it wasn't the right time. She had dropped by McKinley in senior year to say goodbye to Rachel before she left for New York, with 18 month old Beth toddling along beside her. She was the spitting image of Quinn, but she had Noah's eyes. She really was her mother's daughter. Rachel could tell she would end up just like Quinn one day.

"No," Jesse snapped her out of it. "I'm not your mother but I know your mother would say that this is not a good idea! He broke your heart!"

That wasn't entirely true. She had left Ohio for New York and not told Finn. But she left because he was beginning to get closer to Quinn again. And last time they got closer, Quinn ended up cheating on her boyfriend Sam and her and Finn had a secret relationship. She was afraid. Afraid that he would choose Quinn over her again. What she wrote in the letter, about Finn holding her back wasn't true. At all. It was a cover up.

She always dreamed about Finn being at every one of her Broadway shows, in the front row. She even imagined their children sitting next to him, cheering her name. She dreamt about it all through high school, but then the reality came crashing down that that was _her_ fantasy. Finn might not have wanted that at all. So she took the easy option. Instead of staying to work out things with Finn, she left, telling him a complete lie in the process.

"No... I broke his and..." she didn't know if she should even be _thinking_ about what she was going to say next. "I miss him, Jesse. So much." That last sentence came out in only a whisper.

"Fine," Jesse said, standing up from the couch and grabbing his car keys. "Just don't expect me to be here when you get back." He made his way to the door and slammed it roughly.

"Jesse!" Rachel yelled, exhausted from arguing. She didn't bother going after him. She knew Jesse. In the middle of the night he would come back after a few drinks and crawl into bed next to her, almost begging for her forgiveness. One look at his gorgeous face and she would cave every time. This time she wasn't so sure. This was about Finn. She wasn't giving up on fixing things with him.

* * *

It was getting late, not really, it was only 8pm. It just felt late because Finn had been checking his watch every minute for the past half hour waiting. He was outside the theatre where Rachel rehearsed every day. It was also freezing. Finn was always warm, but tonight was almost icy. He was in the alleyway near the car park. It wasn't the safest place to be, especially in this part of the city, but he knew he would be able to handle things fine if something happened. He was waiting there because he could unmistakeably recognise Rachel's car in the parking lot. He shivered and pushed his hands deeper into his jean pockets as he waited.

Suddenly, the door at the other end of the alley opened and out walked a small figure in a hoodie and tights carrying a large bag over their shoulder. Finn swallowed the lump that was forming in his throat. That was definitely Rachel.

* * *

Rachel would never admit this to Jesse, but she really did get scared walking the short distance in the alley to the parking lot. If she did admit this to him, he'd want to be with her every second with his arm wrapped around her, not letting her go. She scowled into the darkness, she was still mad at him. She shoved her hands in her hoodie pockets in an attempt to keep warm in the chilly air. She pushed the door open with her arm and stepped out into the alleyway. She looked from left to right before pulling her bag closer to her and walking at a fast pace towards the parking lot. That was when she heard the voice. His voice.

"You know you really shouldn't be out here by yourself at this time."

She could practically _see_ the smirk he was sporting even though the voice had come from behind her. She bit her lip. She knew she would have to see him sometime but she didn't know the tears would be coming as early as they did. She stopped in her tracks, twisting her fingers together in her hoodie pocket.

"Oh my God," she whispered through the tears that were now freely falling from her face. Without even looking at if it really was him she dropped her bag to the ground and threw herself at him. She knew as soon as his strong arms caught her in a hug that it was him.

* * *

She had managed to jump in Finn's arms with her arms wrapped securely around his neck. His arms were tightly wrapped around her tiny body, lifting her off the ground. He buried his face in her hair and breathed in her scent. He smiled against her hair, after three years she still used the same shampoo. Finn at first didn't notice that the tiny body in his arms was trembling and sobbing. He could feel his shirt becoming damp from her tears as she buried her face in his neck.

It was silent for a few minutes besides Rachel's subsiding sobs. When she had completely stopped crying, he gently let her feet touch the ground again, keeping his hand at her waist. He looked into her eyes. Fresh tears were making their way down her cheeks. His hand immediately went to her cheek to wipe them away with his thumb.

"Hey," he said, pulling her close again.

"Finn..." she whispered, letting her head rest against his chest. "Is this really you? Are you really here? Kurt told me you were in town..." It was like the past few weeks of wishing he was here with her had finally paid off.

"Yeah, Rach, I'm here... looking for you actually," his jaw clenched. Yeah, he was looking for her, until he found out that she was seeing someone. "I-I wanted to see how you were doing... without me."

"Finn..." she said seriously, looking up at him. "Can we not do this tonight? I'm exhausted from rehearsals and this is a conversation better left for a day when I have all my energy..."

"Are you saying you want to see me again?" Finn asked.

She let go of him and went to pick up her bag she had dropped a few metres away. Of course she wanted to see him again; she'd only been missing him for three years. She still couldn't believe he was here. It felt like a dream. "Meet me at the cafe at the end of this street at 1pm tomorrow... please?" she asked. That last word sounded so weak. She really was tired.

"Of course, Rachel..." he said softly.

"Thank you, Finn..." she whispered before turning and hurrying towards her car in the parking lot, trying to hide the tears that had begun to fall from her face again.


	4. Chapter 4

Rachel had gone back to the apartment and realised that Jesse wasn't there. She didn't care right now. He was probably out drinking with friends and she really wanted to be alone right now. She couldn't get over it. _He_ was here. _He_ was here in New York City looking for her and she _saw_ him! It felt like a dream. Even an hour later, curled up in bed, watching it lightly drizzle out the window, she still couldn't get over the fact that _Finn Hudson_ had just been standing in front of her after three years of being apart.

What really worried her was that when she saw his face, she knew that all those feelings were _still_ there. And she was engaged to another guy... She knew this wasn't going to end well.

She cried herself to sleep. She had broken his heart, and he was such a good guy. It was obvious he wanted to fix things, or possibly even wanted to be with her. But she couldn't. She had a fiancé and it upset her to think that she and Finn will never share anything special ever again. She didn't even wake up when Jesse stumbled drunkenly into the bedroom and curled up next to her without even getting changed.

It didn't matter though; her dreams were all full of Finn.

* * *

Finn didn't feel like getting out of bed the next morning. He felt terrible. She didn't look happy to see him at all. He became frustrated for a second; _she_ was the one that broke _his_ heart. If anything, he was the only one who had the right to be unhappy by their reunion. He shook off the feeling when he realised he was meeting her at the cafe today at one.

He decided to get there early, drumming his fingers on the table as he thought of things to say to her when she arrived.

They had only hugged last night, but Finn could tell how intense it was and he could feel that spark when they touched. The little things like that were the things he missed the most about being with her. He was glad that feeling was still there, and he knew it would _always_ be there. He smiled sadly. He knew he wouldn't be able to have that with Rachel. At least not right now anyway. He was staring down at his hands, fumbling with them on the table top when someone approached him slowly.

"Hello Finn."

Finn jumped, startled. "Crap, you scared me..." he mumbled, slowly raising his head to look at the tiny figure in front of him.

"I'm sorry..." Rachel replied, faking sincerity, a small smile playing on her lips.

He rolled his eyes as she pulled out her chair and took a seat across the table from him.

"So..." he breathed, looking in her eyes. "Hey."

* * *

Rachel let out a breath she didn't know she was holding in. She was finally looking into the eyes of Finn Hudson. And all the feelings she was having weren't helping at all. She had to keep reminding herself that she was getting _married_ this summer. To Jesse. The boy that Finn hated all through high school and knew he still despised now. Rachel just wanted one day that was just about her and Finn. Then she would tell him.

"Hey, Finn..." she whispered, tears forming in her eyes. She still missed him, even though he was sitting right in front of her. Already it felt like he was too far away. "I'm sorry," she chuckled weakly, wiping her eyes.

He smiled apologetically at her. He didn't say anything; he just reached across the table and placed his hand over hers. She wrapped her hand around his, giving it a squeeze.

He has said less than three words to her, but his eyes were telling her everything. She got a sudden urge to leap into his arms and just _kiss_ him, but she bit her lip to stop herself from doing anything. _I'm getting married. I'm getting married. I'm getting married._ She repeated the words in her head to make sure she remembered it was real.

Finn chuckled suddenly, rubbing his hand up and down the back of his neck. "Is this too weird for you? 'Cause I can go..."

"No!" she jumped up quickly, holding onto his hand tightly between both of hers. "Stop. No. I-It's not weird. At all. I'm just..." she gripped his hand tightly, moving around to his side of the table. She pulled up a chair, sitting in front of him. "I'm _so_ happy to see you, Finn. I-I can't believe you're actually here," she stuttered out quietly, squeezing his hand as hard as she could.

"I missed you," was all he said. "So much," he whispered, looking directly into her eyes.

"God, Finn... I missed you too."

"Really?" he asked, looking into her eyes hopefully. God, those _eyes_. Rachel definitely missed his eyes. She was able to get lost in the warm colour so easily. "Because it doesn't seem like you did. Especially after... Especially after you left me like you did." Rachel could tell he was gaining confidence now – able to speak his mind. He was getting straight to the point, and so was she. Neither of them wanted to spend another moment apart.

"Finn... you have no idea how incredibly so-"

"Save it," he interjected, shifting his chair so it wasn't completely facing her anymore.

"Finn –" Rachel began, grabbing his forearm.

He roughly pulled his arm away from her grip. "Stop." He looked at her out of the corner of his eye. She looked hurt. And Finn knew he couldn't stand seeing her hurt – especially after all these years of them being apart. "You can't apologize to me. It won't work."

"Why not? That's not fair!" she yelled, tears springing in her eyes.

"Because you tore my heart apart, okay?" he yelled, rising from his seat. He didn't mean to raise his voice at her. But she needed to know the truth. He _wasn't _okay when she left. He was a complete and utter mess and she needed to know that he wasn't just going to forgive her that easy. But his heart was aching, and he didn't know how much longer he could keep this up. "I'm sorry, Rachel... Maybe I should go."

He gave her one last look of pure _pain_ and hurried down the stairs, exiting the empty cafe and beginning to walk quickly down the street.

"Finn!" she pleaded, going after him. It was ironic, just a couple of days ago when Rachel told Jesse she was going to see Finn and he stormed out, she didn't go after him. She didn't even go after her own fiancée. And now she was going after Finn Hudson, the boy she hadn't seen for three years. "Please! Stop!"

* * *

He stopped when he heard her pleading voice. Some things never change. He still couldn't resist her voice. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, turning around to face her. She was standing a good few metres away, tears running down her face and he knew, in that one moment, that he forgave her. There was no way in hell he could stay mad at her, especially with an expression like _that_. Her wide brown eyes were staring into his deeply, and her lips turned into a cute pout, which Finn really wished he didn't notice.

"Finn, _please_. I didn't want to leave you! God, it was the _last_ thing I would _ever _want. I just – I had to..."

"Why? Because I was bringing you down?" he yelled, throwing his hands up in the air. "I thought we were going to make it, Rachel! Everyone said we were the couple that was going to last! And then you broke up with me... for your career..." He felt his heart breaking all over again while saying those words.

"No Finn. No. You want to know why I broke up with you?" she asked, taking a step towards him. "Because of you and _Quinn Fabray_!" It was her turn to throw her hands up in the air. Finn swallowed the lump in his throat. Rachel didn't know that he was living with Quinn yet. "You two were getting closer and I was so _afraid_. I was afraid that if I asked you to move to New York with me that you'd say no... Because you were in love with her," she looked to the ground, staring at her shoes.

Finn slowly shook his head, "Rachel, no..."

"Maybe you were right," she interrupted. "Maybe we shouldn't have seen each other. It hurts too much," she whispered, quickly walking away with her face buried in her hands, bumping into a few people on her way down the street.

Finn shook his head. "Rachel!" He groaned when she walked away. It wasn't supposed to be like this, it wasn't the end. He ran after her, dodging everyone in his way before he caught up with her. She was sobbing, and he frowned. He never could handle it when she cried. He cautiously placed his hand on her shoulder.

She didn't answer, she just turned around and launched herself at him, wrapping her arms around him tightly, sobbing into his chest.

His heart broke at the sound of her crying, but he held her close, unable to think of anything to say to make her feel better. There _was_ nothing he could say. So they just stood in the middle of the sidewalk, and he held her, letting her tears soak through his shirt to his skin.

"I'm not stupid, Finn Hudson," she said quietly, when her sobs subsided.

"I-I never said –"

"You're with her... aren't you?" she asked calmly, looking up at his face with wide eyes. He knew the answer would break her heart. "You're with Quinn. Kurt told me you guys moved in together." She let go of him and took a step back. "I was right, wasn't I? As soon as I left you got with her." She put her head in her hands and began to cry again.

Finn took a step towards her, his arm outstretched ready to comfort her. That wasn't exactly the truth. He didn't know where exactly he and Quinn were headed but he thought him running away to New York with no warning meant they were over.

"Don't." She took another step away from him. She suddenly looked deep in thought. "Quinn is actually _okay_ with you being here looking for me?"

"I don't know... I just kind of _left_. It was all last-minute." He looked down. How is it possible that he ruins every single relationship in his life?

"Oh, Finn..." she whispers to him. "I'm sorry I caused that." She bit her lip, taking a step towards him. She reached out to take his hand, squeezing it tightly. "I missed you," she tried again, looking directly into his eyes – into his soul.

Before both of them knew it, they were in each other's arms again, just like the night before. He held her in the same intense way he did last night. "I know, baby," he whispered into her hair, breathing in one of his favourite scents.

Finn felt as though a big weight had been lifted off his shoulders, Rachel knew about Quinn, and how their relationship could possibly be over. He was just dreading when she decided to tell him about this mystery guy she was seeing. He wouldn't ask about it though. He would earn Rachel's trust, be the friend she needs (for now) and let her come to him.

* * *

The bad thing was: she still _loved_ it when he called her baby. Whenever he did, she got the sudden urge to kiss him, and she almost did. She tightened her grip around his middle to stop herself from doing anything stupid.

"I missed you too," he breathed.

She shivered at the feeling of his breath in her hair. She shook the feeling off quickly, not wanting to make this an anymore difficult situation than it already was. She let go of him and grabbed his hand automatically. "Come on. You can walk me to rehearsals, we can get coffee on the way," she smiled, trying to lighten the mood a little bit.

He smiled. She was definitely still the Rachel he knew, _and loved._ They began to walk down the street together; her tiny hand enveloped in his giant one like neither of them had a care in the world. She smiled up at him and leaned into his side. Yeah, things were pretty perfect between them. That was, until she had to tell him about Jesse. She wanted to put it off for as long as possible – knowing he'd be really mad when he found out she was marrying the jerk who egged her in sophomore year. He'd want to see her apartment soon though, and he would know immediately that Jesse was living there. The right thing to do would to be to tell him everything. But she had only just gotten him back; she didn't want to lose him again.

The other problem was all these emerging feelings she was having. Feelings she hadn't felt in a _very_ long time. It worried her. Not only because she shouldn't be having feelings for someone who isn't her fiancée, but because the way she feels about Jesse is nothing compared to what she feels for Finn.

It was like déjà vu – stuck between two boys again, just like high school.

And we all know how it turned out last time.

* * *

**Please review! :)**


	5. Chapter 5

After they had gotten coffee, it had finally hit Finn; he hadn't even congratulated Rachel on making it on her first off-Broadway production.

"You're amazing, you know," he said suddenly after a few minutes of silence, throwing his empty coffee cup in the nearest garbage bin.

She turned to look at him with wide eyes. "What...?"

"I knew you'd make it here, Rachel. And Broadway, that's just the next step," he said, squeezing her hand tightly. "You're incredible, Rachel... and one day you're going to be on stage in front of thousands, belting out some amazing song by Barbra," he chuckled. "Or even a song you wrote yourself. I'm just – I'm _so_ proud of you..." he admitted. "I knew you could do it. I always believed in you."

He finally looked over to her to see tears running down her face, a watery smile appearing on the corners of her mouth. "Finn..." she whispered, turning to face him. She placed her hand on his chest, gripping his shirt tightly. He instinctively wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close to him. "Thank you," she whispered, leaning up on her toes to press her lips softly to his cheek.

He smiled and closed his eyes, savouring the feeling of her lips on his skin. When she pulled away he rested his forehead on hers, and the overwhelming urge to kiss her suddenly took over. But he couldn't. She was seeing someone and the last thing he needed was for her to be angry at him.

She cleared her throat and pulled away slightly, she couldn't get caught up in her feelings for him. Not now. "I really wanted you there you know... When I found out about the show," she said softly, smiling up at him. "I always imagined you being the one standing next to me when I received the phone call..." she said quietly with a shrug of her shoulders.

"I'm here now, and I'm not going anywhere."

"I know."

* * *

Her heart went into overdrive when he said he wasn't going anywhere. She felt like that was all she needed to hear for the rest of her life. But it also scared her. If he wasn't going anywhere, that means he'd move here, and as exciting as the prospect sounded, she couldn't help but think of the complicated love triangle that could form out of this. She shook the thoughts out of her head. All that mattered right now was repairing her friendship with Finn. Ultimately, that was what meant the most to her.

When they finally arrived at the theatre she rehearsed at, Finn definitely wasn't looking forward to letting her go. He had basically just found her; he wanted to spend as much time with her as he could. When she let go of his hand, she turned to face him before wrapping her arms around his neck. "Thank you for this, Finn. You'll call me... right?" she asked with pleading eyes.

"Of course," he replied. There was no doubt he'd be calling her. He actually had an idea that he wanted to try out.

She smiled widely, before leaning up to kiss his cheek again quickly. He would never, _ever_ get tired of that. She then disappeared in the front door of the studio, leaving him standing there in a daze. He smiled to himself as he began to walk back down the street towards the cafe they were supposed to meet at originally. The fact that him and Rachel were getting along so well after not seeing each other for three years was astounding to Finn. It frightened him slightly though, the way he just wanted to take her in his arms and just _kiss_ her. He knew he couldn't, he knew he shouldn't even be thinking of any type of relationship with her besides friendship. But he couldn't help it. That overwhelming love he felt when he was a lovesick teenager? He still felt it, _every single emotion_. He couldn't just let her go. But she was just _dating_ this guy, right? Finn thought it couldn't be _that_ serious between them.

* * *

Rachel could barely get through rehearsals without making a mistake every ten minutes. Finn was on her mind the entire time and she kept messing up, causing her choreographer to go off at her a few times. She just wanted to be with him again. Walking down the street hand-in-hand brought her back to high school and she missed it immensely. Everything had become so much more complicated, but at the same time so much _better_ since Finn had found his way back into her life. She smiled, hoping she would be receiving a phone call from a certain boy later...

As she left rehearsals, as if he knew her schedule back-to-front, her prayers were answered. Her phone began buzzing, the intro to 'Faithfully' blaring from inside her bag. She had changed her ringtone to _their song_ this morning. She decided to keep it like that all day, because she knew she would have to change her ringtone when she got home. Even Jesse knew that song meant a great deal to the both of them. He watched their performance at Regionals all the way back in sophomore year; he saw their chemistry on stage.

Rachel let her phone ring for a while, humming along to the tune of what always secretly will be her favourite song. She smirked, realising she was making him wait. She finally pulled the phone out of her bag and she smiled when she saw the picture of the two of them that flashed up on the screen. She had so many pictures on her phone of the two of them from high school and she had never deleted one. This particular one was of the two of them at Burt and Carole's wedding. He had his arms around her waist and she had her hands on his chest and they were staring blissfully into each other's eyes without a care in the world. Rachel smiled, remembering Kurt's face when he snapped the candid, telling them to stop looking so in love with each other because the day wasn't about them.

She finally answered the phone, thinking she had made him suffer enough. "Well hello, Mr Hudson," she said with a smirk, although he couldn't see. "What can I do for you?"

"Hey Rach! I'm glad I caught you, I thought you might still be in rehearsals but I don't know your schedule or if you go out with your cast mates after, I just decided to call and see –"

"Finn!" she said with a laugh, deciding to sit in her car to escape the cool outside air. "Take a breath!"

"I'm sorry," he apologized. "I think I'm just nervous."

"Finn, it's me. What have you got to be nervous about?" she asked with a light chuckle. Truth was, there were plenty of things to be nervous about with them.

"I was wondering if you wanted to go out tonight," he blurted out quickly. Rachel wasn't really surprised, Finn was known for blurting out things he wasn't supposed to say.

Rachel felt her heart stop in her chest. Was he asking her out? Like on a _date_? She thought he knew already that he was seeing someone. She sighed heavily as she thought about it. She wanted to. She _really _did. And she knew that what she was going to say next would make things infinitely more complicated.

"I'd love to, Finn..." she said softly. "On one condition."

* * *

"One one condition." Her voice suddenly becoming serious. Finn was hardly paying attention, he only cared about the fact that she said yes in the first place. He finally remembered what she said, and he didn't like her tone. Something was up.

"Uh... yeah?" he asked, unsure of what she wanted from him.

"I... I want you to move here, Finn. To New York."

The silence on the other end of the line scared Rachel a little bit, but Finn was stunned into silence. He couldn't believe this. Was this really what she wanted? Her ex living in the same city, hanging out with her, being around her all the time? What would the guy she was dating think? Who cares! There was no way he was turning this down.

"I- Really?" he asked, mentally kicking himself. He sounded so stupid around her.

"Yes..." she replied quietly. "I want you here with me, Finn."

God damn he wished she was telling him this in person right now. He would've pulled her into his arms and kissed her until neither of them could breathe. Okay... maybe it was better this way. But he really couldn't believe his ears.

"W-With you?"

"With _me_."

"I'd love to, Rachel," he said slowly, a small smile breaking out on his face. "I-I mean it would take a few weeks to get everything organised and then I'd have to find a place to live but..."

He could hear a squeal on the other end of the line. "Oh my God, Finn! I am so excited! We're going apartment hunting as soon as we can! And it has to be close to my apartment or else! We need to find you a job!" she gasped. "You have no idea how much this means to me, Finn. Thank you so much!"

"Wait."

* * *

One word. Just one word makes her drop her excitement like a hot potato. She knew this would be too good to be true!

"What about Quinn?"

Well, she definitely didn't expect that.

"What about Quinn...?" she asked. She really couldn't care less about Quinn, to be perfectly honest.

"Well, I don't even know if we're broken up yet, I haven't spoken to her at all..." he replied slowly.

"Oh."

"I'm sorry, Rachel... but I'll have to go back and figure out what's going on with her before I make any rash decisions," he said firmly.

"Wow, Finn..." Rachel had to admit she was impressed by the maturity Finn was sporting lately. "You've grown up."

She could practically see his smile on the other end of the line. "Thank you, Rachel... So, I guess since I didn't agree to your condition, you won't want to go out tonight?" Disappointment coated his voice.

"Oh, Finn... As if I'd ever turn down a night out with you," she smiled, knowing completely that he knew that she meant every word.

"Awesome. So there's this place..."

"Finn, just pick me up at the cafe we met at this morning. Surprise me," she whispered the last sentence, surprising herself at the amount of seduction in her voice.

What was she doing? She had a fiancée. A fiancée, mind you, which she hasn't spent time with properly in a week. It had been all about Finn since she had found out he was here looking for her. She couldn't explain the feelings she was having right now, but she knew she needed him. And if going out with him tonight would keep him with her for longer, then that's all that mattered to her.

* * *

**A/N: This one is sort of a filler, not much is really happening at the moment. But I've already got Chapter 6, which is the date night ;), ready to be posted so I'll fix that and it will be up in a couple of days :)**

**Please review!**


	6. Chapter 6

As soon as Rachel opened the door to her apartment, it all came crashing down on her. She had just asked _Finn Hudson_ to move to New York City to be closer to her! Now he _had_ to know about Jesse. There was no way she would be able to keep that from him if he's _moving_ there. She shook off the feeling. She would tell him. Tonight. But not straight away. She at least wanted to enjoy the time she had with Finn before he'd hate her forever.

She spent hours getting ready for the night ahead. She wanted to look perfect for Finn, even though this was nowhere near a date. Well, at least that's what she continually told herself. She slipped into a short blue dress which showed off her perfect legs and applied light makeup. She remembered Finn never really liked too much makeup when they were dating. She hoped that hadn't changed.

She had no idea why she was so worried about her appearance tonight. It was just Finn.

Yeah. _Finn_. The boy who was constantly on her mind day in and day out.

They were two friends going out for one night. That's it. But even Rachel knew deep down that it was something more than that.

She was glad Jesse wasn't home. He had left a note in the kitchen saying he went out to dinner with some of his work mates. Which roughly translates to 'I'll be out all night and I'll wake up on my friend's couch hung over in the morning'. Rachel rolled her eyes thinking about it. But she was glad he wasn't here. She really didn't feel like convincing him (or herself) that her and Finn were just friends.

Before leaving, she reluctantly slipped off her engagement ring, placing it on her dresser. She was surprised Finn hadn't noticed it yet. But then again, she wouldn't have noticed it either; she was too transfixed on him. She felt terrible for taking off the ring, but Jesse wouldn't know. And it was only for one night...

When she arrived at the cafe, Finn was already there waiting for her. Rachel took in his appearance and tried to hide her giggle. She knew he hated wearing button downs and he always did it 'just for her'. But he looked great. She tried to ignore the fact that she could see his muscles through his shirt. He'd definitely been working out back in Lima. A small smile crept up on her face as she slowly wrapped her arms around his torso.

* * *

"Holy crap," he muttered when he saw Rachel walking up to him in the most amazing dress he had ever seen. She looked _stunning_. He couldn't stop staring at her legs. Damn, he missed those legs of hers. Scratch stunning, she was _perfect_. She had the slightest bit of makeup on and he wondered if she had done that for him. He sighed heavily, as her arms wrapped around him. When she pulled away, she looked up at him shyly.

He reached up slowly to play with her hair, which she must've curled after she had left him earlier. It fell perfectly past her shoulders. He tucked some behind her ear before leaning down to kiss her cheek. "You're beautiful," he whispered in her ear.

The feeling of his breath in her ear made her shiver. Every part of her was yelling 'no, you shouldn't be feeling like this, you're getting married'. But her heart was telling her to just let go tonight, let her feelings for Finn take over. "And you're handsome," she smiled flirtatiously and leaned up to wrap her arms around his neck, hugging him again. "Thank you for inviting me out tonight. I think this is exactly what I need."

* * *

"My pleasure," he smiled, brushing his fingers along her cheek gently, making her heart beat a million miles a minute. "Come on. You hungry?" She nodded, she purposely didn't eat anything because of tonight and rehearsals always knocked her out.

He led her to his car, opening the passenger's door for her. She smiled, memories coming back of how much of a gentleman he was. She wouldn't let anything bad come out of tonight. She would not allow it. And what Rachel Berry wants, Rachel Berry gets.

They didn't say anything in the car as Finn was driving. It was a comfortable silence, not awkward at all. Without looking over at him, Rachel reached out for his hand that was resting on the centre console. She laced her fingers with his confidently, squeezing his hand tightly. She didn't know what she was doing or what tonight meant to the both of them but she was going to make the most of it.

Finn finally pulled into the parking lot of a _very_ fancy looking restaurant.

"Finn... what is this?" she asked. It definitely looked like a place you would take someone on a date.

"I know... about the guy, Rachel..." he said quietly. His hand had pulled away from hers and was gripping the steering wheel tightly, his eyes directed straight ahead.

"Finn –" He didn't know the whole story. He didn't know it was Jesse and he didn't know they were engaged. He thought she was just dating some guy! This was turning out more complicated that she planned _already_.

"No. It's okay. I don't know what's going on with us or if you still have feelings for me or not but I know I can't give up just yet..." Rachel was about to open her mouth to object. Of course she still had feelings for him! But she didn't know whether she approved of him fighting for her _again_. "But this is just as friends. I promise. No pressure," he added with a smile.

Rachel always loved Finn's 'no pressure' approach to everything. She felt so comfortable around him. Looking at them, you wouldn't be able to tell that they were exes that hadn't spoken in three years. But you could definitely feel the tension of their feelings building up. Rachel knew one day she was going to snap and all these emotions were just going to come spilling out. And it had only been a day!

They finally got out of the car and Finn led her up to the restaurant. When everything was sorted and they were seated, Rachel took Finn's hand from across the table again. "You know..." she said quietly. "This place is kind of perfect."

"You're kind of perfect." There was a teasing tone to his voice, but his eyes looked completely serious as they gazed into hers.

"Finn..." she said slowly, pulling her hand away from his. He had revealed her knew there was a guy involved in her life. He shouldn't be doing this. He shouldn't be making her feel this way. But that was just it. She would _never_ not feel this way about him and it terrified her.

"Oh, right... _Friends_... Sorry." He said with his famous crooked smile that almost made her fall off her seat.

* * *

They looked into each other's eyes, Finn feeling intoxicated under her gaze. She made him feel dizzy, just like high school. This wasn't good. She was seeing someone and as much as he wanted to stay out of it, at the same time he wanted to know everything there was to know about this guy. Was he taller than him? He frowned suddenly and Rachel's eyes filled with confusion and questioning. He could always tell what she was thinking.

"What's wrong, Finn?" she asked right on cue but before he could answer, their waiter came along to take their orders. Rachel ordered a salad and Finn ordered pasta. When the waiter walked away, Finn kind of hoped Rachel would just drop it, but he knew her a little bit better than that. She looked at him expectantly and he sighed heavily.

"Just who _is_ this guy, Rachel?" he asked, his eyes leaving hers and becoming suddenly fascinated with the table top.

He didn't have to elaborate; she knew what he was talking about. She matched his heavy sigh with one of her own. "Finn... I'd rather not get in an argument tonight..." she said quietly.

Finn frowned. What made her think he was going to argue with her? He wanted this as much as she did. He wouldn't do anything to jeopardize their already rocky relationship.

She saw his frowned and sighed, knowing she'd have to tell him sooner or later anyway. "After dinner? I'd like to enjoy this night as much as I can before..."

She didn't have to finish her sentence. He really did always know what she was thinking. He didn't know what the big deal was. Sure, he'd be jealous but he wouldn't do anything to destroy the relationship she had with this guy. He wasn't like that. Ultimately all her cared about was her happiness, and if that didn't mean being with him, he'd accept that. As much as it hurt thinking about that... He shook the feeling away. She was here _with him_. At this fancy restaurant, eating expensive food, in her sexy dress. It was him. The boy she had fallen in love with in high school, not some rich New Yorker who she'd known for barely any time at all.

"So... we haven't really talked, you know, properly." She was opening a very sore wound and both of them knew it. "I'm sorry, we don't have to –"

"No," he stopped her. "We need to talk..."

"Well..." she began. "I meant what I said, you know, when I told you why I left Lima..."

"Because of Quinn," he supplied. He felt a pang in his chest thinking about Quinn. She still hadn't called, and it had been over a week. And he would have to go back there eventually if he was going to fix things. He was afraid to face her. But he knew that things wouldn't work out with them... especially if he was in love with someone else.

"Speaking of Quinn..." she said, as if reading his mind. "Has she –"

"No."

"Oh."

They sat in an awkward silence for a minute, neither of them wanting to bring up Quinn. The waiter came bringing them their food. Finn nodded a silent thank you as he began to stab at his pasta with his fork. It was never easy for them to talk about Quinn in high school, why would it be any different now? "Why did you never call?" he asked suddenly.

* * *

"I –" she cut herself off. There really was no good excuse as to why she never called him. All excuses in her head sounded stupid and she really hated herself for not making contact with him. All she could think of to do was apologize. "I'm sorry."

"I just want to know... please?"

His pleading tone and the way his eyes widened when he asked made it impossible for her to say no – no matter how bad the excuse was. "I was just... afraid, I guess." She knew she was making everything about Quinn but she didn't care. "I thought you'd be with Quinn... I didn't want to face the heart break."

She knew the excuse was poor but the look on his face made it look like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders, like some of the tension was gone. Finn had finished his pasta now and was pushing his bowl off to the side so he could prop his elbows up on the table. He dropped the subject of Quinn. "How was your salad?"

"Amazing. This _place_ is amazing, Finn. Thank you for bringing me here," she smiled sincerely. She was really enjoying the time she was spending with him, although a lot of it was just her heart aching.

"Any time. And I mean that." He grinned widely. "I found it while I was walking around the city the other day."

"I'll take you up on that," she gave him that seductive smile again and reached over to his hands. It's like she couldn't keep her hands off him today.

The waiter came to collect their plates and Finn paid, refusing to show Rachel the bill. She pouted; she wanted to know how much he was spending on her. But he handed it straight to the waiter with a small wink and he just laughed. They left the restaurant arm-in-arm, Rachel almost skipping along happily next to him.

"Hey Finn? Let's go to Central Park... and we can talk," she said with a sad smile. She knew Finn didn't understand why she was so reluctant to tell him about Jesse. But that was just it. It was _Jesse_. She shuddered; shaking it off thinking it was just the weather doing it to her.

He smiled at her. The park back at Lima was one of his favourite places to go when he was feeling stressed or worried, Rachel remembered. It surprised her how much of the little things she remembered about him. They made it to his car, driving in silence the entire way to the park.

"Can we sit?" she asked when they arrived. Three years in New York and still Rachel was enchanted by Central Park. A walk through it was the first thing she had done when she moved here. She literally parked the car and walked for ages around and around the park.

Finn nodded, taking her hand again as they found a park bench and sat. He had a bad feeling about what she was about to tell him.

"So... you want to know who I'm seeing..."

* * *

The way she was looking at him made him want to run and hide. One of them was going to get upset, he could tell. Whatever this was, she wasn't comfortable telling him about it, that's for sure. He found confidence when she suddenly squeezed his hand. He needed to know this if they were ever going to work out themselves. "Yes..." he nodded. "Y-You can tell me anything." He didn't _sound_ confident at all. But they needed this.

"Well... it's actually someone you know..."

No wonder she was afraid of telling him, he was freaking out already. Someone he knew? What, like from back at Lima? Finn remembered all the guys Rachel had ever come into contact with. Puck, Sam, Artie, Mike, Jacob, Karofsky... _Jesse._ Oh God, please don't let it be Jesse.

"Do you remember Jesse St. James?" she asked quietly.

Finn felt like he had been hit by a ton of bricks. _Jesse St. Fucking James. _Didn't he just say that he would rather it be _anyone_ but him? Jesse. God, he hadn't seen Jesse since just Nationals in junior year. He had come along to watch Vocal Adrenaline wipe the floor with New Directions. This didn't happen, of course. New Directions kicked Vocal Adrenaline's ass, after the club came together as a team (and after Finn and Rachel got back together). Whenever he thought of their first Nationals competition right here in New York City, he'd smile in remembrance. But right now he couldn't find a reason to smile at all. He realised he was breathing rather heavily and Rachel was looking at him, and she looked _terrified_.

"You're seeing _Jesse St. James_?" he half-yelled, turning to round on her. "Jesse St. Douche bag? The guy who _egged_ you in sophomore year? The guy who chose his _team_ over the girl he loved? And you're _dating_ him? _Again_!"

Tears sprung in her eyes suddenly, and she made no move to stop them falling down her cheeks. She let out a sob. "Please, Finn..." she whispered. "You're scaring me."

His expression immediately softened for a second at the sight of her tears and the sound of her frightened voice. He couldn't find anything to say to comfort her though. So instead he stood up and began walking away from her.

* * *

"Finn!" she panicked, running to catch up with his long strides. She wouldn't let it end like this. There was no way in hell. She grabbed his arm, forcing him to stop and look at her. He turned and she could see tears glistening in his eyes. "Oh, Finn..." she whispered, immediately reaching up to place her hand on his cheek.

"Why wasn't I good enough for you? You _leave_ me, and when I come and find you, you're with _him_."

Rachel felt her heart shattering. He was _crying_. Rachel Berry had made Finn Hudson cry. God, she remembered the millions of times she had cried over him in high school, and even in New York... but now it was her making him cry. She felt absolutely terrible. And the worst part? She didn't have the heart to tell him the entire truth. So she completely neglected that she was engaged and they were due to be married in summer. She literally _couldn't_ tell him. The way he reacted to this? Imagine how he would react to her being officially off-the-market forever. "Finn..." she whispered. "You were _perfect_ for me. You know why I left... and my suspicions were right, weren't they?" she smiled weakly.

He seemed to be calming down, her thumb rubbing along his cheekbone gently. He leaned into her touch, and she leaned up on her toes to wrap her arms around his neck. She didn't really know what she was doing as she softly kissed the corner of his mouth. She felt the familiar jolt of electricity shoot up her spine. It was familiar, yes, but it had been so long since she felt it – she never wanted that feeling to end. He closed his eyes at the feeling of her lips on the edge of his. It took everything he had not to turn her head and kiss her full-on the mouth.

But he couldn't. And it was all because of Jesse St. James.

"Ugh..." he said, wiping away at his own tears. "I'm crying over a girl, how pathetic." He chuckled.

Rachel could feel his mood lifting considerably. "It's not pathetic. I always loved that you weren't afraid to show your feelings in front of me..." She looked deeply into his eyes again, as if searching his soul. "It isn't over, Finn..." she whispered. "Just because I'm with Jesse, it doesn't mean you don't have a chance..." She didn't know what possessed her to say that, but it kind of was the truth. Her and Jesse had barely been speaking since she told him Finn was in town. He had been out drinking basically every night with his work mates or friends.

Jesse had given up on performing a long time ago. Rachel had always tried to convince him that it was wasting his talent, that he could be something great. But he always argued that it was _her_ dream, not his, and that they ought to' focus on her career instead. And now, he was stuck behind a desk all day on a computer. Rachel hadn't given up on his dream just yet.

He had wrapped his arms around her waist after she had said what she said. "Really?" he whispered.

"Yes, Finn... You were my first love after all..." she whispered back to him, reaching up to run her fingers through his hair with a sigh. _God_, she had missed his hair. Ever since she had met him, she thought it was creepy how she always just wanted to run her fingers through his beautiful hair.

He still looked upset, and Rachel didn't like it.

"Come on," she said quietly with a smile. "I know this place..."

* * *

The feeling of her hands running through his hair almost made him moan in pleasure. He had to bite down on his lip to stop himself. He _loved_ the feeling, and she knew it. He raised his eyebrow in confusion, what place? He let her take him by the hand and lead him enthusiastically back to the car. She leaned against the driver's side, holding out her hand expectantly.

"You are not driving like this, Finn Hudson. I'd rather not get in a car accident tonight, thank you." She chuckled lightly.

He reluctantly handed over the keys and hopped in the passenger's side. Rachel driving his car. Now that was _definitely _something that brought him back to high school. She shot him a smile from her seat and he couldn't help but smile back, his sadness melting away completely. All that was left was a dull ache in his chest, which he knew would grow as soon as she left him, so he was determined to keep her with him as long as possible. She began driving and he held her hand, leaning his head against the car window, looking up at the lights of the city.

When they finally arrived at their destination, Rachel led Finn inside what looked like a bar. Finn was especially confused when the bartender called out her name and she waved over to him. Did she come here often? The last place Finn could ever see Rachel was _in a bar_. But then again, she had grown up. They all had.

"So... this is where I work..." she said quietly, looking at him as if looking for his approval.

It was a nice place. It definitely wasn't a place where the sleazy drunks went. If Rachel Berry was to work in a bar then this definitely would be the type. Wait, _work_?

As if reading his mind, she said, "I needed money from somewhere. You know, for food, rent... you know, at least until I make it on Broadway," she grinned. "Jesse and I have a one-bedroom apartment but it is quite expensive and his job doesn't exactly pay a lot so..." She realised there was about ten things wrong in that sentence that she shouldn't of said.

Finn knew she was living with Jesse, because he called her a week ago and he answered, and he kind of guessed anyway. "It's nice..." he smiled sadly, thinking of Jesse and Rachel sharing a _one bedroom apartment._ She squeezed his hand; he was surprised she still had hold of it after all this time.

"Do you want a drink?" she asked, raising both eyebrows at him.

"Uh, sure, but you don't have to buy me any-"

"Shh," she said, placing her finger over his lips. No one was really paying attention to them; the bar was quite crowded at the moment. "I want to." She winked before heading over to the bar and Finn felt his heart drop to his stomach.

She was going to be the death of him one day. Especially in that damn dress.

She walked straight behind the bar. "Hey Joe," she greeted the bartender and he nodded his head at her, beginning to serve a customer.

Finn sat down on a stool in front of her and raised his eyebrow. "What are you doing?"

"Getting you a drink, silly."

She placed a bottle of his favourite beer in front of him and smirked teasingly at him. "You remembered."

"How could I forget?" she asked leaning across the bar to look at him, losing herself for a second in his chestnut eyes.

She was acting very strange but he _definitely_ wasn't complaining. She was being all sexy and there was no way he was going to get through the night without _trying something_ on her. She hummed a tune Finn didn't recognise as she poured herself a glass of wine and came back around the bar to sit next to him.

"So... are you feeling any better?" she asked sincerely, dropping the sexy act for a second.

"I'm okay..." he answered truthfully. He could _try_ lying, but she had always been able to see straight through him.

"Finn, I am so sorry... for everything. I feel awful for doing this to you."

He leaned over to place his hand over hers, which was holding her wine glass. She let go of the glass and intertwined her fingers with his. "Don't. I can't decide who you date – as much as I'd like to," he muttered the last part.

"But... now you know... so I'm hoping we can still continue _this_. Whatever this is." Rachel was right. Truth be told, neither of them knew what this thing they had going was, and neither of them wanted to end it. Finn smirked to himself, thinking that even Jesse and Rachel probably weren't like this with each other. And he was never like this with Quinn. They would never be like this with anyone else. She cut through his thoughts. "Just... promise me you're not mad..."

"I promise," he said with a quick squeeze of her hand. "A little upset at the whole situation, maybe... but not mad."

"Yeah... I'm not really happy with the arrangement either... I mean, I'm hiding my feelings from everyone," she said, waving her arm around a bit. She couldn't seriously be tipsy already? He looked over at her glass and she had finished it, and since she was tiny her body couldn't take too much alcohol. She giggled quietly as she stood up to get another glass. She grabbed him another beer without asking him and he smiled. This night could get ten times more interesting if she was drunk.

She was halfway through her second glass before he got her talking again. "So what's living with Jesse like?"

She rolled her eyes at his question and he looked at her confused. "He's always out _drinking_ with those so-called _friends_ of his. He doesn't even have time to spend with _me_. I'm meant to be his _girl_, you know? His _number one_," she exaggerated, almost knocking over her glass because she was waving her arms around so much. He grabbed her arms to prevent it from happening. She looked comforted when he was holding her. She downed her second glass and Finn left her sitting there to check what she was actually drinking. He checked the bottle. Holy crap; that was a lot of alcohol. No wonder she was basically drunk already.

She was very amusing though. It was like the alcohol had taken 10 years off her life and she was a child again. But she was totally adorable. "You don't deserve that," he answered finally with a frown, bringing both of them a glass of lighter white wine. "You know... you'd always be number one to me..." he said quietly. He didn't know what made him say it, but part of him thought since she was halfway to being completely wasted, she wouldn't take him seriously.

But, of course, she did. "I know I would..." she replied quietly, taking his hand in hers again.

* * *

A few wine coolers later and Rachel was definitely gone. It took a lot more alcohol for Finn to get drunk than it did for Rachel but he was definitely beginning to feel dizzy and sick with all the alcohol in his brain. At least he could still walk though. "_Finny_," she whined as they walked down the street to his car. "Neither of us can drive... we're too d-drunk," she hiccupped slightly. "Carry meeee, Finny."

He smiled at the nickname, remembering it was always what she called him when she was drunk. "I'll call a cab, Rach."

"Heeey," she said, catching up to him and latching onto his arm. "I really like it when you call me baby, you know? You should call me that," she giggled. "Rach is boring!"

He shook his head with a chuckle as he pulled out his phone. Fifteen minutes later, a cab arrived and took them back to her apartment. He was about to tell the cab driver where to go to get to his hotel but instead she dragged him out of the car and into her apartment building.

"You're staying with me tonight, Finny," she smirked seductively again, almost falling over walking up the stairs, causing Finn to have to catch her a few times.

"Uh, where's Jesse?" Just the name Jesse made him feel sick.

"Oh, who cares! I just want to cuddle with _you_, Finny," she giggled softly, fumbling with the key to unlock the door to her apartment.

He steadied her hands with his. "Let me do that." She handed over the keys and he opened the door, letting her inside. She grabbed his hand again clumsily. The alcohol was finally settling into his brain and he started to feel a little dizzy as she led him inside. He didn't get a very good look at the apartment before she was dragging him into her bedroom. He didn't know what she was doing, but he didn't have the strength, or the will, to stop her.

"Make yourself comfortable, Finny," she said and he let go of her, making sure she was okay to stand on her own. "I just need to c-change," she said, hiccupping again.

Finn couldn't help but smile at her before collapsing on her giant bed, exhausted. He was emotionally exhausted just from the past couple of days – seeing her at rehearsals and then meeting up at the café. It felt like it had been forever. But he didn't want it to end. He looked over to her as she began rummaging through her dresser to find something to wear.

"Ha!" she said triumphantly as she pulled out a very large shirt with faded writing saying 'McKinley High School Titans' on it. Finn had to double back to look at it again. That was _his_ shirt!

"Rach… how did you –"

"I stole it," she smiled smugly, unzipping her dress and pulling it off from underneath the shirt.

"W-When?" he stuttered as he watched her pull her dress off in front of him. Even when she was drunk she knew when he was checking her out.

"The last night we spent _together_, actually..." she said sadly, sitting down on the bed next to him. The last night they had spent together was magical, and they had broken up a few days later. Finn didn't know whether it was the alcohol or just all her emotions built up but he could see tears welling up in her eyes.

"Rachel –"

"I thought about you every day you know..." she began sobbing, her head in her hands. "Even though I'm with Jesse... I couldn't _stop_ thinking about you to be honest," she hiccupped again, but you could tell some of the alcohol was wearing off.

"Rachel..." he said sadly. His heart was breaking hearing this. She began to wipe away her tears. "Come here..." he said quietly, opening his arms so she could cuddle up to him.

* * *

And she did. She sought comfort in his arms, just like she used to. She snuggled up close to him as he wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her as close as he possibly could. She wasn't even thinking about the consequences – or Jesse. Tonight it was all about Finn and Rachel. No one could ruin this moment. She was still dizzy from the alcohol but being this close to him was making her feel even more intoxicated. She placed her hands on his chest, tracing patterns through his shirt. Her tears immediately disappeared when she was in his arms. Some things never change.

"Thank you, Finn..." she whispered, nuzzling into his chest.

"Don't mention it, baby." He whispered and she smiled. The whole 'baby' thing would have to stay between them. We couldn't have Jesse know about this, could we?

She didn't know _what_ in hell she was thinking when she did what she did next. She grabbed the top of his shirt, pulling him down to her. She lightly pressed her lips to his. It felt _amazing_. Electricity shot up and down her spine and tingled in her bones. She _missed_ this. And even drunk, she knew that she didn't feel this way when kissing Jesse. At all. The kiss became urgent, passionate, Finn pulling Rachel on top of him so she was straddling him. She ran her hands up and down his chest before leaning down to kiss him again. He took the kiss eagerly, wrapping his arms around her again. Without breaking the kiss, she began to unbutton his shirt slowly, one button at a time.

When all his buttons were undone, she stared in awe at his toned, muscular chest. Damn he _had_ been working out while he was in Lima! He must've had a lot of spare time because all his friends would've left Ohio by now so he would have no one to hang out with. By the looks of him he probably spent half his time at the gym. She ran her hands up and down his chest and abs, slowly pushing his shirt off while she was doing it.

* * *

"Rachel –" He stopped her. The feeling of her hands on his bare chest was driving him insane. And _kissing her_ again! God, he might've been drunk but he was ninety nine percent sure those feelings when they kissed were still there. He'd be lying something bad if he said he didn't enjoy this and he wouldn't gladly do this all day, but he couldn't. This was making her a _cheater_. "What are we doing?"

"I don't know... but I really like it," she said seductively, tugging his shirt off his shoulders and pressing her lips to his neck. It must've been the alcohol talking, she didn't _really_ still feel this way about him, did she? But he still let her take his shirt off and toss it aside – he didn't have the energy, or the soberness, to stop her. He moaned as he felt her tongue against his neck. Whether she meant it or not, he really couldn't let it go on like this. If she really felt that way, he'd rather it happen sober.

"No, Rachel." He lightly pushed her off him so she was beside him again. He sat up. "W-We can't do this. Not now..." he said quietly, looking over at her.

"Oh," the rejection stung her, but deep down she knew he was right. What they were doing was wrong on so many levels. "Um... okay... Well, you can go if this is u-uncomfortable for you..." she said, shaking her head dizzily.

"No..." he said with a soft smile. "No, I still want to stay... if that's okay." He reached over her on the bed to grab his shirt and she stopped him.

He looked over at her and she was biting her lip in the most adorable way possible. "No, leave it. I've... uh, I've missed it." She blushed.

He couldn't help but smirk. "As you wish, Ms Berry," he said, lying back on the pillows again.

She bit her lip again, moving into his arms like earlier. "This is nice..." she said quietly, tracing patterns on his bare chest, sending shivers up and down his spine. "_You_ look nice," she giggled.

"I still play football, that's why," he shrugged.

"Well I think it's amazing," she giggled again. She was tired, and Finn could tell the alcohol was catching up with her.

He wrapped his arms around her, smiling at how gorgeous she looked _just_ in his shirt. "Goodnight, Rachel..." he whispered, pressing his lips to her hair quickly. Being able to fall asleep with her in his arms was more than he could ever ask.

She smiled, nestling herself into the comfort of his bare chest again. "Goodnight, Finn."

He smiled before closing his eyes. He almost drifted off straight away before hearing three little words escape her lips. She sighed heavily. "I love you..." she said softly into the deadly silent room.

_I love you. __**I love you.**__**I. love. you.**_He didn't even have time to register it in his brain before drifting off – and he knew the alcohol would probably make him forget it in the morning.

And he fell asleep with her in his arms, not being able to remember a time when he felt so relaxed, those three words still swimming in the back of his mind.

* * *

**A/N: I don't know how long this story is going to be, but the chapters are going to start getting longer like this one was. Shorter chapters kind of worked for this story at first but it's not really my thing so I'm switching back :P**

**Please review! Especially this chapter! All your reviews so far have been great! :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: **Also, I had never really given much thought as to what off-Broadway production Rachel had been cast in because it's sort of irrelevant – so it can be anything you'd like. :)

* * *

Finn woke up the next morning to the smell of bacon and eggs wafting through the room. Ugh, his _head_. How much did he drink last night? He slowly opened his eyes – and it took a while for his eyes to adjust to the room. When his blurry vision finally became clear, he panicked. Where the hell _was_ he? He sat up and looked wildly around the room. He clutched his head. Damn, he had the worst hangover.

_Hangover_.

Oh my God this was Rachel's apartment! He looked down at his half-naked body and the memories of last night came flooding back. Dinner, the bar, her bringing him home to her apartment, cuddling, her taking his shirt off, the 'I love you'. The '_I love you'._ Oh good lord, what had he gotten himself into?

The smell of food was too tempting to ignore anymore, so he reluctantly got off the bed, not even bothering to put his shirt back on. He walked out of the bedroom, scratching his head. "Finn!" said a familiar voice from behind the kitchen counter.

"Jeez, Rach, not so loud..." he mumbled slumping down in one of the stools facing opposite her.

She giggled when she looked down at his shirtless form. "Coffee?" she asked.

"Please. And aspirin, if you have any." He groaned. He really shouldn't have drunk anything last night. "How come you're so... _lively_ this morning?"

"I've been up since six am!" she said proudly. Finn looked at the clock on the oven, it was almost ten. "I thought you might wake up soon so I made you breakfast. Bacon and eggs!"

"But you're vegan..."

"I'd do anything for you, Finn. You know that," she said matter-of-factly, moving around the kitchen space. "Even if it means making something that I'll never make again," she teased. He didn't reply so she glanced over at him. "Look, Finn... I'm sorry for what happened last night."

"You remember?" he asked, looking up at her as she handed him the coffee and an aspirin.

"Of course," she giggled. "How could I forget?"

"Well... don't be sorry. I mean... unless you didn't mean it."

"Oh, I meant it, it's just..."

"What?"

"I cheated on Jesse, Finn," she whispered, biting her lip. "And I'm so afraid... what if he finds out?"

He ignored her question. Jesse was the last person he was thinking of when it came to this. "Rachel... do you remember everything that happened last night?"

"Up until I took your shirt off, yeah..." she smiled to herself. "Wait... did I miss something? Did something else happen?"

"N-No, I mean... nothing important, no." She was worried about Jesse, he wouldn't tell her about the 'I love you' yet.

"Finn... you know I can see straight through you, you know," she smiled knowingly. God, how was she able to _do_ that?

"I'll tell you later, I promise." He smiled. "So... what about Jesse?"

Rachel had been up since six am, but that was mainly because she couldn't sleep. She had woken up, seen the figure of the beautiful boy next to her and had freaked out. Her feelings for him were _way_ out of control. And she had _kissed_ him, cheating on her fiancée in the process. She bit her lip and looked down. "I don't know... I mean we _were_ drunk but... I don't think anything excuses what I did..." she said quietly, wiping away at a tear in her eye.

He looked at her sympathetically. He had caused this, but it wasn't like he was going to be seeing Jesse any time to tell him what had happened last night. "It could've been worse." Finn said, trying to lighten the mood with a shrug.

"I know... thank you for stopping me. _That_ I do remember," she smiled, but the worry was still apparent on her face.

"Don't mention it," he smiled a fake smile. On one hand he really didn't want to stop her last night, he could've kept going and who knows what could have happened. On the other, she said he had grown up, and he wanted to show her that – so he decided to stop it, so she wouldn't regret it in the morning.

"But... the whole night was incredible, Finn. Thank you for taking me out to dinner – it really was exactly what I needed."

He smiled properly this time, standing up and moving around to where she was cooking the bacon at the stove. He wrapped his arms around her from behind and she giggled, leaning into him, dropping the wooden spoon she was holding in the pan. She put her arms over his, rubbing them up and down.

"Did you find your shirt?" she giggled again, tilting her head to look at him.

"Yeah... It looked better on the floor anyway." He shrugged, smirking down at her slightly.

She laughed, turning around in his arms and quickly leaning up to kiss his cheek. "Come on, breakfast is ready."

* * *

Finn left Rachel's apartment at around midday because she had rehearsals and then work that evening. And once again, Rachel couldn't get him off her mind the entire time. Jesse had texted her saying that he would be home tonight and would be cooking her dinner to make up for his attitude over the past week. Rachel really missed her fiancée and she thought it was terrible when they fought. But spending time with Finn, especially after the night they just had, was amazing too. She was so confused and she knew Jesse would ask her about Finn that night. She would tell him that they met and they went out for dinner – that was it. Everything from the bar onwards would stay between the two of them.

She hummed the tune to 'Don't Rain on My Parade' as she walked out of the bar – exhausted from her shift. There was a fight between two drunken men over what sounded like a girl and it was just a big slap in the face to Rachel – reminding him of the love triangle she had unintentionally formed with Jesse and Finn. She drove home, singing along to the radio cheerfully. As soon as she opened the door to her and Jesse's apartment, she gasped in shock, dropping her bag in the process.

The whole apartment was dimly lit by candlelight; the overwhelming smell of roses filled her nose. She saw Jesse standing there, placing a plate of lasagne on the table. "Jesse... what is this?"

"I'm truly sorry for way I've been behaving since I found out about Finn. Forbidding you to see him was completely wrong and I wouldn't want you to be unhappy with me because you can't see your best friend." Everything just looked so special and she was just stunned. She had just spent an incredible night with Finn and Jesse was now making this romantic meal for the two of them – she didn't know what to think anymore. Before she knew it, she was in her fiancée's arms, holding him tightly, kissing him in any spot she could reach.

She told him about meeting up with Finn and him taking her out to dinner, and he didn't seem surprised. She was so glad he wasn't mad at her. But then again, he didn't know the whole story.

After dinner they spent the night curled up on the couch together watching all of Rachel's favourite movies, and she felt terrible, knowing that she had dug herself into a deep hole and she had no idea how she was going to get out of this mess.

* * *

Finn called Rachel the next morning at around nine.

"Finn! You called!" she said, sitting up excitedly when she saw his name flashing on her phone.

He laughed, "Of course I did, Rach."

"Sorry... I just – It still doesn't feel real... you being here," she said quietly.

She could practically _see_ his frown on the other end of the line. "I won't leave you."

Four words that made her stomach flip. "I know..." she whispered. "It worries me slightly." She sighed.

"It worries me too..." he replied quietly. Both ends of the line became silent for a minute or two. It wasn't awkward; they were both just deep in thought. "So I just called wondering when your next night off is?" he asked.

Rachel smiled knowingly. She wanted to see him too. But she frowned when she realised her schedule was booked. "Not until Friday, I'm afraid. I'm sorry, Finn."

"Oh." His disappointment was evident to Rachel and she frowned in response. "No, no, don't apologise... I mean you had a life before I came along and now I'm expecting you to just drop everything to see me on your night off." He shook his head, even though she couldn't see.

"No, Finn," she said automatically in protest. "I am _not _dropping anything to come and see you and I couldn't think of a _better_ way to spend my night off than with you so you will be at my apartment at five pm sharp on Friday and we are going to have a good time." She said firmly, not even pausing for a breath.

"I –"

"Five pm Friday!" She yelled into the phone before hanging up on him with a smug smile.

* * *

To say that Finn was suffering was an understatement.

Ever since the night they spent together he had find it exceptionally hard to be away from her. All he did was think about her and those three damn words that just _had_ to slip out of her mouth. And since Finn didn't spend the week working like she did, all he could do was sit in his hotel room or go for a drive or a walk and just _think_ about her. He couldn't believe he had to wait almost a week to see her and he was going insane not being able to stare at her or hold her or touch her – all the things he _shouldn't_ be doing with her.

There was no doubt he was still in love with her. _No doubt._ But he couldn't act on his feelings - and Finn was never really one to bottle up his feelings. And Rachel was never one to _want_ him to do that. But before _anything_ happened, he had to make sure things were good between him and Quinn. Good, as in, breaking up. He couldn't _be_ with her when he still loved Rachel as much as he did. It hurt him and it would hurt her.

Rachel said he was always selfless like that.

Why did everything always come back to Rachel?

"Ugh!" he said loudly, slamming his fist down on the steering wheel. He had been driving around aimlessly for an hour through the packed city streets of Manhattan. He didn't know how much longer he could take this for. He missed her like crazy.

He pulled out his phone – he didn't know if it was a good idea to be calling her at this time, she could have rehearsals. And if she was anything like the Rachel he knew back in high school, she wouldn't appreciate that at all.

The Rachel he had known was so focused on her dreams. She would do anything to make them come true, and at that point, so would he. He told her in senior year that he would do anything to support her. Even if that meant getting five part time jobs to pay for the rent of the apartment they'd be sharing when he moved there with her. They made out for an hour after that.

Finn missed those memories the most. The talk of the future and what it meant to them. Not just because every time he said something sweet, she'd kiss him non-stop for the next twenty minutes, it was because there was hope and a chance of a future with her.

The fact that she wanted to be with him after school still shocked him.

But she didn't, did she?

She chose her career over him.

This actually didn't surprise him in the least. It would always be her career over him. It had been since before glee club was formed and it was right now as she was beginning to make it big.

But for now he was her _friend_. And she didn't have to choose between her love for Broadway and her friends. He smiled sadly thinking about it before scrolling down his contacts to find her number, even though he had memorised it this week thinking of the many times he could have called her.

She answered on the second ring.

* * *

Rachel had just left rehearsals and was on her way home with one of her favourite salads from down the street. Her phone vibrated in the pocket of the skin tight jeans she had changed into. She pulled it out, grinning at the name that flashed on her screen before answering.

"What can I do for you, Mr Hudson?" she asked in an almost sexy voice.

"Hi!" he said, a little overenthusiastic, Rachel thought. But she wasn't complaining at all. "I, uh, just wanted to hear your voice."

"That's very sweet, Finn." She smiled as she unlocked the front door of her unusually tidy apartment and stepping inside, dropping her purse on the table. She collapsed on the couch after grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge. She held the phone between her ear and her shoulder as she ate her salad.

"Are you busy? Because I can call back later –"

"Oh, Finn, there's no need for that." She said after swallowing a bite of her salad. "So what have you been up to?"

"Nothing," he said bluntly. She could practically see his shoulders slumping in disappointment. She smirked. _He totally missed her!_

"Aww is Finn Hudson a little lonely?" she sang with a giggle.

"O-Oh, I-I don't know about that. I, uh –"

"Come over." She said suddenly, remembering that she had the apartment to herself until Jesse came home.

"W-What? I thought you had no free time until Friday?" he asked. He wondered if she had been lying to him.

"I'll just call in sick to work!" she smiled brightly. "Please, Finn? We can watch a movie! I promise I have a lot more than musicals!" She giggled again.

Finn frowned on the other end of the line – he didn't want her to miss out on getting money just because of him. She needed to pay for food and rent.

As if she was reading his mind, she replied, "Don't worry about work, Finn. It'll be fine. I thought you wanted to spend time with me?"

"Of course I do!" he interjected which caused another smug smile to form on her face. "Give me half an hour and I'll be there."

"Perfect."

* * *

True to his word, half an hour later he stood at her door – a little confused as to why he was there in the first place. It was like the other way around now. _He_ was now dropping everything just to come and see _her_. Not that he really had anything to do anyway. He knocked nervously on her door. He even dressed a little nicely – in a button down – just for her.

She opened the door with a smile. She was wearing a loose fitting top with tight fitting jeans that made her look God damn sexy. She bit her lip as she let him inside the dimly lit apartment. "Thank you for coming, Finn," she said, grabbing his wrists and leading him into the living room area. She bit her lip again as she looked him up and down. "You look nice. But you didn't need to get dressed up. It's just me..." he smiled, letting go of his wrists and rubbing her hand on his arm affectionately. "Make yourself comfortable." She indicated the couch. "I'll be right back."

He absorbed everything she said. _It's just me._ Yeah, she have no idea. He sat down on the couch, kicking off his shoes carelessly. He looked at the TV cabinet and saw all the movies lined up along the shelf. Damn, she had a lot of movies. Well, her and _Jesse's_ movies. He felt disgusted just thinking of his name. But it was him that was with her at the moment, Jesse was irrelevant. He chuckled quietly to himself though, when he realised that all they had probably were musicals. He didn't mind though. With Rachel around there probably wouldn't be much watching of the movie anyway. He'd be too focused on her.

Looking behind him to make sure Rachel wasn't coming out of the kitchen area, Finn quickly snuck over to the DVD cabinet and started browsing through the movies that she had. He recognised a lot of them from when he and Rachel were dating back in high school. He was positive he had seen all her musicals at least twice - not that he ever paid attention in any of them. Most of them led to make out sessions.

He spotted what he knew was Rachel's favourite movie; he quickly took it out of the cabinet and went to sit back down on the couch, reading the back of the DVD while he waited.

When she finally returned, she was carrying a bowl of popcorn and a soda. He tilted his head to the side in confusion - she didn't drink soda or eat popcorn.

Rachel saw the confused look on his face - which she thought was completely adorable - and smirked at him. "Butterless. And the soda's for you." She smiled, handing over the can.

He smiled. "Thanks." He looked over at her, attempting to hide the DVD case in his hands. "So I chose a movie for us to watch."

"Oh, really?" she smiled. "It's probably one of Jesse's ridiculous action films..." her voice faltered when she mentioned Jesse. They had barely talked about her and Jesse living together and Finn's heart panged at the casual mention of it, like it was nothing at all. "I-I'm sorry Finn... I know it must be hard to come to terms with..." she smiled sadly. "What movie did you pick?" she asked in an attempt to change the subject.

Finn finally smiled when she changed the subject, handing the DVD over to her. Her eyes widened as she read the title. _Funny Girl._ Her favourite movie of all time and he _remembered_.

"Finn..." she whispered, a small smile breaking out on her face. "You remembered my favourite movie!" she squealed, jumping on top of him for a hug. She sat on his lap, her arms wrapped around his neck, beginning to play with his hair.

"Of course, Rach. How could I ever forget the movie I fell asleep most in high school?" He teased with a smile. He looked into her eyes, getting lost easily in the warm colour. "D-Do you want to actually watch the movie?" he asked, chuckling nervously as his hands slid down to her waist. He still wasn't used to the feelings she gave him but he couldn't stop _touching_ her.

She bit her lip and looked at him with a hint of seduction, running her hands down the back of his neck before hopping off his lap with the DVD in her hand. She popped it in the player and hurried back to sit down next to him – pulling the blanket from the couch over her lap.

* * *

Throughout the movie they just became closer and closer. First it started off with Rachel leaning against him, with her head on his shoulder. That turned into holding his hand and crossing one of her legs over the top of his. By the end of the movie, she was back in his lap again, her arms around his neck and her head resting on his shoulder. He had his arms around her waist, and occasionally, nuzzled his nose into her neck affectionately. Neither of them knew what they were doing, or what it meant. For the moment they were just enjoying being in each other's arms.

As the movie finished, Rachel yawned loudly. It was basically dark outside now and both of them knew Jesse would be home very soon, so Finn couldn't stick around. "Thank you for this..." she mumbled quietly, burying her face in his neck. "I forget how much better Funny Girl is when I watch it with you. I missed it."

He smiled, tightening his grip around her waist. He was tired too and he would gladly fall asleep with her in his arms. But he couldn't. Jesse could be home any moment and the last thing Finn needed was a confrontation with the guy he hated with a passion in high school. Well, the guy he hated even more today. But neither of them wanted to mention Finn leaving.

"It's getting late, Rach..." he said sadly, and she sighed into his neck.

"I know. But I don't want you to go."

He sighed too. "I wish I could stay but I can't. Jesse will -"

As soon as he said that, the front door to the apartment opened and in walked none other than Jesse St. Freakin' James himself. Finn froze where he was, but Rachel, thinking quickly as she always does, jumped off Finn's lap before Jesse had a chance to see.

"J-Jesse!" she called out quickly pulling him into her arms for a hug. The contact made Finn's stomach twist in knots. He looked exactly the same. He even had that _smug_ look on his face that made Finn want to punch him in the gut. "You're early! I wasn't expecting you home for another half hour."

He smiled. "I came home early for you, baby." He murmured, placing his hand on her cheek and pulling her in for a deep kiss that made Finn's blood boil.

Finn stood up, seriously feeling like he could punch something and walked right into Jesse's view when he pulled away from Rachel. Jesse just stared him down, wide-eyed. Rachel looked between the two of the cautiously, as if one of them was about to start throwing punches. Well, that's what Finn felt like doing at the moment.

"Finn."

"Jesse."

They stayed silent for a minute, just staring each other down. Rachel bit her lip nervously. "Umm... so Finn was just leaving, weren't you?" she asked, gently pushing him towards the door.

"Good! I'm taking you out for dinner, babe." Jesse smirked smugly, his eyes never leaving Finn's. He knew that everything he would say in regards to Rachel would make Finn extremely jealous.

"Good?" he asked through gritted teeth, his anger rising.

"Yes, good. Just like high school, Hudson, _you're in the way_."

Finn took a step closer to Jesse, his fist rising ready to punch the crap out of him before he felt a small hand on his chest, with no force at all, but it still stopped him in his tracks. Jesse looked scared out of his mind though. He was never really one for physical violence. "Well, if you hurt her." He said darkly, wrapping an arm around Rachel's waist and pulling her close. "_Just like high school_," he mimicked. "Then I'll give you hell, St. James. _Hell_."

Finn looked down to Rachel and could've sworn he saw a small smile grace her features. She must know he would always protect her. Even from her boyfriend who she practically worshipped. Jesse looked jealously at Finn's arm wrapped tightly around Rachel's waist.

"Get your hands off my fiancée." He growled darkly, taking a step towards the taller man, staring up at him fiercely.

Finn's hand immediately dropped from her side, staying limp by the side of his body. He took a step back, his eyes widening and his jaw looked like it was about to drop to the floor. It felt like his heart had been shattered into a million pieces beyond repair.

"F-Fiancée?" he asked in barely a whisper.

* * *

**A/N: **Cliffhanger! Also I am so sorry for the wait on this chapter! I was so busy with school! That mixed with writer's block really sucks :/


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:** Once again I apologise for how late this update is! Especially after leaving you guys with a cliff hanger. :P I've been busy with school and working on one-shots but here it is! :) Also, I can't imagine this story having very many more chapters but we'll see how it goes.

* * *

Quinn wiped down the kitchen counter for the sixth time. But who was really counting anyway? That's all she had been doing for the past few weeks since Finn had left her. Cleaning. The apartment was spotless all the time which satisfied Quinn in a way. But God did she _miss_ him.

It was mixed feelings, really. She missed him, she was mad at him; she was upset for choosing _her_, stupid fucking Manhands, over her for the fiftieth time. But then again, who's counting? How did she know he had chosen her over him? Why else would he leave for New York City without telling her about it first?

Sure, they weren't the most perfect couple going – well, they were in high school, they were destined for great things together until RuPaul came along. Yes, saying Rachel's old high school nicknames did make her feel better about it. She just couldn't understand how gorgeous Finn Hudson would choose that little _thing_. Here was Quinn, perfect, if she dared say so herself, beautiful, smart, successful, talented – and she could sing! Sure, not as well as Rachel but that was more than she could say for most other people stuck in Lima. Rachel was just this short, average-looking girl with a huge nose! Sure, she was in New York, successful and talented.

But Finn Hudson was just another guy, right?

So all he cared about were girl's looks, right?

Wrong.

But she didn't know that.

_It's gotta be a phase, right? All this Rachel crap?_ Quinn thought to herself as she turned on her laptop, waiting for it to start up. She had to get him back. She had done it before and she could do it again easily. Right?

So she bought a ticket on the earliest flight to New York City, praying that he loved her enough to want her back. Because she loved him. She really did. Sure, she was confused in high school. Like, _really_ confused. Going back and forth between Finn, Puck and Sam wasn't easy on any of the boys – or any of the girls. But after everything, she still came back to Finn – her first loves. Because first loves were forever.

Too bad Finn considered Rachel his first love.

She groaned, rolling her eyes at the thought of the brunette as she sat on the plane as she awaited takeoff. She was flying solo, of course, but the thought of being stuck between a little boy and his loud, obnoxious video game sounds of what sounded like things being blown up and a old man who was already snoring and his arm over the armrest on Quinn's side was too much for her. She sighed, grabbing her iPod out of her hand luggage and settling in for what was sure to be a very long flight.

* * *

The last thing Rachel heard before she was blinded by tears brimming in her eyes was the sound of the door to her and Jesse's apartment slamming shut as Finn stormed out. She let the tears spill over, no longer caring that she always refused to cry in front of Jesse. He hesitantly put his hand on her back to awkwardly rub her shoulder but she shrugged out of his grasp.

"Well now you've ruined things. How could you not tell him we were getting married, Rachel? That's quite irresponsible of you. What if he wanted to get back together with you? You know you really should have thought this through –"

"Just, stop talking." She whispered, breathless from the sobs that had ripped through the air. She pushed past him and grabbed her coat, heading towards the door.

"Where are you going?" he asked incredulously. "You can't seriously be considering going after him, can you?"

She rounded on him, taking a step towards him which caused his eyes to widen in fear and for him to take a step away from her. After everything, Rachel still saw him deep down for who he really was. The attractive but cowardly 17 year old boy she had met in high school; that was actually quite afraid of her. He still had absolutely no passion whatsoever – just like he was taught as a soulless automaton in Vocal Adrenaline – especially for his music. Those androids never had much heart anyway, never really being about to sing a passionate number to save their lives. And, just like he was displaying now, he was still incredibly stubborn and rude with his inability to let Rachel do as she pleased.

"Yes, Jesse, I am." She answered coldly, taking another step threateningly in his direction. "He is my _best friend_." She emphasized the word to make sure he got it. "And I will not leave things the way they are between us." And with that, she turned on her heels and headed out the door, hurrying down the hall before muttering 'before I lose him forever' under her breath.

She had no idea where he could be. For all she knew, he could have called a cab and left by now. But she had to try. And she knew where he was staying anyway so it couldn't be that difficult. Right?

Fortunately for Rachel, he was sitting outside the apartment building. It had started pouring with rain since they had been watching Funny Girl and Finn was sitting there in the middle of it, under no cover at all.

"Finn!" she called out over the pounding rain on the sidewalk. "Come back inside, Finn! You're going to get sick if you stay out there!"

"Don't fucking talk to me!" He yelled without turning around to face her and she flinched. He really did hate her, didn't he? She opened her mouth to answer but he kept going. "I can't believe you didn't tell me!" He finally turned to face her now – and even though it was raining Rachel could tell he was crying. She had made him cry for the second time this week. He finally stood up and walked over to her, his clothes and hair soaking wet as the rain bucketed down around them. She stayed under the shelter though as he approached her. "Fiancé. _Fiancé_!" He yelled, throwing his hands up in the air. "Jesse St. Jackass, the guy who had the nerve to _egg_ you in sophomore year, unless you've forgotten!"

"Of course I haven't forgotten how he broke my heart, and an egg, on my head, Finn!" She yelled back, feeling her temper rising. She knew that she wouldn't be able to stay mad at him for long, because really who are we kidding? This was _Finn_. But she wanted to say everything that was built up inside of her before she calmed down. She wanted to let it all out. "But he's changed! You don't know him!" She faltered on that last part – as if trying to convince herself that he had changed, and not just Finn.

"Oh, really? He seems the same to me! God, Rachel! I thought we were best friends – well at least that's what you told me anyway! You said I had a chance! You said you wanted to fix things with me! Well you don't fix things with me by first, not telling me you were dating Jesse, and second, not telling me you were _getting married_ to Jesse!"

"You _are_ my best friend, Finn! But you are also so, _so_ much more than that! Things are complicated, you wouldn't understand..." she said quietly, closing her eyes and turning away slightly.

"Then help me to understand, Rachel!" He said desperately, taking a step under the shelter to grab her shoulders in his large hands, making her face in his direction. "Please?" he whispered brokenly, helplessly. He tried catching his breath as she stared at him, wide-eyed and in shock at his sudden change of tone in his voice. When she didn't answer him straight away, he continued. "Do you want to know the reason I came to New York? To _be with you_, Rachel. Because I fucked up so badly in high school. I shouldn't have even _looked_ at another girl. Who would look at another girl when they've got you standing right in front of them? I was a moron, Rach. And you know I'm not perfect – but I try, I really do, and I just want to be with you _so_ badly, that I would do anything – even fly across the country, leave my current girlfriend and my job and everything, _just_ to come and find you." He couldn't believe he had just blurted that all out to her.

She stood there staring at him, her mouth half hanging open at his confession. And then she said the worst possible thing she could say in this situation "B-But I'm marrying Jesse, Finn... I-I can't be with you..."

He felt deflated all of a sudden – and Rachel could see it. She saw his shoulders slump and his attention turn back to the ground as it became silent except for the rain which had turned into a light drizzle now. "Fine... I guess you've made your decision then..." He barely was able to speak; his heart felt like it had just dropped into his stomach and then shattered into a million pieces.

"Finn, I didn't mean it like that –" she tried to reason with him.

"No." He said, putting his hand up and stopping her in her tracks. "Just... forget it. I have to go." He said quietly, turning around and taking a few steps away from her.

She was taken aback by his sudden movements to leave. "Go where?" she asked quickly, taking a few steps to catch up with him.

"I'm packing my bags. I'm going back to Lima in the morning."

And with that, she watched with tears brimming in her eyes, as he walked down the street and disappeared around the corner. That was when she broke down.

* * *

Quinn's flight landed at around 8pm. She was never really one for flying, even if it wasn't a very long trip from Ohio to New York. She got off the plane, exhausted and immediately hailed a cab to take her to her five star hotel. Even in Ohio, working at the hospital sure had its benefits. She collapsed on her bed and almost instantly fell asleep before she even had time to put her bag down.

All she dreamed of was Finn, whom she didn't know was by the time she had woken up the next morning, he would already be on a plane back to Lima.

* * *

As soon as Finn slammed the door to his hotel room shut, he found his bag and began shoving clothes inside it without a second thought. He needed to get out of there. Everything about the city reminded him of Rachel - well, it was _her _city after all - and it was tearing him up. He had booked a five am flight back to Lima (yes, he really was that desperate to get out of here) at around 10.

Too bad he couldn't sleep and by two am, he had lost all hope of getting a good night's rest, so he decided to make his way to the airport early just in case he changed his mind.

Because Rachel was always an expert at making him change his mind.

He really needed to stop thinking about her so much. It was doing his head in.

He arrived at the airport around an hour later, and before he even got a chance to check in, he heard a voice behind him. It was choked, it was strangled, but he could easily identify it. He spun around to see if the voice he had heard was actually from the person he thought, and it was. He saw an exhausted and breathless Rachel Berry standing in front of him. "Finn..." she said quietly, trying to catch her breath. She had been running after him in an attempt to stop him before he checked in. "What are you doing?" God damn it, he really shouldn't have told her that he was going back. "Are you really going back to Lima...?" she bit her lip, knowing the tears were about to come. She had a feeling she wouldn't be able to stop him this time.

He didn't smile; he didn't even show the slightest bit of sympathy towards her. Well, why would he? She hurt him. Probably more than he'd ever been hurt before. Okay, maybe that was a stretch after she cheated on him in junior year with Puckerman. But it was pretty damn close.

He thought going back to being her best friend meant them always being honest with each other. Rachel had told him countless times that he was open and honest and that she wanted to be more like him - even through the time when Finn had lied to her about sleeping with Santana back in sophomore year. She still loved him and was still inspired by him to be a better person. So why hasn't she changed from that? Finn knew why. Because Jesse St. Jackass came back into her life, swept her off her feet and told her she didn't need to change for him. And it totally made Finn sound like the bad guy!

If only she was honest with him. Sure, Finn would have been hurt but they probably wouldn't be in this mess right now.

"Yeah, of course. You didn't think I was going to change my mind, did you?" He faltered on the last bit; of course he had changed his mind. Countless times throughout the night when he couldn't sleep. Always. It was always her on his mind one way or another. Heartbroken or not, she was always just _there_. He couldn't keep going like this though. And he thought moving away from her would ease some of the pain. Even just a little bit. "What are you doing here anyway?"

"Couldn't sleep." She answered, ignoring his question about changing his mind.

"So you came to the airport?" he countered back quickly. He had no time for games, his plane was going to leave in an hour and he had to be checked in at least half an hour before.

"You can't go, Finn..." she whispered, tears falling from her eyes immediately after she said it.

It was like he had snapped. The unsympathetic attitude he was sporting disappeared and his guard dropped when he saw her crying. It was like she had this crazy affect on him with her tears. But he tried to keep a straight face when the reality hit him of what he was actually doing. He composed himself and looked her straight in the eye. "Yes I can! Okay? You _hurt _me! You think I'm just going to get over the fact that you're marrying some guy! There's nothing for me here anymore..." he whispered the last sentence, choking back his own sob.

How many times could she make him cry? Seriously?

"Yes there is!" She whispered brokenly, daring to look in her eyes, but her vision was blurred by her tears. "_I'm_ here, Finn! Do you know how much happier I have been since you've come here? I _need_ you!"

He was so glad no one was there to see his tears. He turned away from her and began walking towards the counter to check-in again and he heard her take in a sharp gasp. It was one of those gasps of disapproval a mother would do to her son. It was so _Rachel_. But he didn't exactly want to think about Rachel being a mom at this point in time.

"Obviously not," he spat. "Or else you would've tried harder to keep me around."

"I was _scared_. I knew you'd act like this if you found out, Finn!" she raised her voice at him, trying to wipe the tears that were now streaming uncontrollably down her face.

He looked down when he saw her tears again, shifting uncomfortably as his heart literally shattered in his chest. He closed his eyes tightly, feeling the tears flow freely down his face. "Like I said, I have to go." He said, with no emotion whatsoever, even though the emotion on his face was very apparent.

She began to panic. There was no way she could leave rehearsals to fly back to Ohio to chase around after him even if she wanted to. For a second she thought what was the point? What was the point going after him just to eventually get her heart broken again? She was marrying Jesse, there was no way he'd want to stick around with the feelings they both had towards each other. She was still the same as she used to be. Selfish. She wanted both guys in her life but in reality she couldn't have one without the other hating her.

But somehow she just _couldn't _let Finn go. She just couldn't.

So she tried a different approach, she took two steps towards him until she was directly in front of him. She stood up on her toes and wrapped her arms around his neck, brushing her lips against his. It was a good thing he was frozen with shock otherwise he would've just turned and ran. "Please..." she breathed against his lips. "Don't leave me, Finn."

"I-I-" he couldn't find the words, and he didn't need to, especially when Rachel's soft lips made contact with his. It was slow, and it was gentle and it was _perfect_. But he couldn't do this, he couldn't get sucked in by her. Not now.

But God, did it feel amazing.

Her soft lips melded with his and she ran her fingers through his hair, grabbing hold of the hair at the back of his neck before he pulled away abruptly. He pushed her away, lifting her up and placing her on the ground again. He was shaking his head and there were more tears in his eyes than before. This really was breaking his heart. "What are you doing?" he whispered. He shook his head, trying to snap himself out of the vulnerable state he was in. "You can't do that. You can just kiss another guy, Rachel!" He snapped, taking a step away from her. "What are you trying to do! What the hell do you want from me?" He automatically regret yelling at her so her looked down at his shoes to stop himself from snapping at her again.

"I just want you to love me..." she whispered quietly, _brokenly_, even.

His head snapped up and looked into her sad eyes and remembered the time they broke up in senior year, and the exact words she said.

* * *

_Finn was worried when Rachel called him one Friday night and said they needed to talk. They needed to talk? Those words were never a good sign. For anything. She had asked him to come over to his house. And to be quiet because her dads were asleep and they'd kill him if they found out he came over late at night. He got ready slowly, dreading what she wanted to talk about with him. He had a feeling it was something worse than just colour-coordinating what he was going to wear tomorrow._

_He arrived at her house and got out of the car. The only light on was in her bedroom, that was a good sign. He had a feeling that her dads shouldn't know what was happening._

_He got to the front door and was almost afraid to knock, when he did though, she opened it almost immediately and dragged him upstairs without a word. He didn't even get his usual hug or anything. Something was definitely wrong._

_"Rachel, what's going -"_

_He was silenced by her placing her hand over his mouth and looking down to the floor. He didn't notice the tears beginning to stream down her face until she looked back up and into his eyes._

_"Rachel..." he said, taking a step towards her, immediately concerned by her tears. He didn't know what was going on but he was going to fix it - no matter what._

_She then just burst into more tears and he really didn't know what to do because when he reached out to pull her into his arms, she took a step backwards. "I'm sorry..." she choked, reaching behind her where her dresser was and picked up something that Finn couldn't see. She then grabbed his hand and placed the object in it, and he knew what it was immediately, and that made tears form in his eyes as well._

_He opened his hand to reveal the necklace he gave her on Valentine's Day last year. "What- Wh-Why are you doing this?" he whispered brokenly, but he already knew the answer to that._

_"Because I'm breaking up with you," she whispered back, shutting her eyes tightly and pushing his hand away that had the necklace in it. She had worn that every single day since she had gotten it back on Valentine's Day last year - even when they weren't together. And even when she had that brief thing with Jesse around the time of Nationals. She never took it off. She felt strange without it, but this was for the best. Well, that's what she continued to tell herself at least._

_"Why?" he whispered, letting her push his hand away. He wasn't going to force her to stay with him if that's not what she wanted._

_A part of her hoped that he didn't ask why, because she knew ever since she decided to break up with him that she would have to tell him a lie. "B-Because you're going to hold me back from being a st-star," she broke out into heavy sobs then, and Finn wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms and tell her everything was going to be okay and that they could stay together. But what she said, that definitely broke the last little bits of his heart._

_What Rachel couldn't believe was that Finn actually believed her when she said he was going to hold her back. That was the furthest thing from the truth. She really hoped that he didn't believe her and she could jump in his arms and tell him the real reason, but she knew that wasn't going to happen. Finn trusted her, so he was going to believe whatever she told him._

_The real reason was because of the amount of time he had been spending with Quinn lately. He was helping her apply for colleges and everything! He kept telling her he believed in her and he believed she could get out of Lima. And that was exactly the type of things Finn used to tell Rachel before they got together! And now Rachel was scared, because Quinn was pretty and popular and basically perfect, and she was just... Rachel. She couldn't go through the pain and heartbreak of losing him to Quinn Fabray yet again. So she took the easy option out. Well, at least she thought it was easy._

_"B-But I won't!" He snapped her out of her thoughts by stepping towards her and grabbing her by the shoulders. Not roughly, but just enough to get her attention. "I'll stay out of your way! We don't even have to see each other while we're in New York together. _Please, _please don't leave me..." he faltered on the last couple of words._

_They had been planning their future in New York City together all summer. Finn and Rachel were going to move to New York as soon as they graduated. Rachel was going to help Finn apply for colleges there and she was going to apply for Juilliard and NYU. And she would audition for shows and he would find a job and eventually they would move in together and have a happy life. And Finn was convinced that Rachel wanted him there with her. Obviously not._

_But still, he continued to talk. "You can't go to New York City on your own, Rachel! It's not safe! And what about everything we've been planning, huh? Is that just going to go out the window just because you think I'll get in your way!" He was trying to keep it down because her dads were sleeping down the hall but he couldn't help it. "You need me, Rachel! Whether you're too proud to admit it or not! And I need you!" He yelled, automatically widening his eyes and listening out just in case her dads heard._

_She was full-on bawling now and it was all Finn's fault. She sobbed with her face in her hands. She looked and sounded so broken. But Finn couldn't help but think she had brought this upon herself when she decided he wasn't enough for her anymore. When the sobs subsided a little, she looked up at him, desperately trying to scan his eyes for some clue as to why he was so angry. "What do you want from me?"_

_"I just want you to love me!"_

* * *

He remembered the day as if it was yesterday. And he knew she said it because today was reminding her of that very day. And he knew she said those words because she didn't want him to walk away from her like she walked away from him. She didn't want him to make the same mistake he did. But this wasn't a mistake. He had convinced himself he was doing the right thing.

"I do love you..." He answered. He probably shouldn't have said it but he couldn't stop it coming out of his mouth.

"No you don't!" She hissed back at him. "Or else you'd stay!" She began sobbing again.

He tried to keep calm even though she was getting pissed at him. "I love you more than anything else in this world, Rachel Berry." He said quietly, which made her eyes pop open in surprise. "I just thought you loved me..." he murmured.

"But-I-what makes you think I love you?" She challenged.

"You said it that night you were drunk and all over me and I stayed the night at your apartment." He confessed in one big breath, looking down at his shoes. "It was stupid of me to believe something you said while you were drunk."

That was when Rachel saw her opportunity. She moved towards him, placing her hand on his cheek. "But I do love you, Finn Hudson..." she whispered, wiping some of the tears away with her thumb. "I-I just, I can't -"

"Choose me over him." He finished her sentence for her lowly, not looking up at her.

"That's not true, Finn. Please. Believe me."

"But you're marrying him."

"Yes, I am, but -"

"Then that's all I need to hear."

Without wasting time - he didn't want to get any more emotionally caught up in this than he already was - he turned on his heel and walked through the door to check-in. She debated going after him but what was the point? She would probably cause a scene and completely embarrass herself in front of everyone. And just because the boy she truly loved didn't believe him.

That was when she broke down for the second time.

* * *

**A/N:** Please review! :D


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N:** Another sort of short filler chapter. It has everyone's points of view. The next chapter will be a big one :)

* * *

She couldn't sleep, she wouldn't eat, and Jesse was pretty sure she hadn't left her bedroom for the past three days. He was worried, normally he wouldn't be, because it was Finn she was basically mourning over and he hated him. He really did hate him. He just shows up in New York, and somehow manages to waltz back into his fiancée's life. It even seemed like for a while that he was winning her heart back. This terrified Jesse. It terrified Jesse more than Finn's fists which he had raised at him the other night. The last night Jesse had saw him before he up and left back to Ohio.

He was so keen on coming to New York City to see Rachel only to break her heart by leaving the second things get bad.

Jesse wasn't an idiot. He knew Finn came back to confess his feelings to Rachel. And he also wasn't stupid in knowing that Rachel has had feelings for him ever since she left him in Ohio. She never talked about the real reason she had left Finn, because she always got upset or it turned into an argument which normally ended in tears. He was a little relieved, to be honest. He knew the more time Finn spent in the city with Rachel; they would end up rekindling their love for each other or something.

He tried to keep Rachel away from Finn as much as possible, and if it wasn't for Rachel being so upset with him leaving, he would've screamed at her for inviting Finn over so they could be _alone. _But he needed to be there for her, because Finn no longer was. Not that he needed to be. Jesse had this whole thing under control, right? He didn't want Rachel to leave him, but she proved she loved Jesse by telling Finn straight to his face that she was marrying him. But why was she _still_ crying over him after three days? It didn't make sense to him.

"Rachel...?" he called our warily after walking to their bedroom, and lightly knocking on the door, which had been shut all morning.

He could hear sniffling coming from the other side but Rachel insisted that he wasn't to see her like this. But she was still crying? He shook it off when she answered him. "Yes?"

"I'm going down to the store and then the mall, is there anything specific you'd like for dinner tonight?" he asked in his softest voice.

"No," she said quietly. Dinner was the last thing on her mind, the first being a specific tall drummer with an incredible smile. "It's okay, make anything you want."

"Are you going to be okay here by yourself?"

"I'll be fine. Thanks Jesse." She said, her voice faltering a little.

There was no way she'd be fine on her own. Every day since Finn had left, Jesse had come home from work to hear sobs coming from their bedroom. Sometimes she let him in, sometimes she told him to go away, so now he just let her come to him and keep his distance for a little while; at least until she had calmed down. "Okay... Well I'll be a while, so I'll see you when I come back, I guess..." he called out through the door.

She nodded, even though she knew he couldn't see and he took the silence as a sign that it was time for him to go.

* * *

Quinn called Finn the day after she touched down in New York, and she was shocked to discover what had happened. He was back in Ohio! She couldn't believe it. She had spent money on a ticket to the city for nothing. She had come here for him, and he wasn't even there.

The worst part? He tried to break up with her. Over his cell phone!

She refused though, and said they would talk about it in person when she came back to Ohio. Which hopefully would be soon. Well, she told Finn it would be soon. But really she wanted to find out where Rachel lived and go to see her. She wanted to know everything that happened while Finn was with her in New York and God knows Finn wouldn't tell her if something happened between them – which it most likely would. One thing Quinn remembered from high school was that Rachel Barbra Berry was painfully honest. She'd tell her, or so she hoped.

She figured she'd be staying for a little while at her hotel until she worked things out with Rachel and Finn – so she wanted to go to the closest mall to do some New York City shopping.

She took a cab to a mall that Quinn swore was three times larger than Lima's biggest one, and Quinn did not hesitate at all to pay the driver and take in all the sights sounds of the city around her. She spent two hours searching the various clothing stores and walking out with more and more bags of overpriced things she had bought. She made it to the food court to go to her favourite organic food cafe, which she knew if they had in Ohio – they'd have in New York as well. She slid into a booth on the far side after buying a wrap and some iced tea and she didn't even notice the man who sat down on the other side of the booth until she looked up.

"Quinn Fabray! It's quite a surprise to see you here. I thought you still lived in Ohio?" the voice asked politely, and even though Quinn didn't know him very well, she could identify the voice anywhere. Her heard snapped up and her ears were right.

"Jesse! Wow, it has been a very long time!" She frowned at his last question. "Yes... I do still live in Ohio. With Finn... actually." She noticed him tense up and she wasn't surprised. She knew Jesse hated Finn back in high school. She wondered if he knew about Finn coming back here looking for Rachel. Well, she was bound to find out sooner or later.

"You live with Finn...?" he raised an eyebrow. "Do you know where he is?"

"Yeah, he's back in Ohio. I know I came a little late into the mix but I care about him, you know? And once I got over the initial shock of him leaving me for Berry then I realised that I loved him more than anything and I want to be able to be the only one to make him happy." She finally took a breath.

Jesse looked concerned. By the sounds of things, Quinn didn't know the whole story. "I think we need to talk..." he said quietly, leaning over the table slightly to give her his signature Jesse St. James stare which usually made girl's hearts melt.

Quinn had always found Jesse attractive, but had never developed any sort of feelings for him. She was a little jealous of what Rachel always ended up with though. First she stole her (ex) boyfriend away from her after he broke up with her for cheating on him. She supposed she deserved being dumped like that – but did she really have to make a move on him literally the same week they broke up? And then Rachel found Jesse, who was perfect and handsome and seemed sweet at the time and Quinn was on and off with Puckerman, who constantly kept telling her to lose weight even though she was pregnant. And at one point Rachel even had _Puck _running after her for a week. She even got _Sam _to go to junior prom with her! It frustrated Quinn that Rachel always ended up with the perfect guys – or the guys that were supposed to be hers. Especially after what happened in junior year when she got back together with Finn and all he did was stare at her.

"About what?" she asked as she snapped out of her thoughts.

"I'm marrying Rachel."

"_Oh_," she finally understood what all the fuss was about now.

"And Finn and Rachel found each other and she didn't tell him that we were engaged. He was mad, so he left her. She hasn't come out of the apartment actually..." He looked down. He felt like he had failed in trying to cheer up his fiancée.

"She will." Quinn automatically encouraged. "I might not know her as well as you do but... I know her well enough to know that really she sees boys as just distractions - no offence," she adds quickly when Jesse raises his eyebrow at her. "I mean, boys like Finn, not her fiancé." She shook her head. "Anyway, all I'm trying to say is, she'll move on. She's moved on from him before and everything was okay until Finn realised he wasn't over her. "She shrugged." And I'm going to make sure Finn gets over her, because in a couple of days I'll be on a plane back to Ohio to be with him."

Jesse leaned in closer with a smirk. "I like the way you think. I just need to help get Rachel to move on..." He looked thoughtful.

"Easy." She replied quickly, leaning in closer as well. "Just get her to focus on her work. That's the only think more important than Finn Hudson to her. She left him in Ohio for her career and her dreams of stardom; _you _just need to get her focused on her goal again." She leaned back in her seat, crossing her arms with a satisfied smirk gracing her features.

"Sounds like a plan, Miss Fabray." He winked before promptly standing up and exiting the cafe without another word. "I'll call you," he called over his shoulder before he was out of sight.

* * *

Being alone in his and Quinn's apartment probably wasn't the best idea right now but after receiving a call from Quinn, she wouldn't be home for a couple of days, so he was alone. And he was so confused about the way he felt. He was pissed – but not at Rachel like he knew he should be. He was pissed at Jesse for just _being _there in the first place. He knew that was unfair, but after everything Jesse had done to Rachel since high school made sure that Finn could never forgive him for cracking that egg on her head. He was upset about Rachel, that was a given. Quinn was the one he wasn't so sure about. She had every right to be mad at him for leaving her to go to New York, but she sounded so calm on the phone – and it was the first time they had talked for a couple of weeks. She actually said she wanted to fix things when she got back from the city and Finn was stunned. He might actually get a second chance with her after all. But he had to think about it – so it was a good thing she wasn't coming back for a couple of days. Even though Rachel hurt him, he wasn't going to get over her that easy.

For the couple of days before Quinn was due to come home, he just moped. He did nothing except sit on the couch without a shirt watching sports and drinking bottle after bottle of beer.

He wasn't exactly prepared for what happened next though.

* * *

Two days passed, and Quinn didn't come home.

Two weeks passed, and after a few calls from Finn asking where she was, it even seemed like she was never going to.

He left her a message a day – and normally she would find that incredible romantic, even for Finn. But at the moment she just found it distracting her from the job at hand.

She and Jesse had been meeting on a regular basis to discuss plans and other things they were going to do concerning Rachel and Finn. Jesse suggested going back home so Finn would stop pining over her and get back to his normal life. But Quinn assured him that after Rachel hurt him like that, that he wasn't ever coming back to New York. She never thought she'd say this, but she actually enjoyed the couple of hours she spent with Jesse a day. He was actually very sweet and charming – and besides him marrying Rachel, Quinn really didn't know why Finn hated him so much. He was very kind to her and they met every single day in his favourite coffee shop to talk.

He was spending less and less time with Rachel, who had begun going back to rehearsals again a couple of days after Quinn and Jesse had met. And she was spending less and less time thinking and worrying about what Finn would be doing right now. Neither of them would ever admit it out loud, but they were actually sort of _connecting._

* * *

Rachel had been keeping herself very busy. Two weeks and a few days after Finn had gone back to Ohio and she was back into rehearsals and doing everything she was doing before Finn had come back into her life. She was trying a new attitude. She didn't need men in her life to tear her down. The only man she needed was her fiancé, who seemed to be doing the same thing as she was doing – getting things back to normal. She hadn't spent any decent time with him since she had finally left her bedroom, but she supposed that was things getting back to normal, wasn't it?

Deep down though, she couldn't help but _miss him._ More than anything. She pushed all those feelings aside though. She would have a husband soon, who she loved very much. And he had encouraged her to get back on her feet. And she did. She was powering through rehearsals and her director said she had more energy than he'd ever seen her have.

She was making it in a way she never thought she would.

Without Finn.

* * *

Almost three weeks had passed and Rachel was coming home from one of her long days at rehearsals. She was exhausted and all she wanted to do was curl up next to her fiancée and fall asleep. She drove home, which took half an hour longer than usual because of traffic, and she sat there in her car in the busy New York street thinking. She wondered why Jesse was so distant lately. Was it something she did? Maybe she'd ask him tonight. She arrived home and walked down the hall to her door after riding the elevator. She could hear noises inside the apartment and she shook it off, thinking it was Jesse in front of the TV. The door was locked, which was unusual. It was never locked when Jesse was home. She always locked it, but he never did. Curious, she finally got herself inside the apartment, her eyes suddenly widening at the noise. Jesse was not in front of the TV. And the noise was _giggling. _She knew as soon as she heard it that things weren't right.

She barged into her and Jesse's bedroom to find her worst fear. _Quinn Fabray _was in her bed. _With her fiancée. _Rachel bit her lip as tears begun streaming down her face. Jesse saw her, mouth dropping open in shock as he saw his fiancé standing there, trembling with God knows what. He rushed out of bed to go over to her and it became even worse when she found that he was naked, and when Quinn sat up, she discovered she was naked as well.

Jesse opened his mouth to say something, but Rachel stopped him. "Don't." She put up her hand, closing her eyes to stop herself from beginning to sob uncontrollably.

"Rachel, I can explain -"

"Really? Okay, Jesse, explain to me how long you've been _cheating on me_?" she screamed at him.

Quinn looked frightened, Rachel thought she should be.

"This was it... the only time." He said quietly, hoping she didn't go over there and rip his head off.

"Out."

"What?"

"Get out. _Both of you_," she spat at Jesse, moving aside so the doorway was clear. "And get dressed before you leave, Quinn. Unlike my _fiancée,_ I don't care to see you naked." She said, venom laced through her voice before she left the room and slammed the door shut.

She sat on the couch and waited for them both to come out. They took a lot longer than they should have _just _to get dressed. But Rachel didn't want to think about that. Because she knew they weren't _just _getting dressed. She was a mess before he had even left the apartment, she was sobbing and choking and her heart was breaking for the second time that month. She felt so alone. She couldn't believe that this had happened to her. She really thought that Jesse loved her.

They finally came out of the room and Rachel glared over in their direction. She didn't look Jesse in the eye. "Go on!" She nodded towards the door when they just stood there staring at her in shock.

"Rachel..." Jesse said softly, moving over to where she was on the couch.

"Get away from me!" she yelled. "I am _done _with you, Jesse St. James. Do you hear me? _**Done.**_" She let out a broken sob. "Now get out. And I never want to see you anywhere near here again unless you're taking things away!" She screamed, recovering quickly from her moment of weakness.

With a tear falling down his face, he left, and Rachel realised she had just lost the two boys who had ever truly loved her.

She could feel the anger suddenly boiling up inside of her. "Ugh!" she yelled in frustration. She didn't even really know who she was angry at more - Jesse, Quinn or herself for letting all of this happen behind her back. She stormed off into her bedroom and began ripping the sheets off her bed. She wanted to burn them. She never wanted to see the sheets that her fiancé had sex with another woman on _ever _again. She threw them in the laundry basket for now, they were Jesse's sheets anyway.

She then closed all the windows and locked the front door of her apartment before curling up on the couch with Funny Girl - which she completely forgot the last time she watched it was with Finn (and that made her cry even more), and just cried.

* * *

"K-Kurt?"

"Rachel... is that you? Are you crying? What's going on?" Kurt flung a million questions at her and she had already begun sobbing again.

"It's J-Jesse... he cheated on me. W-With Quinn." She sniffed, suddenly beginning to cry again.

"Quinn _Fabray_? What the hell is she doing in New York? And where's Finn?" he asked incredulously.

"Finn's gone..." she said quietly. "I didn't tell him that me and Jesse were getting married and he got mad and -" She didn't say anymore. It hurt too much. "I-I don't know..." she coughed, "maybe looking for Finn? I'm not sure."

"So you're _alone_? I'm so sorry, Rachel..." Kurt said sincerely.

Rachel nodded, but then realised Kurt couldn't see that through the phone so she squeaked out a small. "Y-Yes."

Kurt suddenly had an idea. "Hang tight, Rach. Don't worry. I'll fix things up, I promise." And then he hung up.

Rachel had _never_ felt so alone.

* * *

"Hey Kurt! What's going on?" Finn asked when his brother's name flashed up on his phone.

"We need to talk, Finn Hudson," he said crossly and Finn raised an eyebrow, definitely not expecting what was about to come next.

* * *

**A/N:** I know there was no Finchel in this at all and it was a little shorter than usual, but _trust me_, the whole chapter will be Finchel and it will be a lot longer. This is just filling the two to three week space where Finn and Rachel are apart. Please review if you can! :D


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N:** So this is where the M rating comes into play. ;) So basically smut, smut, smut. So, enjoy! And review if you can!

* * *

"We need to talk, Finn Hudson."

"About...?" He rolled his eyes. Whenever Kurt wanted to talk it was normally about Finn's fashion choices or his music choices.

"It's Rachel... and Jesse. And Quinn..." He said slowly, and Finn knew he was hesitant. He knew about the whole Finn/Jesse/Rachel situation that had been going on. He thought _Rachel _was the one being ridiculous but it wasn't his place to have an opinion. It wasn't even either of their places anymore. Finn had conveniently taken himself out of Rachel and Jesse's lives. For good. His fists clenched though when he heard Jesse's name. And Quinn? What did Quinn have to do with this?

"What about him?" he said through his teeth. "And Quinn?"

"Okay before I tell you, you have to promise to relax and not freak out, okay?" Kurt asked him carefully.

Finn rolled his eyes again – he just thought Kurt was being dramatic again. "Yeah, sure. Whatever." He could practically see him rolling his eyes.

"Well... from what I know... When Quinn came looking for you in New York and then discovered you were already back in Lima, she started getting _closer _to Jesse when they met up one day." Finn didn't like the way he said closer. "And then, a few weeks later, tonight actually," he said slowly. "Rachel found Quinn in her bed... with Jesse." He bit his lip awaiting his reaction even though he couldn't see.

"_What?_" he yelled through the phone, his fists clenching angrily. No freaking way this was happening. It felt like some sort of twisted nightmare. "You've got to be fucking kidding me!"

"I-I'm sorry, Finn..." Kurt apologised, and Finn knew he was referring to Quinn, who at the moment, he couldn't give a shit about. All he cared about was Rachel.

"Rachel's fiancé fucking cheated on her? _Right _after I leave too?" He growled angrily, raking his hand through his hair. He _cheated _on her! With _his _girl. Well, Rachel would always be his girl but everyone got the picture. Even after all that crap about loving her and marrying her and never leaving her he _still _goes and does something like that!

Well there was no way in hell he was staying in this apartment anymore! Quinn bought it, she can fucking have it.

"What about Quinn, Finn...? You two were just about to start working things out?" Kurt asked quietly.

"It never would have worked..." he mumbled just loud enough for him to hear. It was silent on both ends for a minute.

"Finn, if you love her, which I know you do, you need to go back to New York to see her. You do realise that, don't you? That you're her only hope of getting through this? I'd go myself but I know I won't be nearly the type of support she's looking for. She wants you, Finn." Kurt hadn't exactly managed to squeeze that bit of information out of her during their quick phone call, but he knew his best friend well enough to know that she was _still _not over him after three years.

Finn knew Kurt was right. Heck, Kurt was _always _right. Sometimes it sucked to have him as a brother.

"I know... I just- she hurt me so badly, Kurt..." His voice broke.

"And look how badly she has been hurt from hurting you. I know you probably think the right thing to do would be to just let her suffer. But you can't, can you? You wouldn't be able to live with yourself knowing that she was suffering." It wasn't a question. It was a fact.

God, he really hated it when Kurt was right.

"But I can't go... I can't just _show up,_ she'll have a freaking heart attack."

"Yes you can! Come on, Finn. She needs you right now." Kurt pleaded. He didn't like seeing his best friend like this when he could do something about it. "I already bought your ticket for you – I emailed you the details."

So God damn prepared, he was.

"Okay, okay... I'll go."

* * *

The flight was unusually long. All Finn could do was fidget in his seat while listening to his iPhone and staring out the window. He couldn't sit still and he was pretty sure he was irritating the lady sitting next to him. He just wanted to get there – to be with her. Because despite how much pain she caused him over the past month, he was still head over heels in love with her. There was no changing that. Ever. He was restless and went to the bathroom several times without the need to actually go. The plane touched down in NYC and Finn became nervous – which made him fidget even more than he already was. He hurried off the plane and hailed a cab to take him to Rachel's apartment. Even in the crowded streets of New York City, he still knew where her apartment was off by heart.

He rushed up the stairs to her floor and almost ran down the hall to the end. He knocked on the door, but he wasn't sure whether she'd be home or not so he tried the door handle. The door opened. That's right; she didn't lock the door when Jesse wasn't around, which always worried Finn a bit. But on the up side, that meant she must have kicked Jesse out, right?

"Rachel...?" He called out into the seemingly empty apartment.

It was the fourth day in a row Rachel stayed in bed and let her failure of an understudy hopefully get familiar with her lines. Also because she couldn't, for the life of her, find the inspiration to get out of bed. She just _couldn't. _Jesse and Quinn and Finn were on her mind, back and forth, all day long. Well, she didn't want to think about Quinn and Jesse, so most of her thoughts were occupied by Finn. She kept hearing his voice in her head. _I just want you to love me. You hurt me, Rachel! I love you more than anything in this world, Rachel Berry. I just wanted to hear your voice. I wish I could stay. Well, if you hurt her, I'll give you hell, St. James. Hell._ Everything that had happened between them over the week or so that he was there with her just kept replaying over and over in her head. Plus the events that led up to Rachel breaking his heart _again._ She really didn't know how or why guys put up with her. She was still hearing his voice – and for a second she heard it so clearly that it almost sounded like –

"Rachel...?" She heard it. That was definitely his voice. And it had nothing to do with her head.

* * *

"Finn?" She sat up in bed, craning her neck to see if she could hear through the door. She cleared some of the tissues away from the bed and wiped her eyes one more time. "Finn! Is that you?"

"Where are you?"

"B-Bedroom!"

He burst through the bedroom door, holding his breath as he saw her sitting on her bed completely _broken._ And he couldn't help but think it was all his fault. If he hadn't come to New York, neither would Quinn and therefore Rachel would still be happy. Even if it was with Jesse. His heart broke at the sight of her. She was so tragically beautiful. She might have had tired and bloodshot eyes but she still looked like a princess in his eyes. Fuck St. James. _He _was the one she needed to be with.

She began sobbing again and he bit his lip. "W-What are you doing here, Finn?" She asked in between sobs. "You're here and then you're just going to leave again like last time. You don't need to rip my heart out again, Finn, I get the picture! I'm a terrible person, I get it. I deserve to be alone, _I get it._ Everybody leaves me, Finn! I deserve it…" She said the last part quietly, burying her face in her hands and sobbing heavily.

Without saying a word, Finn kicked his shoes off and crawled onto the bed next to her, pulling her into a tight embrace. She was in his arms again. _Finally,_ he thought. She didn't seem to react though besides sobbing even harder. "Shhh, Rachel it's okay." The next words that came out of his mouth weren't planned but he meant every little bit. "I'm not leaving you, Rach. I promise." He whispered brokenly, feeling tears of his own fall down his face, the impact of his girlfriend cheating on him finally hitting him.

"Finn… he-he-he-"

"I know, baby," he cooed, trying to completely ignore the fact he had just called her 'baby'. He rubbed her back comfortingly as she eventually calmed down. He glanced at the clock, he'd been there an hour. They hadn't really addressed the giant elephant in the room yet – what did this mean for them? Now that they had both just been cheated on. Finn's first priority though was making sure Rachel was okay. All of that could come later.

Or not.

As soon as she had calmed down she began sobbing again, but for a completely different reason. "Finn, I c-can't believe you're here!" She clutched his jacket tightly; afraid he would leave even though he promised her he wouldn't. "I am _so _unbelievably sorry! You have no idea, Finn. You were right, you deserve so much better than me and to be with someone else."

What? When did he say that? "Rachel, I never said-"

But she wasn't done. "But I was just _so_ afraid that you'd leave when you found out and then when you did find out you did leave and my heart. _My heart_, Finn. It just couldn't take it and it ached and ached for days. It's still aching right now! Even though you're right in front of me!" She finished, eyed wide and breathless. "You can't go," she whispered, leaning in to clutch his jacket tighter, their faces much closer than before. "You can't leave me again…"

He didn't answer. Instead he leaned in to give her a kiss. It was soft and sweet but it was over as soon as it happened and he really didn't have a clue why he was doing this to her. He was taking advantage of her while she was in a vulnerable state. That was definitely out of the question. He pulled away quickly with widened eyes and she had tears in hers and it looked like she was about to cry again and Finn felt terrible.

"I'm sorry, Rach, I shouldn't have-"

"God, even _you _don't want me!" She wailed, burying her face in her hands again.

"_What?_" He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Didn't he just kiss her like a second ago?

"You-You pulled away Finn!" Her muffled voice came from behind her hands. "You can't even kiss me when it's obvious that _I want you to_! So badly!"

His heart dropped. She wanted him to? It was so wrong and there was probably a chance she'd come to her senses and slap him in the face but he couldn't help himself. He grabbed her wrists and gently pulled her hands away from her face so she was looking at him.

Her lip was wobbling and more tears were threatening to fall but all she could think about was _him_ and how attractive he was and how much she wanted to be close to him. "_Kiss me_," she breathed, grabbing his leather jacket and pulling him towards her so their noses were touching.

He didn't need to be asked twice. His lips touched hers again and fireworks? No. An _explosion_ of emotions came pouring out and he put it all into the kiss. It was proper this time and it was sober this time and it was beyond perfect. He had missed this more than she could possibly imagine and now that he was here with her, close to her, and had _forgiven _her. He had forgiven her.

"Baby, I forgive you." The words fell from his lips as soon as he realised it. In response, she just kissed him harder with a whimper. Her hands left his jacket and slipped up his neck into his hair, her fingers instantly tangling in it.

"Finn," she whimpered, tears beginning to fall down her cheeks again as she pulled away slightly.

"What's wrong, baby?" He asked concerned, caressing her cheek with his hand.

Before Finn knew it his jacket was being pushed off his shoulders, he was pushed down on the mattress and was being straddled by Rachel. She leaned down, nibbling on his earlobe softly before brushing her lips against his ear. "_Make love to me, Finn._" Her breath against his ear making him shiver.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I need you."

Once again, it felt so wrong to be taking advantage of her while she was in this state but she said it herself - she _needed _him, and he'd been needing her for three years. He wasn't about to pass this opportunity up.

She began unbuttoning his shirt and it took painfully too long. But his arousal became apparent to him as soon as her hands slipped up his bare chest for the first time. She lifted his torso up by pulling his shirt before tearing the shirt away from his body so he lay bare-chested below her. Rachel licked her lips as she looked down at her, and as Finn looked into her eyes, he could see her eyes darken with her own arousal. She wanted him. "Take me, Finn," she breathed quietly, her voice laced with lust.

"When did you become so God damn sexy?" He breathed back. He didn't really want to know the answer to that actually. Not that she wasn't sexy before, because damn, she knew how to turn him own. But now she was sexy and _she knew it_. So she flaunted it and teased him with it until he could feel his jeans tightening around his crotch.

She could feel it though, his arousal. She was still straddling him so he could feel him harden beneath her. It just turned her on even more. "Only with you, baby. Only with you." It was true though. She had never shown this side of herself to Jesse. Their sex was rough and quick and their post-sex cuddling wasn't exactly the most enjoyable. She vividly remembered her first time - with Finn one night while her dads were away. It was awkward with a lot of apologies and he lost the condom under the bed but all-in-all she couldn't have asked for better. He was gentle, and he peppered kisses all over her face when she began crying because of the pain. And the cuddling after sex with Finn Hudson? _Amazing._

"Come here," he growled, pulling her down to him sightly by her shirt. He began pulling it over her head and his breath caught in his throat when he realised she was wearing no bra.

"There's no panties either, Finny," she winked.

He almost came right there and then.

He almost ripped her jeans desperately trying to get them off her. Finally, he got them off and she was now straddling him naked. "Fuck..." He breathed, before hooking an arm around her waist and pulling her down on top of him, their bare chests rubbing against each other.

They both moaned at the same time, in a sort of harmony. She purposely brushed her breasts against his chest just to see his eyes darken even more. "What are you waiting for, Finn? Touch me." She whispered challengingly.

He slipped his hands up her stomach to cup her breasts in his hand. They were just as he remembered them, and they still fit perfectly in his hands. He squeezed them gently and she whimpered and he smirked, he knew exactly what she wanted, but he wasn't going to get to that yet.

She needed his touch so badly, and _now _he chooses to tease her? Not fair. But of course, she could always tease him back. "God, you're wearing way too much." She muttered, using all her strength to try and flip him over so he was on top. He got the hint and helped her by moving so her was hovering over her. She quickly worked his belt and tossed it on the floor with her clothes. She then swiftly discarded his jeans and boxers, licking her lips again at what she was staring at now.

"You have no idea how much I've missed you."

"Actually, I think I have a pretty good idea."

Their lips found each other again and their tongues battled for dominance as he lowered himself so their bodies were touching once more. She moaned as she felt him harden against her thigh. Kissing him was unlike anything else Rachel had ever experienced. There were no fireworks - Finn was right in saying that in their junior year. It was explosions of bright colours and lights and it was love and passion and want and need and lust. It was everything.

"I'm never leaving you again," he choked, declaring his promise to her.

"I know, baby. I know," she cooed, stopping their passionate moment to place her hand on his cheek, caressing it tenderly.

He lowered himself on the bed, fitting comfortably between her legs. He dropped kisses down her neck and chest until he reached her breasts. Kissing along it, he took her nipple in his mouth and began sucking. She moaned loudly, throwing her head back and arching her chest more into his mouth. He loved it when he could make those sounds come out of her. He also loved her boobs. A lot. He then ran his tongue over the hardened bud, making her moans increase in volume and her back arch further off the bed.

She wanted him to feel exactly the way she was feeling at the moment. Her hands slipped down his chest, tracing her fingertips over his defined abs as he took his length in her hands and began slowly pumping. His moan vibrated against her chest which made her moan equally as loud. His mouth left her breast and pressed his nose to her cheek gently. "Touch me," she whispered, one hand reaching up to run through his hair.

He obeyed, his hand slipping down to stroke her a few times. He was teasing her and he knew she hated it. She grabbed his head and turned it to face her, giving him the 'don't you dare tease me' look and he finally pressed his thumb to her throbbing clit.

A different sound came from her this time - a different type of moan. One he hadn't heard in a very long time, but the one he always remembered the most vividly. He massaged the tiny bundle of nerves gently, hearing different noises come out of Rachel every time.

"I'm close," she whispered. "Please, Finn... Come with me."

He knew what that meant.

He positioned himself near her entrance before quickly sliding himself into her. She let out a broken moan at the contact. He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding in. It was just how he remembered it. And it was _perfect_. She wrapped her arms around his neck, holding on to the bottom of his hair tightly as he began a slow rhythm, something to build up on.

"That feels s-_so_ good, Finn." She breathed, tightening her grip on his hair as he noticed sweat beginning to form on her forehead. Before he could say anything she went on, "I didn't think I'd ever see you again." Tears sprung in her eyes and at first Finn thought he was hurting her and she noticed. "Don't stop," she whispered, placing her hand over his heart, the fast beat against her palm making her calm. "I treated you so badly, Finn," she said in a broken whisper again, trying not to cry.

"It's over, baby," he murmured, hearing her whimper as he began moving faster inside of her. "I'm here and-"

"Faster," she demanded, losing herself in the feeling of him.

He picked up the speed, her moans becoming louder than he had heard them all night. She felt _so damn good_ and he couldn't help but think how the hell he went this long without being inside of her.

"_Oh, Finn!_" Her orgasm hit suddenly, and Finn felt her walls clench, the waves of pleasure pushing her over the edge and making her scream his name.

Her scream made him come to (harder than he had in a _very_ long time) and he groaned out her name in pleasure. Once they had both come down from their high, they were breathing heavily and she had her eyes closed and he pulled himself out of her unwillingly. But that could get a little uncomfortable.

He was exhausted though, his arms no longer able to support his weight so he collapsed on the bed next to her. She lifted her arm up and began stroking his hair lovingly.

"I am so in love with you, Finn Hudson," she managed to breathe out.

His eyes widened. _What?_

As if she could read his mind, she answered, "You heard me. I love you."

"I love you too." He told her back with no hesitation. He always had and he always will.

Tears welled up in her eyes. Obviously she wasn't expecting to hear it back. "Really?" She whispered.

"Always."

She bit her lip, trying to contain the bright smile that was creeping onto her face. He didn't anticipate her next move. She quickly jumped on him, hugging him tightly around the neck before pulling back and placing kisses all over his face.

He chuckled and held her tiny, naked body around the waist until she calmed down.

"Even after everything I did to you?" She whispered, pulling back to look in his eyes.

"_Always_, babe. I promise." He nodded fervently.

She sighed happily and without saying anything else, she settled for laying in his arms, her head on his chest. "You're so strong," she giggled with a yawn, tracing his abs with her finger. "And sexy."

He grinned. No one had ever called him sexy besides her. She made him feel like he could be anything. But he had noticed her sleepy tone. "Sleep, baby." He murmured.

She froze, gripping his hand tightly. No, she couldn't sleep. "B-But you'll leave! That's it, isn't it?" She turned around to look at him, eyes wide with fear. "You had sex with me and now you're going to leave!" She bit her lip, tears forming again in her eyes.

"No!" He said a lot louder than he probably should have. "No... I'll be here when you wake up. I promise, Rachel, okay? _I promise._" His caramel eyes stared right into her chocolate ones.

She sighed again, looking down and returning to her position on his chest, closing her eyes. "I believe you..." She mumbled, kissing his chest quickly.

"Good." He said. He wasn't planning on leaving anyway but leaving after _that _just happened? No way.

They lay in silence for a few minutes, his fingers tracing circles on her bare back. It took him a minute to realize she was asleep in his arms, making small sounds as if she was dreaming. He smiled softly, his arms tightening around her waist before he quickly drifted off to sleep with her.

He slept soundly and in peace for the first time in three years.

* * *

**A/N: **Reviews on this chapter would be greatly appreciated! :)


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N:** Thank you for all your reviews on the last chapter. :) It really means a lot! I've been thinking about new plotlines for this story and honestly, I have come up with so many that I don't think this story is anywhere close to being over yet. So even though they're back together, doesn't mean the drama will stop ;)

* * *

Surely he must be dreaming. Yes, he was dreaming. Unless some weird Freaky Friday moment had happened overnight and he was now Rachel. He'd seen that movie, the one with Lindsay Lohan and Jamie Lee Curtis. Switching bodies with Rachel sounded awesome though. _Look at me, I sound like I'm 16 again._ He mentally scolded himself as he looked down at his body once more. So, why the hell was he Rachel again? In the dream, of course. He was trying not to stare down his own top (which was totally weird by the way) as he realized he was out the front of her apartment. His (or her) eyebrows furrowed and he reached for the keys to open it.

As soon as he did he heard a noise. Giggling? Moaning? _Okay_ maybe he didn't want to know what was going on in Rachel's apartment – while he was in fact Rachel. This was so confusing. He frowned, walking over to the bedroom – because _of course _that's where the noises were coming from – and pushed open the door slightly. His eyes widened when he saw his girlfriend – well, _ex-_girlfriend now – in bed with Rachel's fiancé. "Shit," he muttered, leaving the room as quickly as he arrived. "Shit, shit, shit." He said a little louder, banging his fist against the wall, feeling tears beginning to run down his face at both the pain and the heartbreak.

But he was still Rachel.

* * *

He awoke, to find his fist burning with pain. He must have punched the headboard. He looked at his hand, his knuckles were red raw. It took him a second to realize where he was, and what had happened last night. Rachel's apartment, the location of his dream as well. His sore fist clenched again at the thought of seeing Quinn and Jesse together. God, this was so fucked up. He smiled though at the memory of last night. He had missed that so much and the fact that he had made love to Rachel would keep a smile on his face the entire day.

He grinned as he turned to look at Rachel, but instead finding the bed empty. He frowned, hurt that she would leave him without so much as a note. Pissed from his hand and the sting of rejection he got up, found his pants and slid them on, before moving to get some ice from the freezer in the kitchen. As soon as he neared the bedroom door he heard sobbing. All his fears of her leaving him washed away as he walked out to see Rachel curled up on the couch crying her eyes out.

"Rachel!" He called out, rushing over to her and forgetting the throbbing of his hand. He kneeled down in front of her on the couch. "Baby, what's wrong? Was it something I did?" A wave of questions came spilling out of his mouth but he shut up when he figured out the real reason. "Y-You regret last night, don't you…?" He asked quietly, hanging his head in shame. He _knew _he shouldn't have listened to her. He just wanted her so badly and he had been missing her for so long.

Basically, he was selfish.

"No!" She called out quickly, her head shooting up to look at him. "God no, Finn!" She reached out to grab his hands with hers, her sobs subsiding instantly. "You have _no _idea how amazing last night was for me..." She said quietly, holding onto his hands as tight as she could. "Honestly have no idea..." She mumbled quietly, but still, tears were rolling down her cheeks slowly.

"Rach..." He said softly. "Talk to me. Please?" He asked, a desperate tone to his voice.

She began launching into big sobs now, sitting up and bringing her knees up to her chest. Finn frowned even further, he was still convinced it was something to do with him, and he _hated that._

She began breathing heavily, choking on her own sobs. "I-I can't..." She took in a deep breath. "I can't believe I almost married him," she whispered before breaking out into sobs again.

Finn's face fell and he breathed a sigh of relief quietly, glad that it didn't have anything to do with him. He smiled sadly at her, his hand slowly moving to her cheek, brushing the tears that fell away. "But you didn't." He whispered. "You didn't marry him and now you're here with me, right?" He asked hopefully, knowing he was sounding incredibly selfish, especially since she was in such a vulnerable state at the moment.

"No... you're right." She whispered back. "I'm here with you," she smiled through her tears and it was beautiful. "It's over... Jesse and I are over..." She let out a shaky breath.

"I love you," he said quietly. "Always." He stared deeply into her eyes.

Always seemed to be her new favourite word.

She got up before answering, wiping her eyes and doing nothing except wrapping her arms around his torso, hugging him tightly. "I love you too," she breathed against his chest.

He held her there tightly, breathing in the scent of her hair for a good few minutes before she broke away from him. "Come on," he said quietly, grabbing her hand and leading her back to the bedroom. "Can we try this again? I'd like to actually wake up next to you this time," he chuckled, trying to lighten the mood a little bit.

She managed a small smile. _Score._

The morning light was warm but harsh through the gap in the open curtains. Finn squinted at the light, moving over to close them properly. Before he could, he felt a small hand on his arm, stopping him. Just in time, he turned to see her slipping the robe she was wearing off her shoulders, revealing her completely naked to him in the daylight.

His mouth opened slowly, taking in everything he was seeing before him. She was never the one to reveal herself to him, always being too shy of self-conscious to show herself completely naked like this. He moved quickly, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her bare body against his. "What are you doing wearing those?" She whispered hotly, her hands travelling down his chest to the top of his pants. She slipped her hands inside them, pulling them down slowly, her eyes never leaving his. Her hand ghosted over him, making him moan quietly. "Come on," she whispered playfully, repeating what she said before.

She pulled him over to the bed and pushed him down on it, licking her lips seductively as she looked him up and down once before climbing on top of him with a giggle. "Tease." He muttered and she giggled again, but he kissed her temple anyway as she buried her head in his chest.

"You know..." She whispered, tracing patterns on his bare chest with her finger, outlining every muscle and even teasing his nipple a little bit. "Jesse never made me feel the way you did last night. Even if I was really upset, it meant the world to me that you came back." Her attention turned away from his body as she looked up into his eyes through her thick, dark eyelashes.

His heart soared at her words. "Really?"

"Really. You're amazing, Finn. And I honestly don't deserve you after everything I've put you through but last night... it makes me think about where this leaves us. I-I don't know what we are anymore, Finn. I think we've proven that we aren't capable of being just friends and- "

He shut her up with a kiss.

"Sorry," she said a little breathlessly, smiling sheepishly.

"I just, I want to know... But not right now. We can just relax now. We have all the time in the world," she whispered, snuggling in closer to his chest.

For the second time, Finn drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

* * *

The next time he woke, Rachel was next to him still, much to his relief. He was lying on his back and she was curled into her side, his arm wrapped around her. The sheets were draped over her body carelessly, like she had kicked some of them away while she was asleep. She made cute, light snoring sounds in her sleep, like she used to. That's one of the more distinct things he remembered about spending the night in her room when he used to climb the tree outside her window when her dads were asleep back in high school. He loved those nights, especially during the summer when they had already spent all day together. He missed the whole 'laying there without a care in the world' aspect of their relationship. Where they didn't have to worry about senior year or graduation or college or New York. They could just be _them,_ without anything trivial holding them back.

Finn's thoughts were broken out of by a loud banging at the front door of the apartment and a rough rattle of the doorknob. He rolled his eyes and groaned, hoping not to disturb Rachel, he slid off the bed quietly. He felt a hand on his arm before he could move anywhere though and he turned to see a drowsy looking Rachel, a huge smile on her face, even though there was someone assaulting her front door. "Hey baby," she whispered, sitting up and pulling him in for a quick kiss. The banging on the door was getting louder and Finn thought he could also hear a voice. "Don't worry about it, okay?" She said with a small smile, getting up and pulling on her robe to cover her naked body (Finn was incredibly disappointed) and headed over towards the door.

Thinking she wouldn't be long, he slid back into bed and pulled the sheets over his half-naked form, keeping an ear out, trying to listen to who would be interrupting them at this ungodly hour.

* * *

Rachel walked over to the front door, stifling a yawn even though she had the most beautiful sleep she had had in _ages_ (next to the most beautiful man he had seen in ages too) waking up mid-morning always left her a little drowsy. She unlocked the door and opened it, definitely not expecting to see who she did on the other side.

"Jesse?" She asked, an incredulous tone to her voice. "What the hell are you doing here?" She whispered loudly, glancing over to the bedroom door to make sure Finn didn't hear her call out his name.

"Why are you whispering?"

"That's none of your business, St. James!" She hissed, fixing her robe so she was showing absolutely no skin and crossed her arms over her chest crossly. "Tell me what you're doing here!"

"I want you back, Rachel. And I am willing to do anything to make that possible."

"I -" She stopped herself. She didn't know what to say. They were still to be _married _in the summer. She didn't know what to do but she knew that one heart would be broken today.

And it wasn't going to be Finn's again.

"I-I can't, Jesse." She stuttered. "I can't be with you," she said a little more firmly her hands on her hips.

"I'm sorry for what I did! You _know_ I am, Rachel!" He called, forcing his way into the apartment.

"Leave, Jesse! You can't just come in!" She cried out exasperatedly.

"And why not?" He yelled back. "This is _my _apartment!"

"Not anymore," she spat before walking back into the bedroom.

* * *

Jesse tried to follow her but he was blocked by a very large, very shirtless figure.

"You heard her. Get out." Finn towered over him and he swore he could see Jesse cower back in fear, like he had done the night Finn found out about their engagement. "She doesn't want you here, so get out." He repeated firmly.

"_Oh,_ I get it, Rachel. You want me gone because you have a boy over. Let me guess, you cheated on me with him? Is that your big, grand explanation."

And that's when Finn lost it. He shoved him into the opposite wall, picking him up off the ground by the collar of his shirt. "_You're _the one who cheated on her, St. James and _Quinn _was the one that cheated on me! So don't you even _dare _accuse her of cheating when she's been faithful to you ever since the day you met up back in New York City! And I've been faithful to Quinn as well, but no, you chose to cheat on the most incredible girl you're ever going to meet. I hope it was worth it." He hissed the last part quietly before dropping him back on the floor.

He didn't realize that Rachel was staring wide-eyed from across the other side of the room. She had the 'don't hurt him' expression on her face when all Finn wanted to do was punch his lights out.

"Go Jesse." She said firmly, shaking her head to snap out of her trance. "You can come by another day to get all of your things but..." She sniffled. _Uh oh, here come the waterworks again._ "We're done, Jesse," she let out a small sob. "I'm sorry, but we're done."

Even Jesse looked like he was in pain from the words, and Finn could feel his heart ache. Her heart was breaking all over again just because he came here and tried to apologize for what he did. He would've felt for the guy, but, the dude slept with his girlfriend. That reminded him that he still needed to talk to Quinn about everything. He sighed loudly.

Jesse glared at Finn one last time, and shot a longing look at Rachel before exiting the apartment. As soon as he was gone, Finn found Rachel in his arms, sobbing into his bare chest. He murmured into her hair, "It'll all be okay, Rachel." And she found it slightly comforting.

It only took her a few more seconds and sniffles to calm down before moving over to the front door and locking it, making sure no one could disturb them again. "Come on," she said quietly. "I'm sorry, but... I'm not in the mood for anything... _exciting _at the moment." She smiled. "If you know what I mean." She ran her hand up and down his arm, sighing at the feeling of his muscular upper body. "I need a shower, and I was wondering if you'd maybe join me?" She smiled, completely innocent, and although she wasn't up for anything at the moment, it was going to be hard for him to keep his hands off her and behave.

"Of course," he replied with a soft smile. She led him into the bathroom, giggling as her hands found the waistband of his pants again for the second time that morning. She licked her lips seductively as she pulled them down as well as his boxers. Oh, so she didn't want to _do _anything but she was still going to tease the hell out of him. That was totally fair.

He bit his lip as he placed both of his hands on her cheeks, running them down her neck and along her shoulders, pushing the robe off and letting it pool at her feet. He slowly leaned in, kissing her forehead softly before reaching behind him and turning the water on in the shower. He hadn't showered with Rachel in God knows how long and it always used to be one of his favourite parts of his relationship with her. He never thought Rachel would even dream of letting him take a shower with her, but when she did for the first time by leaving a small note in his locker, he could've sworn he was hard for the rest of the day, and he had to carry his books around in front of his jeans.

Once the water was hot enough, he pulled her inside the shower with him, causing her to squeal with joy, and that put the biggest smile on Finn's face.

* * *

She let him wash her body, moaning as he passed his soap-filled hands over her breasts and whispering brokenly that she wanted more when he touched her. He washed her hair, massaging the shampoo into her scalp in a sensual way that made her shiver underneath his fingertips. She casually lifted her arm up and lazily ran her fingers through his soaking hair while he did it.

It was intimate, and it was _them_ and it was perfect, without needing to do anything too sexual.

"I love you, Finn." She whispered as he washed the shampoo out of her hair.

"I know, baby. I love you too." He whispered back, placing a kiss on the top of her head.

"Thank you for helping me with Jesse earlier... You didn't have to and it wasn't your problem... I'm just really grateful. I don't have the energy to deal with him anymore..." She said quietly.

"I'm always here for you, for whatever you need. Even protecting you from your ex." He chuckled, nudging her playfully. His smile faded though when he caught the expression she made when he mentioned 'ex'. "Uh. I-I'm sorry. I just assumed -"

"Well, you assumed right." She said bluntly. "It's over."

He nodded slowly, still frowning slightly. "Okay," was all he said.

* * *

He knew he had to call her. But honestly, her one night stand with Jesse (and the fact that he saw it in his dreams, which was slightly creepy) kind of freaked him out a bit. Made him think she had changed. Which she had. She had always been controlling and a little self-centred but he believed it when she said she loved him. And he loved her. But now? He knew Rachel was the one for him, the one he wanted to spend the rest of his life loving.

Rachel had gone to rehearsals, for the first time in two weeks, only because he asked her to. It wasn't that she was too upset and didn't feel like performing, she actually just wanted to stay in bed with him all day cuddling and snuggling and whispering in each other's ears. But he did promise he would stay there for a couple of days to make sure she was okay, so he promised he'd be there when she returned.

Now that he had the apartment to himself, it was time to call her. He dialled her number, which he knew off by heart, of course, and waited for her to pick up.

"Finn...?" She asked hesitantly.

"Hey, Quinn." He said, his voice already thick with emotion.

"Why are you calling?" She asked softly.

Finn scoffed. "Why am I-? Okay, to put it bluntly, you _cheated _on me, Quinn. I mean, assuming you know that already." He rolled his eyes, knowing she wouldn't be able to see.

"I know… and I'm sorry. But we're still together, right? I mean… I still love you."

As much as Finn actually really did love Quinn, he couldn't forgive her for cheating on him for the second time in his life, the first time actually becoming pregnant because of it. He needed someone who was going to love him and be faithful to him. Also, he had just spent an amazing night with Rachel, and if he stayed with Quinn now, he'd be cheating on her. And he couldn't do that, no matter how many times she had done it to him.

"Finn?" She asked, wondering if he was still on the other end of the line.

"I-I can't. I can't be with you, Quinn. Not after this." He said firmly, trying to hide his cracking voice.

"But, I-I _love you,_ Finn."

"You obviously don't love me all that much considering you slept with the first guy you could come across!" He yelled into the phone, tired and frustrated. He just wanted all of this to be over already.

"Finn…" Her voice broke and he could hear sobs coming from the other end.

"I'm sorry, Quinn," he whispered. "But, I still love you too." He bit his lip as he hung up on her before he could change his mind. He didn't know whether telling Quinn he still loved her was the right thing to say, especially since she has come after him before, and she could just as easily do it again.

* * *

Rachel came home later in the afternoon to find Finn passed out on the couch, snoring loudly. God, he was so _adorable._ He was way too big for the couch so his arm and half his body hung off the edge and Rachel swore she could see a tiny bit of drool on his cheek. She looked at him fondly, she didn't know what they were right now, and she promised him they would talk. But honestly she wouldn't know where to begin. But there was something she wanted to ask him first.

She moved over to him, placing her hand on his shoulder and shaking him quite hard (he was an incredibly heavy sleeper) until he woke. "Hmm?" He asked, wiping his eyes a little before breaking out into a smile when he saw it was Rachel. He sat up immediately. "Rach! I missed you," he confessed with a blush.

She could feel her face growing warm as well at his confession. "I missed you too, Finn," she said softly. "I'm sorry I woke you up. I would have left you but there's something I'd like to ask you."

He sat up to give her room and allow her to sit next to him on the couch. She turned to face him, taking both of his large hands in her tiny ones. "Promise me you won't freak out, okay?"

He narrowed his eyes at her. What was she getting at? He nodded slowly. "I promise, Rach, now what is it?"

"I-I know you may be opposed to the idea although it is none of my business the relationship status between you and Quinn I do know that you and I shared quite a… decent night last night and I'm sure if you're still with her we'd be quite mature enough to stay in the same one-bedroom apartment as friends, although I know for a fact Quinn would hate that." She said in one big breath, pursing her lips for a second before continuing. "So I was wondering… relationship status or not, if you'd… maybe… move in with me?"

To be honest he missed most of that speech, only hearing Quinn's name a couple of times and picking up on the point. "M-Me? Move in with you?"

"I know it's sudden and you don't have to say yes, actually I encourage you to say no if you're with Quinn still -"

He had silenced her by placing his hand over her mouth, winking at her playfully. The large smile he was sporting faltered when he thought about it properly. "I'm not with Quinn anymore…"

She couldn't help the gasp that escaped her lips when she heard his words. "Since when?"

"Since today. I called her and told her it was over." He shrugged, as if it wasn't a big deal that he just broke up with his girlfriend.

"So…?"

"I think moving in with you sounds like a great idea." He grinned, and she squealed, squeezing his hands tightly.

"Oh my goodness! Now we can move all your things from Lima! And from that dingy hotel room! Oh, what about Carole? Hmm she has Burt so she should be fine. How do you feel about sleeping in the one bed? I might be able to get a mattress or fold-out to put on the floor of the apartment…" She was suddenly lost in thought of the whirlwind of excitement that was surrounding her right now.

"Rach..." He tried to interject softly but she just kept rambling.

"I mean, like I said before, we're mature and although we have some unresolved feelings, I think we should just push them aside and focus on us being roommates." She nodded.

"Do you really want that?" He asked quietly, looking up from their intertwined hands to her eyes.

"I don't know, Finn... you just got out of a serious relationship. And I was almost married! Do you really think we should right now...?"

Finn couldn't understand why she was acting the way she was. She kept telling him she loved him and saying they weren't capable of being just friends and now she wants to wait? She just asked him to move in with her! Was it all just a big joke? "No, you're right. We shouldn't." He said curtly, resisting the urge to roll his eyes and walk out of the room. So instead he sat there awkwardly, his hands still trapped in hers. He did avert her gaze though.

"Finn..." She said in that soft voice she knew he couldn't resist. He reluctantly turned to her again and she placed a hand on his cheek. "I want this." She flushed a deep red as soon as she said it. "I think I proved last night and this morning that I want this. I love you, Finn. I do. But... do you really think we're going to work a second time around?" She whispered her question, worry written all over her face.

"I do, Rachel. I think we can make it. If we love each other, that's all that counts, right?" If she wanted this and he wanted this, then what was stopping them? "And you know... if we lived in the same apartment, it would be impossible for me to behave, and you know it." He smirked. "And you're not exactly the 'friends with benefits' type."

She smirked back at him, and he was glad he was getting a positive reaction out of her. "No... you're right, I'm not. Friends with benefits don't really work when you're in love with the friend either..." She giggled, biting her lip and leaning in closer to her.

"So what does that mean?" He whispered, well aware of how close they were now.

"It means... I'm yours, Finn." She breathed before capturing his lips with hers.

* * *

**A/N: **Please review! :)


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: **I know I said there were plenty more plotlines I could use for this story, I really just want it to be over, because it has taken far too long for me to write/update (which I am so sorry for by the way), and the plot is kind of shallow, and I really want to focus on Home after this is out of the way. So I don't think there will be many chapters after this, including an epilogue.

* * *

_Three weeks later – three days until opening night_

"Babe, have you seen my old McKinley football shirt?" He asked, his voice laced with concern. Football was who he was! Who he still is! He coached the McKinley Titans to two consecutive National championships and since he's moved everything he owned into Rachel's apartment, he couldn't find the damn shirt.

"You mean this?" came Rachel's voice from inside the bedroom. He couldn't see her because the place was stacked with boxes. He had apologised to her a million times about owning so much stuff but she never complained, she only helped him unpack box after box of crap, most of which he was going to throw away anyway. She really was amazing.

His eyebrows furrowed and he moved around a pile of boxes, his eyes widening when what he saw finally sunk in. Rachel was wearing it. His McKinley High sweatshirt. _Only _his McKinley High sweatshirt. He could feel his mouth watering at the sight of her legs, and she was fiddling with the hem of it with a small smile. She looked up at him and bit her lip seductively and he let out a shaky breath. "Y-You found it..." He said quietly, taking a step towards her without knowing. His fingers trailed up her side before cupping her cheek.

She leaned up on her toes, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I sure did, quarterback." She breathed back against his lip before kissing him gently. The kiss gradually become rougher and his hands slipped past her thighs to pick her up, her legs wrapping comfortably around his waist.

He carried her to their bedroom (damn, he loved being able to think of it as _their _bedroom now), knocking a few boxes over on the way and slamming the door shut behind them with his foot.

Yeah, living with Rachel Berry was pretty great.

* * *

Finn woke later that afternoon; Rachel curled into his side, her hands tracing patterns on his bare chest. This is definitely the life he could get used to. "Good afternoon, baby," Rachel said gently and he yawned. It took him a moment to remember what happened, and he knew as soon as he saw his old McKinley shirt on the floor next to the bed. She cuddled in closer to him and he wrapped an arm around her. "I missed this…" She said so quietly that he nearly didn't catch it.

"I missed this too, Rach. You'll never have to go without it again though." He smirked.

He remembered their first time as if it was yesterday. He tried to forget all the tears and the whimpers of pain that escaped her when he entered her. He instead tried to remember the moans of pleasure that followed – not that there were many, as he didn't last long. But it was the most perfect summer afternoon he could have ever experienced in their entire life. And they had sex quite often after that, experimenting with different things every time.

She smiled lazily at his answer and kissed his chest quickly. She ran her hand up his chest to cup his face before rolling herself onto him with a smirk. She leaned down to kiss him gently, before peppering kisses all over his face. She ran her fingers through his messy hair before taking hold of his broad shoulders and looking into his eyes. "I love you, Finn."

He grinned. "I love you too, Rach. So much." His fingertips trailed up and down her back. "Baby, don't you have rehearsals tonight?" He asked, after he leaned up and kisses her softly.

She had to have extra rehearsals during the night to make up for the amount of times her understudy had to step in for her while she was upset over Finn leaving. She had been quite enthusiastic to get back into work, as opening night was only a few nights away now. She was becoming nervous though, Finn could tell. She still had those same nervous habits she did when she was in high school – cleaning things more than necessary, biting her lip, always lost in thought.

But the good thing about knowing all of these stress signals was that he also knew how to relieve her stress – that included massages and watching Funny Girl and… what happened that morning.

"Yes, I do." She sighed. "And I will non-stop for the next couple of days before opening night." She frowned. She hated to be away from him during the day – especially when he was still trying to find a full-time job. They were a little tight on money – basically living off Rachel's pay checks from the bar and the money he had from working at McKinley. No one would hire Finn thought because he didn't go to college and he didn't have any experience. She knew they'd be okay though. It was _them_, they had to be. "The nights are all ours though, Finn. Tonight is the last nightly rehearsal I have." She smiled softly.

"Good." He said quietly, giving her a quick kiss before she rolled off him again and got up out of bed. She didn't even bother covering herself with the sheet this time and Finn sat up, watching her move around the room completely naked. He licked his lips, he couldn't help it; she was far too hot for her own good. He watched her dress into her rehearsal clothes and move across the room to grab her bag. He pouted at her when she looked over at him. "Do you have to leave?" He asked, putting on his best puppy dog eyes for her.

She rolled her eyes back at him with a small smile. She walked over to him and kissed his nose quickly. "That doesn't work with me anymore, Finn Hudson." She smirked before giving him a small wave and leaving the apartment.

Finn fell back on the bed; it was definitely going to be a long afternoon.

* * *

_Opening night_

"_Where_ are my shoes, Finn Hudson?" She asked desperately, pacing around the apartment. She was stressed out, it was opening night that night and she was supposed to be there to get ready in 20 minutes and she _couldn't find her damn shoes._

"They're right here, babe. All polished for you." Finn said, coming out of the bedroom and handing them to her.

She stood there, staring at the beautiful man with her beautiful shoes in his hands, and all she wanted to do was kiss him senseless. She realised she had her mouth half hanging open so she shut it quickly and took the shoes off him. She rewarded him with a quick kiss. "Thank you," she mouthed at him before quickly grabbing her bag and racing out the door, shoes still in hand.

"Break a leg!" He called after her, followed by a small smile.

She had been on edge all day – asking ridiculous questions like 'what if I screw up?' or 'what if I'm not good enough?' or the most ridiculous one 'what if I lose my voice before I go on stage?' Finn calmly explained to her that unless she had her vocal chords ripped out, then she will be fine. Fantastic, actually.

And he was going to be there – front and centre, watching her entire performance from exactly where he should be on the opening night of her first real show.

Mostly what she was nervous about though was the Broadway directors that were also going to be sitting in the front row. She was the lead – and those directors watched the lead like hawks. But Finn knew. Finn knew she would be amazing and those directors would have no choice but to take the show to Broadway. He was incredibly excited for her, because he knew she could do it. He always knew.

The whole time they had been together, Rachel never really mentioned to Finn what the musical was about. It made sense, considering Finn would probably fall asleep just by listening to her talk about it. Maybe she did it on purpose. Because now he was actually genuinely interested in the specifics of Rachel's role, and there was no chance she was going to fall asleep.

He was just glad that her co-star was gay.

* * *

Rachel drummed her fingers nervously on top of the table. She sat in her chair, in front of a mirror, waiting to get her make-up done. There wasn't that much make-up to be done, so she wasn't going to be in the chair for long, but she was fidgeting. Yes, she may have practiced her lines a thousand times, but as soon as she stepped out onto that stage, she knew she would forget them. And yes, she knew she had been out on that stage to rehearse a million times – but as soon as she peeked through the curtains and saw the audience, she gulped and her body began to tremble. She _never _got this nervous. Ever! Was it because she knew those Broadway directors would be out there? She shuddered thinking about it - she could easily mess up a line, or forget her lyrics. She couldn't believe how mortifying that would be.

As predicted, her make-up artist finished her off quickly, and then she went straight to costumes. Her dress was quite old, vintage and very large for the first part of the show, so it took a while for Rachel's tiny figure to fit into it. She had to be as graceful as possible in it, and since no one could see her feet, she didn't have to wear those ridiculous high heels that her director asked for.

The stage manager came around the back and told them there was ten minutes until show time. She shot a nervous look over to her co-star, who was warming up his vocals. He shot her a wink and she took in a deep breath. This was it. Opening night.

Five minutes until show time and she was rocking back and forth on her heels behind the curtain nervously, wondering about all the things that could possibly go wrong during this performance.

But as soon as she stepped out onto the stage and saw the bright lights shining on her face, she knew this was it. This was her dream. And the nerves just flew away.

* * *

Finn sat down in his reserved seat in the front row, staring up at the daunting stage in front of him. Rachel's dream was finally coming true, and he was there to witness it. He smiled, wondering what she was doing backstage and how nervous she'd be. He even let out a light chuckle thinking about it. She could be so overdramatic sometimes. That was a part of Rachel that Finn would never want to change.

He even dressed up the fanciest he could for her – suit and tie – and she knew how much he hated button downs and ties. Especially ties. All he did was adjust them all night and it drove him, and everyone else around him up the wall. But he knew he wouldn't be focusing on his tie tonight.

And that's when the curtain opened, and she was the first person he laid eyes on. Her dress wasn't exactly desirable but she really did look stunningly beautiful - it must have been something about the stage, and the lights. It's where she belonged. And he couldn't believe that all those years ago he almost kept her from achieving these dreams. But he was sure he made up for it by being there tonight, front and centre. He couldn't get the grin off of his face the entire time she was on stage.

Until the plot began to develop, that is, and Rachel and her co-star had already shared a couple of kisses. Rachel was afraid of that the most, because she knew how jealous Finn could get - even if it was just acting. Let's just say he was glad her co-star was gay and had a boyfriend. He was going to be a terrible Broadway husband, he just knew it.

But then he realised, in the thick of it, her character was going to _die_. She didn't mention anything about her character dying in the play. He couldn't see Rachel dying! Even if it was just acting! He frowned and shifted uncomfortably in his seat – this wasn't going to be good at all. And he was right, as the performance reached its climax, Rachel's character proceeded to stab herself in the chest, and it took everything in Finn not to jump up there and 'save her'. She was such an incredible actress and it looked _so _real, and Finn's vision was suddenly blurred as Rachel's co-star tragically making his way over to her (he wasn't such a great actor) and collapsing on his knees.

Wait, was he _crying_? No fucking way. He quickly wiped his eyes on his sleeve before Rachel got a chance to look at him. He couldn't believe it. It was _acting _and he was actually crying and he was actually considering running up on stage and holding her, like he really had lost her. Finn just chalked it down to her amazing acting skills but his mind began to wander. What would he really do in a situation like that? He dared not think anywhere further past that. They had only just found each other again, why would he dwell on losing her yet again?

He shook his head with a small smile as the show came to a close, and Rachel bowed, and everyone, including him, gave her a standing ovation. He shot her a small wink from where he was standing and she only smiled brighter at him. He had never seen her this happy before.

* * *

But of course, something always comes along to ruin the happiness.

As soon as he made his way backstage, she flung herself into his arms with a wide grin. "I did it, Finn," she whispered in his ear and Finn couldn't get over how _excited_ she really sounded. Her dream was finally coming true, and he was beyond glad he was there to share it with her. "I love you, I love you, I love you!" She squealed again, holding him as tightly as she could.

Finn chuckled lightly, pressing his lips against her neck softly. "I know, baby. I love you too." He murmured into her warm skin. "I knew you could do it. I told you, didn't I?" He teased with a smile, nudging her slightly when he placed her back on the ground.

"Thank you," she whispered, biting her lip and looking up at him with a watery smile. "No one has ever believed in me as much as you… I'm so glad you came back for me." She said, her eyes welling up with tears.

As soon as he saw them, he reached up to wipe her tears away with his thumb. "Don't worry, babe, I cried too." He winked, and she looked at him in confusion.

He didn't elaborate – because they were interrupted by a familiar – and in Finn's opinion, sickening, voice. He spun around quickly at the voice with a sharp glare.

"Hello, Rachel, Finn." Jesse nodded as he stepped towards them with his signature smirk.

"What the fuck are you doing here, St. James?" Finn growled angrily, stepping closer to Rachel and wrapping his arm around her waist protectively. She held tightly onto his jacket, attaching herself to his side. "How did you get backstage?"

Jesse reached into his pocket and pulled out a couple of hundred dollar bills, waving them around carelessly. "I have money, and your guards are very materialistic." He rolled his eyes dramatically – why Jesse gave up his Broadway dream, Finn didn't know, but now he was kind of glad he did. He didn't want this asshole anywhere near Rachel and her dreams anymore.

"Why the hell would you pay the guards to come in here for five minutes? Come on, Rachel, we're leaving." Finn muttered the last part to her and he grabbed her bag and coat for her. He walked past Jesse, making sure to bump his shoulder on the way out.

"Quinn and I are dating now."

Well, that made them both stop. Finn let out another growl, turning around and advancing on him. He picked him up by his collar and shoved him up against the wall. "You asshole!" He yelled in his face, throwing him against the wall again. "What did you do to her? Quinn would never want to be with a cheater like you!" He roared.

Rachel flinched at his sudden anger, but didn't even make an attempt to stop Finn from wanting to break Jesse's neck. She just looked down at the floor, biting her lip. _Why was he still protecting Quinn? He was supposed to be with her now..._ She looked up at him and saw him glaring at Jesse. _He's just being a good guy, Quinn's his ex and even though she hurt him __**again**__,_ she rolled her eyes to herself, _he still cares about her._ She couldn't change who Finn cared for, but she also couldn't help the jealousy that bubbled up inside her whenever she saw the way Finn protected Quinn. Who cares if those cheaters dated each other? She was completely done with Jesse. It killed her when he did what he did - she wanted nothing more to do with him.

Jesse remained calm, unlike the last time where he almost wet his pants. "I don't need you _approval_, Frankenteen. I was just letting you know she's packing her things and moving to New York to be with me." He said evenly.

Rachel finally spoke up. "She's moving all the way to New York _just_ to be with an asshole like you? Wow, I hope she's sorely disappointed." She spat at him, moving over to Finn and placing her tiny hand on his back and began to rub. "It's okay, baby, he's not worth it."

Finn's grip loosened on Jesse's shirt as he dropped him back to the floor. He moved to Rachel's side again, wrapping his arm around her waist, but still glaring daggers at Jesse.

"I don't care for your jealousy, Rachel," she flinched. She wasn't jealous. She couldn't be. "But I'll tell you one thing, even if I do disappoint her, it won't be as bad as how _he_ is going to disappoint _you_." He told her, looking over at Finn.

Rachel thought Finn was going to jump on him again but instead, he gritted his teeth and muttered a quiet, "Let's go, Rachel." And without saying another word, he left Jesse standing there in silence.

* * *

Rachel was the first to break the silence on the awkward car ride home. They were facing heavy traffic but Finn stayed concentrated on the road, hands gripping the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white.

"Finn..."

He didn't answer her, instead continuing to stare straight out at the road.

"Finn, you can't believe a word he says, alright?" Rachel said, cautiously reaching up to place her hand over his on the steering wheel. She smiled when she could feel his grip on the wheel relaxing considerably. "I love you. Not him. You're not going to disappoint me, and even if you did..." She looked away. "I wouldn't care. Because I have a man sitting right next to me that loves me and cares about me, and he is the most beautiful and selfless man in the entire world." She said with confidence.

Only then did Finn show a small smile. "I love you."

"I know." She grinned. "I love you too, Finn."

The rest of the way home was much more relaxed, and by the time they had gotten back to the apartment, Finn had forgotten about Jesse and Jesse and Quinn completely and went to his and Rachel's room to go change. As he was pulling on his sweatpants, Rachel came into the room with a small piece of paper.

"You're invited to the party, Finn," she told him quietly as she came around him and rested her head on his bare chest, exhausted from the night's events.

"What party?" He tilted his head to the side.

"It's like a launching party for the show." She shrugged. "It's tomorrow night. We really don't have to go... I mean, I'm sure Jesse will find his way in somehow and I don't want you guys to be fighting the entire time." She frowned, remembering earlier on.

"But it's _your_ party, babe. Plus you're going to need a date to keep the crazy fans off you." He winked, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Really? You'll come?" Rachel looked up at him hopefully, her eyes bright.

He answered her with a kiss, sucking heavily on her bottom lip. He knew she was exhausted though, so it wasn't long until she was out of breath.

"You're the best boyfriend ever." She said quietly, her head resting against his chest again as he cradled her tiny body in his strong arms.

"I try, babe. I try." Finn chuckled, though the humour was lost as he saw Rachel's eyes beginning to close. "Come on, Rach..." He murmured, pulling her with him onto the bed and into his arms. He made sure she was asleep, which didn't take long, before blissfully drifting off as well, dreaming the entire night of her.

* * *

**A/N:** Please review! :)


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: **Once again, I apologise for the lack of updates. But after this, there is only one more chapter before the epilogue. If you're reading this, thank you for sticking with me for this long!

* * *

"Are you sure you want to go tonight?" Rachel asked him, snuggling into his chest and holding on to him tightly. She dreaded the thought of another fight between Jesse and Finn, but it was her show's launch party, so she definitely had to show up. And she really wanted Finn to be there. Finn being at opening night was amazing, and it was more than she could have ever hoped, but really, she could do without the drama with her ex-fiancé and current boyfriend.

"Yeah, of course." Finn told her. "It's _your_ party, babe; I gotta be there for you. I told you, you need a date." He chuckled.

"I don't _need _a date, but thank you." She smiled slightly before sighing heavily. The only thing she really hated about Finn knowing so much about her was that he knew when something was wrong without her even having to say anything.

"We don't have to go, you know. I'm sure your cast mates would understand. I'm sure they've all had crazy exes." Finn said, nudging her and trying to lighten the mood a little bit. She didn't smile like she normally did when he joked around, so he placed his hands on her shoulders which forced her to look into his eyes. "I mean it. We don't have to go if you think Jesse's going to be a problem."

She let out another deep breath before shaking her head. "No, no, we have to go. I already missed out on a ton of rehearsals and I owe it to them to be at every single event from now on." She nodded firmly and leant up on her toes to kiss her boyfriend's lips quickly.

Finn nodded after her and smiled. "That's my girl," he whispered before moving into the bedroom to try and find the clothes Rachel had picked out for him to wear to the party.

* * *

They decided to take a cab to the event, and Finn had to bite his lip and keep his hands in his lap to stop himself from jumping on her in the back seat. She was wearing what was probably the most revealing dress known to man, and he knew he would have to keep an eye on her, especially if Jesse was lurking around at the party. She had her hand on his knee, drumming her fingers nervously against it in an attempt to calm herself down. It wasn't really working.

When they arrived, Finn opened the door politely for Rachel and they both stepped out. She took his hand straight away and held it tightly. She had never really been to a place like this before - never really been to a party which was based around her and her show. She had no idea who was going to be there and that made her very nervous. Finn traced soothing circles on the back of her hand with his thumb as they walked into the venue together.

People Finn only barely recognised swarmed them as they came through the door. He was pretty sure these were her cast mates, and he was glad the guy that was calling her beautiful was the co-star that was gay.

"Oh, this must be Finn."

"He's _gorgeous._"

"I'm so glad you dropped that other son of a bitch."

Finn could feel his cheeks growing redder at their compliments, but he couldn't help but smirk at their comments about Jesse. Obviously her co-stars weren't big fans of Jesse either and Finn was perfectly fine with that. They really did seem like great people and he could see how Rachel could get along with them so well. The entire time, Rachel held tightly onto Finn's hand, and he could tell she was looking around for any sign of Jesse. But before either of them could get away from the crowd, two familiar voices broke through and Rachel's head snapped up to see the source of them.

"Kurt!" Rachel almost screamed, finally letting go of Finn's hand to jump into her best friend's arms. Kurt grinned and hugged her back eagerly and almost as tightly. They stood there for a few seconds in each other's arms before Blaine appeared behind Kurt.

Finn smiled and held his hand out to Blaine. "Hey, you guys! What are you doing here? I didn't know you were getting back from Europe otherwise we would've picked you up."

Blaine took Finn's hand and shook it, looking between Rachel – who had now separated from his boyfriend – and Finn.

"_We_?" Kurt asked the question Blaine was thinking. "Since when is there an 'us' here?" He raised an eyebrow, looking between them for a minute before a huge smile broke out on his face. "Well, look at that. You took my advice, Finn. You came back for her. Bravo."

"Wait… what is he talking about, Finn?" Rachel asked with concern, her eyebrows furrowing.

"Oh no…" Blaine said quietly, gently grabbing Kurt's arm and pulling him away to talk to him, and so Finn and Rachel could talk. "Kurt, you shouldn't have told them." Blaine said warningly when they were safely out of earshot of the couple.

"And why not? It was my idea that brought them back together, Blaine!" He huffed, crossing his arms over his chest.

"But _Rachel _doesn't know that. She thinks Finn came back because he wanted to not because his step-brother told him to. Now she's going to think that Finn didn't want to come back and he was forced back by you," even though Kurt was angry, Blaine's voice was still gentle and even. "It's okay, Kurt, they'll sort it out, don't worry about it."

Meanwhile, Rachel was staring at her shoes as Finn watched her cautiously, he didn't really understand what was going on right now. "Are you okay, babe…?"

"I just- no, I'm fine, Finn. It's okay. I get it." She said curtly, quickly passing him and moving over towards the bar on the opposite side of the room. She knew her boyfriend would follow her but she didn't really want him to. She needed time for all of this to sink in. Did he really come back just because Kurt was being a good friend and asked him to? Or did he come back because he loved her? She could feel a lump in her throat forming but she didn't want to cry – not here, at _her _cast's party. She would have a good time tonight, and avoid all of the problems at least until tomorrow. But she knew it wasn't going to be that easy. Finn didn't know anyone else at the party and he wasn't about to just leave her alone at a bar.

"Rachel, please just let me explain, I didn't- "

"I've already heard enough, Finn." She sighed, turning towards the bar and waiting for the bartender to serve her. "Obviously you didn't really want to come back for me so your _step-brother _had to force you into it."

Finn shook his head and took a step towards her, placing a hand on her waist so she would face him. "Stop it. That's not what happened at all. You didn't even give me a chance to explain!" He said loudly, a little more than frustrated with the situation. "I felt guilty as soon as I left you, Rachel. I didn't know you were hurt until Kurt told me. I thought you were doing okay without me and you needed space and _that's _why I didn't come back. And at the time you were _marrying _someone else! I couldn't invade on that, no matter how much I hate Jesse."

She still wasn't really looking at him, until he cupped her chin and lifted her face to meet his gaze.

"I came back because you needed help and I _love _you. I couldn't stay away. It killed me when I found out about... well, you know, but you needed me and I was there. It's that simple. Kurt doesn't know the entire story; I haven't seen him for weeks!" He sighed exasperatedly, waiting for her response.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly, finally looking into his eyes. "I shouldn't have assumed that you just came back because of Kurt, I shouldn't jump to conclusions." She sighed.

"Baby, it's okay. I can understand why you'd think that. I probably would've done the same thing," he said gently, caressing her cheek with his hand.

She smiled; he always knew how to make her feel better. She guessed that she just wasn't used to it. Being able to trust him again and having him trust her again. It was a lot different to what she had been used to for the past three years. She had missed him more than anything but she was still getting used to being with him and living with him. It was a lot to take in after just coming out of a serious relationship – an _engagement_, even.

He could see she was deep in thought when he interrupted her. "Hey… Let me buy you a drink, babe." He smiled, taking her hand and turning towards the bar.

"Yeah, okay." She said with a smile, giving her order to the bartender and squeezing her boyfriend's hand tightly. There was no need for unnecessary drama tonight. The bartender gave her the drink and she lead Finn through the crowd to try and find Kurt and Blaine again to let them know that everything was sorted out. She gave a small wave to a few people along the way; the place was completely full and loud though, so Rachel didn't think she would find the pair in a hurry.

They rounded a group of people before coming face to face with two people Rachel really didn't want to see – Jesse and Quinn.

"Well, well, well," Jesse said, stepping forward to greet the couple. Quinn stayed back, her and Finn hadn't seen each other since everything and he was avoiding her gaze. "Rachel," he said with a soft tone and a smile. "Frankenteen." Jesse reached over to grab Rachel's hand but she pulled it away sharply from his grasp. She turned slightly to place her free hand on her boyfriend's chest as he wrapped his arm around her protectively. Jesse rolled his eyes. "Ahh, the happy couple." He moved back towards Quinn and wrapped his arm around her as well. Quinn was still glaring daggers at Rachel.

Rachel held her boyfriend's hand extra tight as she caught his ex-girlfriend's gaze. "What are you doing here, Jesse?" She asked, even though both of them expected him to show up. Neither of them were really expecting Quinn though, who didn't look happy with the situation at all. "This isn't your party, or _hers _either for that matter." Rachel said, indicating Quinn but still not looking at her.

"Oh, Rachel, don't be rude, my girlfriend has a name." Jesse told her, looking up at Finn to see his reaction to the word. Jesse was right in assuming that it would affect Finn, as he tensed up immediately when he said it. He still ignored him though; he wanted Rachel's party to go off without any sort of problems. "And we're here to support you!" He said cheerfully.

"Well you can go support her somewhere else because you're not welcome here," Finn said bluntly, turning around and walking back towards the bar with Rachel close behind him.

"I'm so sorry, Finn. When I didn't see them outside I didn't think they'd show up but now they're here and –" She sighed, and Finn placed a hand on her back.

"It's okay, I'm just going to need a few drinks to get myself away from those two," he said bitterly, ordering a beer from the bar. "Do you wanna go sit down?" He asked, indicating the lounges only a few feet from the bar area.

"Of course, Finn. I'll probably have to go make the rounds soon, but I can sit with you for as long as you want me to." She smiled, ordering herself a drink and heading over towards the lounges. A couple of her cast mates were already sitting there chatting and she sat comfortably in her boyfriend's lap and joining the conversation easily. It was easy for her to remember Jesse and what he did to her, but it was also easy to forget him, especially with alcohol in hand.

* * *

Her cast mates on the lounges took turns in buying rounds of drinks for the group and before long, Rachel was slurring and giggling a lot more than she probably should be. Finn made a mental note to keep an eye on her so she didn't do anything to embarrass herself or anything else stupid. It was her party and he knew how these events went – the paparazzi were lurking just waiting for someone to slip up. He wrapped his arms around her waist as one of her cast mates brought shot glasses to the table. He probably should've told Rachel not to drink anymore, but she wasn't _that _drunk, and besides, he still wanted to feel a little more than fuzzy in the head so he didn't have to think about seeing Quinn with Rachel's ex.

It wasn't that it bothered him… okay, yeah, it really did bother him. But he wasn't going to tell Rachel that. He had hurt her enough already over the past couple of months. He couldn't help but miss Quinn. They had been together for three years and she kinda did help him pick up the pieces after Rachel left him during senior year. She wasn't really a bad person; she just sometimes fell in with the wrong crowd in order to get what she wanted. Like when she joined the skanks at the beginning of senior year.

He had a feeling that her and Jesse weren't going to stay out of him and Rachel's way though. He probably wanted them to suffer, and Finn could tell Jesse wanted to show off his beautiful girlfriend Quinn as much as possible so it would make Rachel jealous. He was already feeling jealous, and it made him feel dirty, he just hoped Rachel didn't feel the same. Rachel wasn't really a bad person, and he felt like a pretty bad person himself right now.

As he took his first shot though and he could feel the alcohol burn his throat, he could feel himself becoming a little disoriented. After the amount of beers he had had, a few more shots would send him right over the edge. But still, he continued to take them and when Rachel got up to go find Kurt and Blaine, who were probably twice as drunk as she was, Finn found himself alone at the lounges. He sighed, leaning back in the chair and closing his eyes, knowing how much of a pounding headache he was going to be having tomorrow morning.

He barely even noticed Quinn approach him from behind a group of people who were talking and yelling loudly. Jesse was nowhere to be found and he opened his eyes with a gulp when he saw her standing in front of him with a sexy smirk on her face. "Quinn… where's Jesse?" He struggled to ask, finally feeling the alcohol settle in. He probably wouldn't even remember this confrontation in the morning.

"Not sure," she shrugged simply, and the way she slurred a little made Finn think she was on her way to being wasted as well. She moved closer to him, towering over him and making him incredibly nervous. "I don't want him though," she whispered, leaning down to kiss him.

"No, Quinn. No." He pushed her back gently, and she stumbled, crossing her arms over her chest with a huff. If Rachel or Jesse saw this, things could get ugly. And he may have been jealous of Jesse having her, but that didn't mean at all that he wanted her back. He was in love with Rachel. Only Rachel. "You're with Jesse and I'm with Rachel." He said assertively, looking her in the eyes so the point would get across to her.

"But do you love her like you used to love me?" She whispered, biting her lip seductively as she waited for his answer.

"I've always loved her. More than anything else in this world." He didn't want to hurt Quinn either, but he has chosen Rachel, and Quinn was the biggest part in that decision when she cheated on him with Jesse.

"You say that _now_," Quinn rolled her eyes, moving to sit down on his lap and straddle his waist.

"Quinn what are you –"

"Don't you think that this is how it should be?" She breathed, closing in on his lips. "You should give us another chance, Finny."

No one called him Finny except Rachel. This was completely wrong. Was she _trying _to be like Rachel so Finn would like her more?

"Please?" She asked innocently, her hand travelling down his chest as she finally pressed her lips to his. And in his drunken haze, he couldn't help but kiss her back.

"Finn!" A familiar voice screamed out his name and Quinn pulled away from him so he could see a teary-eyed Rachel standing over them with her hands on her hips. "You're just as bad as Jesse and Quinn. Maybe even worse!" She spat at Finn. "At least they cheated on us behind closed doors!" She snapped at him before turning, grabbing her bag off Kurt and leaving the room.

"No, no, no," Finn muttered, pushing Quinn off of him with a lot more force than he probably should have as he went after Rachel. Her yelling seemed to sober him up a bit and made him realise how wrong what he was actually doing was. "Rachel!" He called after her as he saw her pull out her phone and leave the venue. "Rachel, please stop." He pleaded.

"No," she choked, dialling the number for the taxi service and quickly asking for a cab before putting her phone away. "I've heard _enough_ from you, Finn Hudson. I can't believe you would do that to me. Me!" She was drunk and exhausted, he could tell. She sobbed into her hands and leaned up against the outside wall. Finn moved over towards her to try and comfort her. "Don't come any closer, Finn. Just don't." She sighed heavily, looking over at him with tear-filled eyes.

"I can explain, Rachel. Please, just let me!"

"Not tonight. No. You were _kissing _her in front of _everyone_! I have nothing to say to you." She said quietly without looking at him at all as the cab pulled up. She didn't protest when he got in the cab after her though, she desperately just wished that it was all a bad dream and she would wake up soon. They sat on completely opposite sides of the cab as Rachel gave the driver their address. He leaned his head against the window, almost falling asleep on the way. As soon as she had sobered up, she was most likely going to punish him by kicking him out or something. He needed her, he _loved _her, and he had screwed it up _again._ All because of Quinn fucking Fabray and her stupid ass boyfriend.

Rachel didn't say a word to him when they got home, she just threw him a pair of his sweats from the bedroom and pointed towards the couch, indicating that the living room was his bedroom tonight. He sighed, he should've seen that one coming. It could be worse though. Much worse. He hated himself for this. Hated himself for hurting her and even thinking that Quinn was a good person in the first place. Jesse probably even planned the whole thing so they would break up! He ran a hand through his hair as he went to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. He chugged it down easily before grabbing another.

He heard the bedroom door creak open and he turned to see Rachel's head sticking out the door, watching him. "I hope she was worth it," she whispered suddenly and quietly before slamming the door shut and leaving Finn's heart in pieces.

* * *

**A/N: **It was terribly hard and annoying to write that whole Fuinn interaction. Ugh.


	14. Chapter 14

Rachel couldn't remember the last time she felt like this. The alcohol mixed with the heartache of the night's events wasn't doing that much for her the next morning. She still couldn't believe everything that had happened. Like last night, she really just hoped to wake up and find it all a bad dream or even a misunderstanding. But still, she woke up with the bed empty next to her and everything from the night before came flooding back. She cried softly into her pillow for about an hour, hoping that Finn wouldn't hear her and come in. He probably wouldn't have come in though, she remembered being horrible to him last night. But he deserved it… right? He cheated on her when she was in the same room! But he was drunk and so was she… Maybe she misinterpreted it? Maybe he was trying to push her away. It sure didn't look like it though…

A loud crash outside shook her quickly from her thoughts. Her head shot up curiously as she slipped out of bed and moved silently towards the bedroom door. She wiped away the remaining tears and poked her head out of the door. It was just Finn, standing over something on the ground. Rachel cleared her throat. They were living together so they still had to be civil with each other. And she wasn't going to kick him out and make him homeless. It wasn't the right thing to do.

"Oh… Good-Good morning, Rach." Finn said quietly, trying to give her a small smile but for some reason he couldn't. "I was just- I got up to get some aspirin and I think I broke one of your plates…" He said, blushing furiously and rubbing the back of his neck with his hand.

Rachel tried not to smile, he really was adorable. And the way he said her name _always _gave her butterflies. Instead she put her poker face straight back on and headed over towards the mess that was indeed a dinner plate in pieces on the floor.

"I- um- I'm sorry. I'll clean it up right away." He was acting very formal with her, and she couldn't really blame him after the way she screamed at him last night. It was like he was afraid of her and it was awful. All part of her wanted to do was jump into his arms and just forgive him for everything. She could see the guilt all over his face, but everything wasn't that simple. Whenever she thought about forgiving him, the image of Quinn all over Finn always crept back into her mind and it tore her heart out again.

"No…" She said softly, reaching out to grab his arm that went for the broom in the corner. He flinched, recoiling away from her touch. She frowned, reaching over to grab his hand. "No, I'll do it. You get the aspirin." She told him gently, rubbing her thumb over the back of his hand before letting go of it completely as she grabbed the broom and he went to the medicine cabinet.

Finn was surprised by the warmth of her voice, and at first he thought she was going to hit him for ruining one of her dinner plates but she didn't seem to mind at all. That was a relief to him though; they had a bigger mess to sort through. He had woken up only 20 minutes before with a pounding headache and a broken heart and he knew as soon as he broke the plate that Rachel would be in the room and that it would hurt even more. And it did. Especially when she grabbed on to his hand. Were they going to talk about it today? Part of him really didn't want to but the majority just wanted to explain, and tell her she was the only one for him and be reassured that everything would be okay. But that seemed unlikely at this point.

Once he grabbed the aspirin, he took out a couple of the small pills for them both and handed it over to Rachel. She thanked him quietly before washing it down with a glass of water. The tension and silence in the room suddenly became heavy and awkward. Neither of them really know what to say or do without it becoming even more upsetting for the both of them, so they both just stared at each other with sad eyes until Finn blurted something out.

"I-I got a job! Well, at least I think I got the job." He said shakily, running his hand through his hair.

Rachel's face seemed to light up at the news. "Really? Finn, that's amazing! Where's it at?" She asked, genuinely curious now.

He was caught off-guard by her sudden enthusiasm but he wasn't complaining at all. It was good to see her smiling again. "Um, I have an interview at an auto-shop today. Burt already sent my resume and his letter of recommendation over though so they think I have a good shot at getting the job. And that means I can finally pay you back the rent I owe you." Which was a lot.

"Oh, Finn, don't worry about the rent. Worry about getting the job first." She nodded excitedly, the smile permanently attached to her face. "I'm so proud of you though. Remember at the beginning of senior year when you said if you went to New York with me you wouldn't find a job or get into college? And now look where you are!" She smiled, and without thinking, closing the distance between them so she could hug him tightly.

He hugged her back equally as tight but when they let go of each other the smiles disappeared from their faces. It was so normal of them to be doing these things but it _felt _so wrong. They were supposed to be fighting, he was sleeping on the couch and she was probably supposed to be breaking up with him and kicking him out for what he did. So why were they still so comfortable with each other? Finn couldn't understand it even if he tried. Before either of them could say anything else though, the phone in their– Rachel's bedroom began to ring, and Rachel finally broke eye contact with him to go get it.

Finn stood there, sighing and staring at the floor when Rachel left the room. For a second it seemed like things were okay, but then the reality came crashing down around them. They _weren't _okay, and things might not ever be okay between them again. He wished more than anything that they could move forward. But it was _Quinn_. If it was any other girl she might have considered it, but they had a long history together. The weird, twisted love triangle between the three of them had gone far enough and for long enough, and Finn wanted to fix it. He _had _to fix it. If he wanted to be with this girl for the rest of her life, then he would have to do this.

Before he could think any further, he heard a deafening scream coming from Rachel's room. Wide eyed, he darted into the room to find Rachel jumping up and down, holding the phone to her chest with a huge smile on her face. Finn sighed with relief, her scream definitely scared him for a second. She looked so happy though, he wondered what it could be.

"Thank you so much! Yes, I will. Thank you! Bye." She finally hung up the phone and squealed, seeing Finn at the opposite end of the room, she ran to him and jumped up into his arms for the second time that morning. He held on to her just as tightly as before, even though he had no idea why she was so excited.

"What's going on?" He asked her, searching her eyes when he set her back down on the floor.

"They want to move our show to Broadway!" She told him excitedly. "The Broadway directors had come and seen the show, and they came to the party last night to talk with our director and -" She took a deep breath. "They want to move it to Broadway as soon as they possibly can! Finn, I'm going to be on Broadway!" She screamed, leaning up to kiss him, gripping his shoulders tightly. But before her lips touched his, she pulled back, setting herself down on the ground again.

Finn didn't even need to ask what was wrong - it was written all over her face.

"I wish it was this easy," she whispered, tears welling up in her eyes as she stared at her feet.

"Rachel, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have even pried this morning - I should've just cleaned up the plate and left." He told her, looking at her with sad eyes.

"No, Finn, it's okay," she said quietly, turning away and going to her closet. "I, uh, I have to get to rehearsals... Um, I'll just, see you later. Good luck with your interview." She said to him, without looking him in the eye, and disappeared into the bathroom, shutting the door and turning the shower on.

He should've known this was going to happen, but that didn't mean that it hurt any less.

* * *

The next few days were torture for both of them. They barely saw each other, Rachel was at rehearsals every day now that the Broadway directors had moved in and wanted to take it to the big time as soon as possible, so they were practicing until Rachel was basically exhausted. Most nights he falls asleep on the couch with the TV on, and she came and turned it off for him before heading to bed herself. She sometimes doesn't come back until the early hours of the morning, and the only reason he knows that is because when she comes home, he pretends to be asleep while she kisses him softly on the forehead followed by a whispered 'I love you'.

When they do see each other, it's only in passing, and they still don't say anything to each other. He was never going to attempt to understand the female mind, but at least on that first morning she actually _talked _to him. She even hugged him twice! He didn't even get eye contact with her anymore, but even he noticed the light had gone out of her eyes.

Actually, she had said something to him, a small mumble of congratulations left her lips when he told her he got the job at that auto shop in the city. He knew she told him he didn't have to start paying rent but he left money on the kitchen table every night, with a posted note with her name on it next to it. She didn't take the money though, and Finn thought a thief would get a nice payday from just walking through the front door and seeing the money on the table.

He just wanted more than anything for her to talk to him. He knows he screwed up, and he tried apologising but she wanted nothing to do with him. So whenever she came into the room he just sat there, staring at his shoes until she left again. That was when he _actually _saw her. Which he barely did anymore anyway.

Rachel was bustling about the apartment, trying to find everything she needed to go to rehearsals with. It had been long and tough days since the Broadway directors had come in and began co-directing with her previous one. Plus, what made it that much harder was knowing she had nothing to look forward to when she went home. Finn was sleeping on the couch, and she was still mad at him, despite the way she had been treating him the morning after. She blamed it on her hangover - mixed with a bit of guilt. But only the tiniest bit. She knew he was drunk but she still couldn't believe he did that to him. And that first morning was an involuntary moment of weakness, she had decided. She was definitely still mad.

But why did she feel like she wanted to jump into his arms and have him hold her whenever she saw him?

She sighed heavily, picking up her bag she took to rehearsals with everything she needed, grabbed her keys and headed out of her apartment and down to her car. She couldn't spend one more rehearsal with her mind lingering on Finn. She needed to start concentrating on the show now that it was getting more serious by the day. She didn't know what she was going to do about Finn but she couldn't dwell on it now.

As soon as she parked in the parking lot of her rehearsal space, her phone began beeping in her bag. She took it out quickly to find Kurt Hummel's name and face flash up on the screen of her phone. She smiled slightly before answering it. "Hey, Kurt, how are you?" She didn't mean to sound tired, but she was. Her nights were sleepless when she didn't have Finn sleeping next to her. She wasn't curled up in his arms like she should be and he wasn't holding her like he should be and –

"Rachel, I'm glad I caught you, are you busy?" Kurt's voice broke through her thoughts and she sighed heavily. She missed Finn so much and it had only been a few days.

"I'm about to go into rehearsal, but what's going on?" She asked curiously. He sounded concerned, he knew what had happened and he was a little worried. He had gone to so much effort to help reunite them and now they were apart again. Maybe it wasn't meant to be? But he would dare mention that possibility to either of them, because even if they were fighting and Rachel was extremely upset with him, they still loved each other more than Kurt had ever seen with anyone.

"Oh, I was just wondering if we could have coffee today… or sometime if you're not busy. Whenever you're free." Kurt said, trying not to sound too suspicious as he tapped his foot waiting for her reply.

Rachel sighed. "I can come after rehearsals. Where do you want to meet?"

"The Starbucks near my apartment?"

"Perfect, I'll see you then. Bye, Kurt," and she hung up before he got a chance to say goodbye. She wasn't stupid – she knew why he wanted to meet up with her. But she wasn't going to say no to her best friend when he obviously had something he wanted to talk about. Even if she knew what that something was. Why should she forgive Finn? He knew exactly what he was doing at the time of when he _cheated _on her in front of her face with Quinn. He had no idea how much it hurt to see Finn and Quinn kissing each other and Quinn being all over him. It was like flashing back to the first couple of years of high school – where Finn only had eyes for Quinn and he didn't know Rachel existed. But of course Finn joined Glee Club and everything changed after that. He was _supposed _to be hers; he was supposed to have come back to the city for _her._ He wasn't supposed to come back so he could cheat on her a couple of weeks later with the girl who cheated on him.

She sighed, running a hand through her hair, this was giving her a headache and she had a full day of rehearsals ahead of her before she had to meet Kurt. She had to concentrate, or the show would be a bust.

* * *

Six hours of rehearsal later, and Rachel was already running late to her coffee date with Kurt as she quickly returned to her apartment and jumped in the shower. The hot water relaxed her tense muscles for a little bit but all she could think of while she was in there is why Finn wasn't in there with her. The thought brought her to tears as she quietly sobbed in the shower before hearing the apartment front door open and shut outside the bathroom. She shut off the water and hurried over to her mirror to see if it looked like she had been crying. She had, and there was nothing she could do about it now that Finn was home.

She sighed heavily, drying herself and her hair slowly and getting dressed, ready to go and meet Kurt. She stepped out of the bathroom quietly, taking a look around to see if she could see Finn. And she did, he was in the kitchen, looking through the cupboards, most likely for something to eat.

"I'll go shopping sometime later if you need anything," she told him and her sudden voice made him jump and turn around to face her quickly.

He didn't understand why she was speaking to him at all for the first time in _days_ but he wasn't complaining. "Use the money on the counter." He told her before turning back around to look in the fridge now.

She sighed; he was being short with her and wasn't making eye contact. "I don't want to take that money. You're living here because I asked you to, I don't expect you paying until you have enough money for what you want."

She swore she heard him mumble 'money can't buy me what I really want' before clearing his throat and speaking clearly. "Just take it. Please?" He asked, desperation in his tone. "I don't want to fight over this anymore, just take the money, and I'll keep paying for rent until I can find some other place to live."

That was when she began to panic. "W-What do you mean another place to live?" She took a step towards him.

"Well, I need somewhere to live, don't I?" He asked, raising an eyebrow at her, not knowing where the sudden change came from.

"Yes! Here! You're living here, that's it." She told him sternly, crossing her arms and not meeting his gaze.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes!"

"…Okay then."

"Great. Now that that's settled, I have to go meet Kurt. I'll take that money and go shopping when I come back, okay?"

Finn didn't reply, he took a step towards her instead and narrowed his eyes at her curiously. "Are you okay? Have you been crying?"

Rachel froze in her spot before shaking her head slightly. "No. And it's none of your business," she mumbled, and without another word, she grabbed her coat and headed out of the apartment, leaving Finn even more confused than when she was actually speaking to him.

Rachel arrived at the Starbucks 20 minutes later, apologising to Kurt immediately for being late, saying she ran into Finn at the apartment.

Kurt sighed, his finger tracing around the top of his coffee cup without really looking at her. "You do know why I asked you here, right? You may have a horrible fashion sense but you're not stupid." He finally looked at her and she had a raised eyebrow. "I don't like seeing you unhappy any more than I like seeing my step brother unhappy. And now whenever you mention his name, you just seem so upset!" He shook his head, they were both acting ridiculous in his opinion, and he wondered why he always had to be the mediator between the two when there was a rare fight like this one.

"I know but he _kissed _Quinn at that party, Kurt! I'm furious with him right now!" She said, much louder than necessary in a frustrated tone.

"But that's not stopping you from talking to him and _hugging _him, is it?" He asked her with a raised eyebrow again.

"How do you know about that?"

"I've been talking to Finn on the phone for the past couple of days – he's been giving me regular updates." He smirked. Of course Kurt was on top of everything happening between the two of them. "The point is, you're both being really ridiculous, to be honest. I really think you should just forgive him for the _one _simple mistake he made while drunk. It really wasn't a big deal – he didn't do with Quinn what Jesse did to you."

Rachel bowed her head, taking a sip of her coffee before looking back up at Kurt. He was right; Finn didn't do to her _anything _as bad as what Jesse did. They were engaged to be married and he slept with another girl. But she probably brought it on herself – considering everything she had been doing with Finn beforehand. Finn was just her boyfriend who kisses his ex _once. _It wasn't really the end of the world, right? She was still _mad _though. "I have some trust issues after everything that happened with Jesse…" She admitted quietly. "I know it's Finn, but he said he'd never hurt me and he said I was the one he wanted to be with and then he goes and does that with Quinn." She sighed.

"Do you really think Finn sought out Quinn at _your _party when he knew you were there just to go make out with her in public? Of course not. Rachel, he might not be the sharpest tool in the shed but he's still a little bit smart and he has some common sense. And he loves you very much." Kurt told her with a shrug. "Can I tell you something that Finn will probably kill me if he found out I told you?" He chuckled.

"Sure," Rachel smiled. "What is it?"

"When you left him after graduation to go to New York…" He said quietly. "He didn't get out of bed for days, and all he did was cry and mope and complain about how it wasn't fair and how life wasn't fair. And every time I spoke about Blaine doing something amazing for me, he would mumble something about doing the same thing for you. That boy missed you more than anything when you left for the city, Rachel. He's wanted to be with you since the second you guys broke up!" He insisted, and before she could argue about Quinn he said, "He _settled_ for Quinn, Rachel. He settled for her because she cared about him and she was his first love and then they moved in together and everything was fine and dandy but he was still miserable without you. Whenever your name was mentioned, he would just fade into the background and pretend to not hear what you were saying." Kurt frowned at the memory. "As soon as he found out about Jesse hurting you, he jumped straight on the first plane to come and be with you, Rachel. Do you really think any other guy is going to do that? He's _the one_,Rachel. The one you want to and should be with for the rest of your life." Kurt shrugged, taking a long sip of his coffee. "I think you should at least give him the chance to prove that to you. He loves you more than I've ever really seen anyone love anyone else before. He would do anything for you, and I know for a fact he wants to prove that he can be loyal to you."

Rachel was still looking down at her coffee cup by this point, but Kurt could see the hint of tears in her eyes. This was hurting the both of them and Kurt was right - he came back for her and he said he wanted to be with her. He wouldn't just throw that all away on purpose, right? "I-I'll talk to him, Kurt..." She said quietly, holding back her tears with a small nod. She wasn't promising anything, but she wanted to hear him out. She _had _to hear him out. For them, and their relationship.

"Good, now I'm going to need another coffee before we're going to get into talking about those ridiculous pair of heels you wore at that party," Kurt said with a roll of his eyes and it made Rachel chuckle.

* * *

Rachel was sitting on the couch, her legs curled up underneath her, nursing a mug of coffee in her hands as she stared at the television screen. It was some news program playing, but she wasn't listening - it was mostly just replaying the top story of a local robbery in Manhattan. She had heard it all before, about a million times. Plus she had other more pressing matters on her mind. She knew Finn wouldn't be home for another couple of hours. His new job had definitely been taking a toll on him and he passed out on the couch almost as soon as he got home. But she didn't want to miss him tonight, and she didn't want to take the chance of trying to wake up early just in case she missed him.

She sat there for a few more minutes, taking another couple of sips of her cooling cup of coffee and turning her attention back to the screen. She was so relaxed and her mind was dozing off into a daydream so when she heard the bang on the door, it jerked her out of her state and she jumped, spilling coffee down the front of her pyjama pants.

"Crap..." She muttered, looking down at the mess she had made in her lap before putting the mug on the coffee table. She looked up at the door with wide eyes, wondering what could have made the noise. Before she could get up to clean herself off, another bang at the door sent it flying open and in walked Finn, clutching what looked to be a bandage on his right arm.

Forgetting that she had just spilled coffee all over herself and that they were both currently not speaking, Rachel's eyes widened as she rushed over to Finn, pulling his hand away from the cheap bandage - that wasn't even _wrapped _on his arm, Finn was just holding it there - and tearing it away to reveal a deep gash down the length of his forearm. She sucked in a breath, biting her lip and looking up at him. She could see him wincing from the pain and she quickly dragged him inside the apartment without another word.

Finn didn't say anything either as she pulled him into the bedroom and the connecting en suite. She slammed the toilet seat down and pushed him to sit on it. She then sat on his leg and opened the cabinet and began fishing through for some antiseptic. When she grabbed the cream she quickly squeezed some on her hand and looked up at him. "This is going to sting a little..." She mumbled quietly, as she spread the cream gently across the wound.

He winced and bit his lip, trying to prevent any sounds of pain from escaping. It hurt like hell but he wasn't going to let Rachel know that. He sucked in a breath though, and that's when Rachel knew just how bad it was.

Her gaze suddenly turned soft, and full of concern as she looked back up at him immediately. "Baby... what happened?" She asked, running her thumb along his wrist, trying to get his fist to unclench from the pain.

Finn ignored her calling him 'baby'. It was just another involuntary moment of weakness, right? "It was just a car part, it's nothing."

"It's not nothing..." She said quietly, looking at him through her eyelashes. "Please, Finn?"

"It's just... been a while since I've worked on any cars and stuff, and I just stuck my hand where I shouldn't have under the hood and- " He knew she wouldn't really understand what he was saying if he got technical so he kept it simple. "I just cut myself on something."

"Was it metal?"

"Yeah..." He said slowly, he didn't know what she was getting at.

"Then it could get seriously infected, Finn!" Rachel stared at him, mouth open slightly. "We'll put a bandage on it now and see how it is in the morning. If it gets any worse then we'll have to take you to a doctor." She said, shaking her head slightly, trying to hide the smile that was threatening to creep on to her face. He really was just the same old Finn she remembered in high school, and it was adorable to see his clumsy self again. It reminded her how much she missed him.

"So, uh, what happened to your pants...?" He asked curiously and she looked down at the brown stain and blushed.

"You scared me so I spilled coffee all over myself... And I don't have any other clean pyjamas because I haven't had time to go and do the laundry," she sighed, taking a bandage out of the cabinet and holding his arm steady so she could begin wrapping it around his arm. The thought of Finn being in any kind of pain hurt Rachel too, so she knew getting away from the sight and smell of blood would be good for both of them.

"Oh... well you can borrow one of my shirts if you want." Finn said, and immediately regret saying it when her eyes shot up to look into his. It was almost like a glare until she spoke again.

"That would be perfect. Thank you, Finn." She said in a soft tone, finishing up with the bandage and putting the cream back in the cabinet.

"Wait..." Finn said, furrowing his eyebrows again. "Why were you still awake so late? You're normally in bed by the time I get home..."

"No, you were just home early."

"That's because of the cut on my arm, Rachel I -"

"No, you're saying I was staying up late when _you _came home early!"

"Rachel -"

"Finn!"

"Can we just stop?" He yelled, his voice sounding exasperated as Rachel stared at him with her mouth open for a second, as if she was about to say something, before closing it and looking back down at her lap. "Please, Rachel... Maybe we should just go back to not talking because I'd rather do that than fight with you I mean at least I can _pretend _you're not mad at me. And I don't know _why _you're still mad at me! Well, okay yeah, I do but I'm sorry, okay? I'm so fucking sorry, Rach, you have no idea! God, I don't fucking _want _Quinn but obviously you just keep putting yourself down for her even though you mean more to me than anything else in this whole world! But you know what? That's fine, because if we're going to keep doing this then I might as well just move out tomorrow!" He yelled, and he instantly regret it with the look on her face.

Her eyes were brimming with tears and her bottom lip was quivering and Finn knew all too well what that meant.

"God, fuck, Rach I'm sorry I didn't mean to... God, don't look at me like that, please Rach just -"

Before he could finish though, her lips were on his, and luckily he was sitting otherwise the force she was putting into it definitely would have knocked him over. Her fingers were tangled in his hair and his hands immediately rode up the back of her pyjama top, setting her skin on fire with his fingertips. Her lips were moving hard and fast against his, throwing her leg over his lap so she was completely straddling him. She quickly began grinding her hips down on his, causing him to moan just as her tongue was parting his lips and meeting his urgently.

As much as he was lost in everything that was going on, Finn had to know what she was doing so he reluctantly pulled his lips away from hers, but that only made her kiss along his jawline and down his neck, making sure to leave a mark when she began nipping at it. "Rach..." He said, trying to form the correct words in his mind but once her tongue began swirling around his pulse point he knew his words weren't going to do much good for him today. "Wh-What are you doing?" He managed to choke out. "What are _we _doing?"

"Please, Finn, just kiss me," she whined, her hand moving to his cheek so he was forced to face her, before trying to press her lips against his again.

"No." He said, and the words cut through her like a knife as he pulled away from her a second time. "_Why_ are you doing this? What changed?"

"There's no change," she said softly, running her fingers through his hair. "I still love you in exactly the same way that I did a week ago. I just lost it somewhere along the way..." She whispered, moving her hand around to caress his cheek. "I love you so much, Finn Hudson, and I am so sorry about everything. It's just you and me though, no more Quinn and no more Jesse." She said with certainty.

"Just you and me?" He whispered, a small smile forming on his face as he wrapped his arms back around her.

"You and me. For the rest of our lives."

"I fucking love you too." He whispered before crashing his lips back on hers and moving to stand up. Rachel immediately caught on to what he was doing and wrapped her legs around his waist.

"I missed you," she whispered. "And I'm so sorry, Finn, I never meant for anything like this to happen. I just felt so threatened and -" But of course, she was cut off by his lips again.

"No more apologies," he breathed heavily against her lips before leaning in to kiss her again, more gently this time, as he took her bottom lip between his teeth and began lightly tugging. "Let's get you out of those pants." He breathed again with a smirk, making sure he was holding on to her tightly before beginning to carry her out of the bathroom.

"No. Stop. Here. Now." She told him in short breaths, moving quickly to pull his shirt over his head, exploring his body with her hands as she reached between them to desperately try and unbutton his pants. Meanwhile, Finn's hand was slipping down her back, reaching the waistband of her pyjama pants and pushing them down as far as he could down her thighs before she had to unwrap her legs from around him to get them off the rest of the way. She quickly jumped back into his arms after she had slid down her panties too. Finn groaned, feeling her bare lower half come into contact with his hips. His hands slid up her stomach and he let out another breathy moan when he realised she wasn't wearing a bra. His hands slid down and around to cup her bare ass as her hands worked at his pants. Once she had them undone, she slid them down along with his boxers and he kicked them off his ankles.

Finn smirked and turned around, and with one hand still holding her up, he reached into the shower and turned the water on.

"Finn, your bandage," Rachel told him gently, but she didn't push it. She just needed him, right now, and she could always replace the bandage if it got drenched.

"God, Rachel..." He moaned, ignoring her as she pulled back from him a little, reaching down to the bottom of her shirt and pulling it over her head herself, leaving her completely naked wrapped around him. He walked backwards into the shower, and Rachel let out a small squeal as the hot water hit them. Her squeal turned into a giggle as Finn began pressing hot open-mouthed kisses down her neck and chest as she pulled him so she was backed up against the nearest wall.

"Take me, Finn," she breathed, her fingers twisting themselves in his hair as he kissed and sucked the water droplets off her body. She knew he was going to leave marks, and Finn's marks were her favourite kind. "Just take me..."

"Gladly."

He pushed himself into her hard and she let out a loud groan, which only made Finn smirk more than he already was. "_Finn_... Oh my God, Finn." She moaned loudly, digging her heels into him from behind to push him in as far as he could go. She was pulling at the hair at the back of his neck and her lips were attacking his wildly, desperately just wanting to feel the release she had gone what felt like forever without.

"Come on, baby," he growled in her ear, continuing to thrust into her hard, almost slamming her against the bathroom wall, but she wasn't saying anything so he guessed he wasn't hurting her at all. But her moans were probably loud enough to wake up the neighbours through the paper thin walls. Or maybe they'd hear the thumping on the wall and complain. Finn almost snorted at the thought.

When he could feel himself coming undone, he got a few more good thrusts in, sending her over the edge suddenly, and almost immediately. "_Finn_!" She screamed his name in ecstasy, throwing her head back against the wall and shuddering as she rode it out. The sound of his name leaving her lips pushed him straight over the edge too, making him groan loudly and spill himself inside of her, making his legs feel like jelly as he held her up.

"God, Finn, I missed you so much," she whispered to him breathlessly, staring at his face adoringly and caressing his cheek again. "This will never happen again, right...? This whole Quinn and Jesse thing?" She sounded unsure, when she had just told him before that it was just him and her forever.

"Babe... you have no idea how long I have waited for you. I have waited for the chance to be with you again and to hold you and kiss you and do... _this _with you," he chuckled. "For a very long time. I'm not going to go and screw it up, okay?" He told her, looking deeply into her eyes. It was strange how the atmosphere changed from being hot and heavy after having quick shower sex, to deep and meaningful as he stared right into her soul. "I have you now... and I don't plan on letting go ever again. I screwed it up once before, but that's it. Never again." He whispered, before kissing her again gently.

Rachel could feel tears brimming in her eyes as she kissed him back, and she smiled brightly when he pulled away and gave her his famous crooked smile. "I love you, Finn Hudson. Always. Forever."

"I love you too, Rachel Berry. Always. Forever." He mimicked, kissing the tip of her nose softly.

Rachel chuckled as she looked down at his arm with the soaking wet bandage wrapped around it. "We might as well take advantage of this shower to clean your wound properly..." She frowned suddenly, her hands moving to his arm and gently beginning to unwrap it.

"You're the best girlfriend ever," he said to her, completely out of the blue.

"I know." She teased with a wink. "But you're kind of perfect too."

* * *

**A/N: **And that's most of it done! I wanted to get this uploaded before 2012 began and I finished it with twenty minutes to spare! There's only an epilogue to go now but I'm not sure when that will be up so I'll be working mostly on my brand new Monchele fic for now. I will give all the thank you's in the next chapter but I would just like to thank anyone who stuck around for this long to see the ending! It always means a lot to know my work is appreciated. :)


	15. Epilogue

**A/N: **And here is the epilogue! Thank you for sticking around this long to read my first multi-chapter fic! I will be working on mostly one-shots and drabbles for prompts on Tumblr and new chapters of Home from now on.

* * *

_Three months later_

"I told you we were _late_!" Rachel hissed at Finn as they walked through the door to the party that was already in full swing. "I can't believe you got lost in _Lima_." She said with an amused chuckle, nudging his side as they entered the room unnoticed.

"Hey! It's been a while since I've been here, alright? Ease up. This wouldn't have been a problem if your car wasn't in the shop and you could drive a manual car." He shook his head, letting out a quiet chuckle of his own.

Rachel turned to him and rolled her eyes, and that was when Finn knew he had won the battle, at least for now. Before either of them could say anything else, they were mobbed by Kurt and Blaine who tackled them both in a hug. "We were thinking you weren't going to show up!" Kurt cried out happily, sighing as he handed Blaine his empty wine glass clumsily, and it was obvious he was a little bit more than tipsy. "It was such a great idea to have this New Directions reunion party, wasn't it?" Kurt asked, even though of course it was his idea in the first place. "Everyone's here! Puckerman brought most of the alcohol and he's already off his face."

"Speak for yourself," Finn muttered and Rachel slapped him on the chest, but even he knew she was smiling as well.

"_Anyway_, Quinn is the only one that isn't going to make it." Kurt frowned, but he didn't notice when Finn and Rachel both visibly tensed up at the name. "Which is quite disappointing, I suppose… But anyway! Finn, my brother, I do believe I have something I need to talk about with you," he said sloppily with a very unsubtle wink in his direction.

Finn rolled his eyes and squeezed Rachel's hand quickly before being dragged off by Kurt to the corner of the room, next to the bar.

"You look stunning tonight, Rachel," Blaine said, holding his and Kurt's wine glasses like he had no idea what to do with them.

"Thank you Blaine. It's so good to see you again! Where is everyone else?" Rachel asked curiously, looking around to find the room they were in deserted. Kurt decided the best place to have the party was at Puck's apartment in Lima, that he shared with a few other roommates, so the place was a pretty decent size. But the front room was empty, and Rachel and Finn had never seen Puck's apartment before. "I'm surprised the place isn't a pig sty," she wrinkled her nose in disgust.

Blaine chuckled at her words before pointing to a door where Rachel could hear music coming from. "They're all in back, everyone just comes out here to get drinks." He rolled his eyes. "I'll take you to them, I have a feeling Kurt's going to be talking to Finn for a while…" He said quietly.

"What are they talking about?"

"Secret men's business, I'm afraid, Rachel. I'd tell you if I could." Blaine said apologetically, making her giggle, before beginning to lead her into the back room. She was swarmed by her Glee friends as soon as they saw her and she immediately stopped wondering what her best friend and boyfriend were talking about in the other room. Though she was very curious – maybe Finn would tell her afterwards. The familiar voice of Puck filled the room though as Rachel turned her head to see him up on a makeshift stage. She was surprised, and this reminded her much like the train wreck party she had in junior year – except Kurt and Puck seemed to be the only ones who were wasted at that point. Speaking of Puck, he was now singing a very off-tune version of Sweet Caroline and Rachel could only roll her eyes from the memory of that song. She couldn't believe she had ever dated him once – he was just like a big brother to her now, it just seemed weird to think of anyone but Finn as her soulmate. Because that's exactly what Finn Hudson was – Rachel Berry's soulmate.

* * *

"Now F-_Fi-Finn_," Kurt said, struggling to pronounce his name, and judging by how simple the word actually was, Kurt was _really _drunk, and Finn didn't even know if he should be listening to him at all. "I heard along the-the _some _sort of vine that you plan on proposing tonight!" He squeaked, his face lighting up with excitement.

"Hey! Keep it down," Finn hissed, "I don't want anyone knowing before it actually happens! Especially Rachel who is just in the next room," he reminded his step brother warningly. "And the only reason you know about it is because _I _told you."

"Whatever, Finn. Now listen to me – you have to do this right."

"Dude, I already know what the plan is. I ran it by you, remember?"

"Yes and it was mediocre." Kurt rolled his eyes dramatically.

If he knew what mediocre meant, he might have been able to respond properly. "I'm doing this _my _way, okay? Last time you got involved, we had a fight and things got ugly. So stay out of it and I'm sure, hopefully, she'll love it." Finn sighed, shifting on his feet nervously. "Now if you don't mind I have a girlfriend and a party to get back to. And so do you," he said, poking him in the chest with a small chuckle before going into the room leading out back.

Just like Rachel, he was swarmed by the former Glee Club members as soon as he walked through the door. He scanned the crowd for Rachel, who was dancing with Brittany on the opposite end of the room. He couldn't help but smile at her, if the night went well, she'd be walking out of here as his fiancée. He chatted for a little while with his fellow former Glee Club friends before going over to Puck and fist bumping him. He asked how Quinn was, and Finn only turned away. He knew about everything that happened with Jesse and he knew Quinn was always a sore spot for him, but he never learned – he still had to ask every question under the sun about her. Finn quickly brushed a drunk Puck off him and headed over to his girlfriend who was now chatting away to Santana.

"Hey, you." He came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist. "Having fun yet?" He chuckled.

"Yes!" She replied excitedly and Santana gave them one look over and rolled her eyes at them before walking away and leaving them to talk alone. Rachel turned around in his arms so that she was facing him and placed a quick kiss on his chin. "I missed everyone so much – even Santana – it's great to have us all back together again." She didn't even mention or acknowledge the fact that Quinn wasn't there, and Finn was grateful for that. He really did hope he never had to see her again. He heard from Jesse a month ago that they were doing well and were taking a cruise around the Caribbean, which suited Finn just fine.

"I know, right? I miss being in high school, I mean I feel old now," he said with a frown and he heard her giggle.

"As long as I have you, I think I'll be okay."

"Always." He answered her again with a smile.

He really did miss the club though, it had been so long since they were all in sophomore year and their only worries in the world were whether they were going to survive long enough to get to Regionals. Which they did, and with a National title under their belt, New Directions had become quite popular coming towards the end of their senior year. Okay, maybe not _popular_, but at least the slushies had stopped.

He had realised by this point that all the music that was playing was past songs that they had sung in Glee Club together. Mostly he knew that not because he recognised all the songs but no normal person would play Friday at a reunion party. Kurt was giving him weird looks from across the room as he danced with Blaine and Puck was carrying in drink after drink for everyone.

And he was starting to get very nervous as the reality of what he was going to do tonight hit him. He was going to _propose_ with a _ring _and get down on one knee in front of _all _of his Glee friends and he was going to ask her to spend the rest of her life with him. And all he could think about was how it could all go horribly wrong. He loved her, with every fibre of his being and with his whole entire heart, and he knew she felt somewhat similar to the same way. But he still had doubts. _Everyone _had doubts when they were proposing, right? It was nerve-wracking. He hadn't been able to sit still while he was having dinner with his mom and Burt the night before and Rachel noticed. Rachel _always _noticed. He tried to brush it off as nothing but she knew better as always.

He could see her smiling at his words and she leaned into him gently as they found each other swaying gently to the rhythm of the next song. It took him a while to remember what it was, who sung it, how they performed it. He never knew it would take this long to remember things about the Glee Club so long ago. The only thing he really remembered clearly about those years was his feelings for Rachel – because they were still the same. Actually no, they were stronger than back then, but he still remembered. He remembered the fluttering in his stomach he would get when they kissed and he remembered how she was the only one in the tiny town of Lima that loved and supported and believed in him without any obligation. The one thing he always knew though was that she was the love of his life.

Suddenly, as if his thoughts had triggered the change in song, the opening notes to Faithfully began playing loudly over the speakers. Finn and Rachel both turned to each other with wide smiles, this was _their _song. And then it hit Finn, this had to be it. This was the time he had to do this. There was never going to be a more perfect moment than now. Everyone was dancing around them, most of them quite drunkenly, so if he screwed it up hopefully they wouldn't remember it in the morning.

"Uh, hey Rach?" Finn asked, looking down into her eyes and biting his lip nervously.

"Yes Finn?" She mumbled quietly, her head buried in his chest as she rocked back and forth to the music, oblivious to everything going on around them.

"Can you look at me for a sec?" He asked with a slight stutter, and that definitely made Rachel stop and look up at hi, her eyes searching his for some sort of clue as to what was going on. She just nodded, licking her lips and waiting for him to say something.

He didn't say anything at first though. He was speechless, and so was she when all he did was drop down on one knee in the middle of the dance floor.

"Life sucks, you know? I mean, it was our lives that tore us apart and we were away from each other for so long. I still think about it every day – and I know that if we hadn't reunited I would still feel that way. Because I love you, Rach. So fucking much and it's never gonna be about anyone else but us ever again because all I see is you and me. That's it. I didn't even bother writing a speech for this because everyone knows I'm not so great with words but," he swallowed hard, taking a look around and seeing everyone watching them both intently, he pulled the ring box out of his pocket and opened it, holding it out to her. Rachel was already crying and he felt like if she didn't say something he was going to start crying too. "Things have been rough with us, babe, but I've never stopped loving you. Not even for a second. And I never will stop for any second after this moment. So… Rachel Barbra Berry, will you do the incredible honour of being my wife?" The room had suddenly gone deadly silent and he gulped, looking up at her as she cried her eyes out in front of him. He didn't know what they were but they most certainly didn't look like happy tears.

"No," she whispered, the one word that shattered his heart. "No, no. I'm sorry." She let out a strangled sob before turning and hurrying out of the room without any further explanation. The room was still silent as Finn stood back on his feet, staring at the ring in his hands with a broken expression. No. No, he wouldn't let it end like this. She couldn't just run away from him and it couldn't just be the end. He was supposed to chase after her – demand a reason why not. So he did.

He hurried through the door Rachel went through which lead to a hallway, most likely leading to the bathroom and Puck's room. She stood there with her head in her hands under the dim lighting, sobbing as her body heaved every time she did so. He just stood there at first; unable to do anything to his girlfriend that just rejected his marriage proposal.

"Rachel, baby, please talk to me." He was surprised by the sound of his own voice. It was weak, and his heart was aching and he just needed to know _why._

She moved her hands away from her face but she didn't look at him, she continued to stare at the floor, letting out heavy breaths every so often.

He was gaining confidence though – it wasn't going to end like this. Not after everything they had been through together. He didn't fight for her last time, so he was going to do it this time. They had gone through too much together to just end it all now. "I'm sorry, Rachel, okay? I get it, we are kind of young but I thought since you've been nominated for a Tony and you're most like gonna win it, that I'd just give it a shot. I get it. You're not ready to get married and maybe you never will be." He took a step towards her, taking her face between his hands. "But that doesn't change the face that I love you more and more every single day. Maybe it's a good thing you said no – so you wouldn't be lying to yourself every day in a marriage you never wanted to be in."

But before he could say anymore, she had crashed her lips against his, gripping the front of his shirt tightly and moaning his name into his mouth. He was too stunned to do anything but stand there and kiss her back. What the hell did she think she was doing?"

"Yes," she breathed heavily against his lips when she pulled away from him.

He narrowed his eyes at her. "Huh?"

"Yes, Finn. God, yes of course I'll marry you!"

Finn's eyes felt like they were going to pop out of their sockets. "W-What? No, you said no… You don't have to say yes just on my account. Say yes because you _want _this."

"I _do _want this!" She nodded her head vigorously. "I've been dreaming of marrying you since the day we met. I was just… I was scared, okay? The last time I was engaged it was with Jesse… and he really hurt me, Finn." She said quietly.

"Rach," he said gently, sympathy pouring out of every cell in his body as he held her close to him. "I'm not Jesse. I'm not some dancer who has amazing Broadway potential. I'm just Finn." He shrugged. "And I would never hurt you. Not in any way but especially not like that. There's no one else, Rachel. It's you, and it always has been you."

"No," she whispered, shaking her head slowly. "You're right, you're nothing like Jesse, I just- I'm so afraid of the way you make me feel… I just need to trust you. Which I do, so…" She looked up at him with a watery smile, biting her lip before letting out a small giggle. "I think we're getting married."

A huge smile broke out on Finn's face as he suddenly picked her up, twirling her around in his arms as he buried her face in her neck. "I'll help you with whatever you need, okay? I love you."

"I love you too, and I – Oh my God, Finn!" She gasped when she saw him pull the ring out of his pocket again. Of course she knew there was a ring but seeing it up close, especially as he slid it on to her finger just made her heart swell with joy. She let out another sob, but this time he could tell it was for an entirely different reason. "I'm going to be Rachel Hudson."

"You're going to be my Rachel Hudson." He repeated, smiling softly before leaning down to kiss her.

She kissed him back eagerly, her hands moving into his hair as she gripped her boy-_fiancé's_ shirt. She giggled when she pulled back. "I like engaged kisses much better than just regular old kisses."

"Wait until you experience engaged sex," he whispered huskily to her with a wink before she squealed happily when he picked her up off the ground again and her legs wrapped around his waist.

"I think I'm going to enjoy that quite a lot," she whispered against his lips, kissing him quickly and nibbling on his bottom lip.

After congratulations from their friends, it was no wonder they went home early for the night and didn't emerge until the early afternoon hours the next day.

* * *

**A/N: **And that's the end of it! I'd like to thank everyone who has read and reviewed this story, especially the ones who have been there since the beginning and have stuck with it throughout. It has taken me a very long time to write this but I am very happy to say that I have now completed my first multi-chapter fic on here. I'll be focusing a lot more on my Monchele fic from now on and I am in the middle of writing a third chapter! :) Review if you can!


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